


I Know Places

by HeadGirl91



Series: Placesverse [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Spoilers, Battlefield, Canon Compliant, Cellist? What Cellist?, Coulson still dies/gets brought back to life, F/M, M/M, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 2 Compliant, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Post-X-Men: Days of Future Past, Swearing, tagging is an ongoing process
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 20:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 64,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3264122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadGirl91/pseuds/HeadGirl91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My life hasn’t exactly been normal. I found out I was a mutant and had to go to mutant school. I became a secret government agent. I became friends with Captain freakin’ America. Aliens invaded. It was a whole big mess.</p><hr/><p>
  <i>"If I started a "Tony Stark is a Gigantic Douche, Even When He's Doing Good" club, would you join?" I asked Romanov.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>"We'd have to come up with a shorter name," she replied.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>"Dude, we work for the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division," I pointed out.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>"We'd have to come up with a better acronym," she amended.</i>
</p><hr/><p>
  <i>“How are we supposed to know who’s S.H.I.E.L.D. and who’s HYDRA?” Tony asked, incredulously.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>I could hear Natasha snort on the other end of the comm. “Isn’t that just the title of our goddamn autobiography?”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just A Game

**Author's Note:**

> I have massively enjoyed working on this fanfiction. I have never written so much of one thing in my entire life!
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I knew it was just a game. Until it wasn't."

I never thought I was different. I mean, my friends and I would play the game when I was in elementary school. If you were a mutant, what power do you think you'd have? As children will do, our answers changed practically every time. I can't even remember half of my answers. I didn't take it too seriously. I knew it was just a game. Until it wasn't.

I was eleven years old. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon in June and my parents were driving me back from a gymnastics meet in Albany, New York. It was only a little over an hour's drive from our home, where my mom was one of only two dentists in the small town and my dad was the best electrician, he told me. I held a small trophy in my hands, clutching at it like I was afraid that it would disappear if I let it go. The small plaque read:

_Bridget Olivia Benson_

_1_ _st_ _Place_

_Floor Exercises_

Floor was where I excelled in gymnastics. I wasn't overly keen on heights, a strange trait in a gymnast, I knew. I was determined to overcome my fear and kept practicing on the beam and bars whenever I could, but I wasn't yet confident to compete in them, preferring floor and vault. I had placed fifth in vault that day, as well.

"Mom..." I wheedled from the back seat. "Can we go out for ice cream?"

Mom glanced at me quickly in the mirror before turning her eyes back to the road.

"We have ice cream at home," she replied.

I groaned. "But only vanilla. I feel like banana fudge."

"That must be weird," Dad quipped. "Feeling like banana fudge."

I rolled my eyes. "That's such a dad joke."

Dad grinned. Mom sighed. "We have bananas and fudge sauce in the cupboard. What do you say we make it a banana split? Will that curb your banana fudge craving?"

"Yeah," I grinned. "Thanks!"

People were always shocked by the fact that my mom, the dentist, let me eat sweets. She always said, though, that as long as I brushed and flossed, and didn't go over the top with them, that it would be okay.

Suddenly, Dad yelled, "Look out!"

Mum swerved, there was the sound of metal scraping against metal, bright, blue lights, and all went dark.

* * *

The first thing I saw when I woke up was white. Everything was white. It nearly blinded me. All the white.

I felt movement beside me and turned my head. I immediately wished I hadn't when pain shot through my head.

"Ow." Tears came to my eyes. I didn't know where I was, what was going on.

"Bridget?" The woman who had moved beside me, catching my attention, now leaned over me, concernedly. She was pretty, with shoulder length red hair. "Bridget, I'm Dr. Grey. You're in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

I frowned, which hurt, so I stopped that. Did I remember? Remember what?

Then it all came back to me. The car. The scraping of metal on metal. The bright lights. The dark.

Mom and Dad.

Tears came to my eyes and I blinked to clear my vision. "My..." My throat constricted. "My mom and dad... are they..?"

Dr. Grey shook her head softly. "I'm sorry, Bridget."

I cried. I cried hard and I didn't care how much it hurt because the pain I was feeling in my heart was so much worse.

It took me a while to calm down, but once I had, Dr. Grey told me what had happened. Another driver had taken a corner too fast and swerved, unable to take control fast enough, and hit our car head-on. According to eyewitnesses, a bright blue dome of light had sprung up around me as soon as the car hit, seemingly protecting me from the damage that killed my parents almost instantly.

"Are you saying..?" I asked, a sob catching in my throat.

"Yes," Dr. Grey confirmed. "You seem to have a mutation and we would like to offer you a place at our school so that you can learn to control..."

I didn't hear much more. Everything was white noise.

_Mutant._

But it was just a game...

* * *

Dr. Grey accompanied me to my parents' funeral. My mom's partner, Dr. Gregory, patted my head awkwardly and gave me some empty words about how she would be missed. My dad's soccer team presented me with his team shirt, which I took with a quiet 'thank you.' Bethany, my mom's receptionist and friend bent down and pulled me into a hug.

"Are you going to be okay, Bridgy?" she asked, tucking a curl behind my ear. I nodded against her.

"Yeah," I murmured, pulling away. "They're taking me to a school in Westchester," I explained, motioning to Dr. Grey, behind me.

"Okay," Bethany said, not entirely convinced. "You have my number and my address if you ever need me, right?" I nodded.

She looked up to Dr. Grey. "Take care of her?" It was more a command than a request. Dr. Grey nodded, sharply.

"Of course."

* * *

Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters was a huge manor house in Westchester, New York. It was to be my home from now on. I was told that there were several 'year-rounders', who had no other home to go to during the holidays, so I wouldn't be alone.

Dr. Grey took me to meet the Principal, who she called the 'Headmaster' – it was that kind of school, I supposed.

He was a bald, wheelchair-bound man who looked to be nearing sixty, at least. I wasn't too good at guessing ages.

He smiled at me.

"Welcome," he said, but he didn't move his lips. I stepped back in alarm. "Don't worry," he said, moving his lips this time. "I was just demonstrating what I could do for you. I am what they call a telepath, Miss Benson. My name is Professor Charles Xavier and it is a pleasure to have you at our school."


	2. Getting In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We take our secrets very seriously in S.H.I.E.L.D."

School was great. I mean, I missed my parents. Every day without them felt like someone had ripped out my heart and stomped on it in front of me. But every passing day got a little bit easier. My friends helped.

Darren Wilson and Kate McAshton were the only 'year rounders' my age. Darren had been picked out of the foster system about two weeks before I ended up in Xavier's school and Kate's parents worked for a government agency that required them to be on missions abroad quite a lot, so it was easier for her to stay at school and they took her for a week here, two days there, whenever they could. Because we spent most of that first summer together, we became best friends.

Seven years later, filling out our applications to join S.H.I.E.L.D. – the same government agency Kate's parents worked for – we were still the best of friends and we were looking forward to taking that next step together.

"What if they don't want all of us?" Darren asked, worriedly, his curly, dark brown hair flopping in front of his eyes while he chewed on his pen lid. He voiced the worry that was niggling in the back of my own mind. Darren was tall, thin and wiry. He always looked wound tight, like a jack-in-the-box, ready to spring up at any moment. That was where his mutation came in, I suppose. Darren could jump to amazing heights. He often jumped to the roof of the mansion whenever he wanted time alone. Only Ms Munroe ever found him up there.

"Don't be stupid," Kate replied, furiously scribbling her application. Her mousy brown hair was scraped back in a ponytail, her bangs escaping as she wrote to frame her face. Kate could project illusions and sometimes this helped her look fresh-faced after staying up late or gave the impressions that she had put makeup on, when really she hadn't had the time. She didn't do it too often, though, as she said that it felt dishonest. Plus, she said, if she met any guys, they deserved to know what they would be getting.

"They'll take us all," she continued. "Mom told me that they want to expand the diversity of the department by training more mutant agents, but not a great percentage actually applies. Most mutants just want to lead normal lives once they can control their powers. Like Clarice."

Clarice Ferguson was in our grade. She could open portals for instantaneous travel, but she wanted nothing more than to just live a normal life. I didn't really blame her. Her powers manifested when she was twelve, after an argument with her parents. She walked into her room and ended up in the middle of the Amazon rainforest. It took three weeks to find her and she almost died. Now that she could control her powers, she wanted to forget they existed.

I nodded. "Fingers crossed, though?" I suggested. They nodded and we bent back over our papers.

* * *

We had just gotten out of Professor Summers' Shop class when Professor Xavier's voice rang in my head.

" _Bridget? Could you please bring yourself, Kate and Darren up to my office, please?"_

I stopped in the middle of the hallway, tugging Kate's sleeve to stop the two of them going without me. The Professor often contacted me if he wanted any of the three of us. Darren asked him not to do it as it freaked him out and Kate's parents had trained her to keep out telepaths (a result of their dangerous job) so well she did it unconsciously.

" _We have PE, Professor,"_ I reminded him silently.

" _I shall inform Logan,"_ Xavier replied. Logan was the only teacher in the school who refused to be called "Professor" or "Mr." He told everyone gruffly that it was "Logan" or "Wolverine." Most people went with "Logan." Any other name got you running laps of the mansion grounds, which were very large and so not fun.

I told the others that Xavier wanted us and we headed to his office immediately. Anything that got us out of Logan's sadistic PE class was worth it. Last week he instituted "extreme dodgeball" with absolutely no rules, all powers acceptable. I had an unfair advantage, I supposed, but it didn't last for long when the other team focused on me for so hard and so long that I couldn't get to my glucose tablets and actually ended up going into hypoglycaemic shock for the third time that month.

My mutation, we found out, and the reason that I survived the crash that killed my parents, was that I had the ability to form forcefields that shielded me from any harm. Once formed, I could move the field wherever I needed it. I could also form fields around objects and use it to move the object. The main downside to this was that the forcefields took up quite a lot of energy to maintain and my body used all available stores of glucose to keep me going. This caused my sugar levels to drop drastically in a short space of time. My first year in the school, I spent a total of three weeks in hypoglycaemic comas. They were not fun. I took to carrying around several packets of glucose tablets with me at all times and ate every sugary substance I could get my hands on.

Dr. Grey-Summers (she had gotten married to Professor Summers when we were in 10th Grade) admonished me for my poor diet whenever she saw me eating, but despite all the sugar, I remained healthy. I was average height and weight for my age and my mom had drilled enough dental care into me that my teeth were faring very well.

My hair was a different story, however. My hair was short at the moment and I hated it. It had gotten burnt in a training accident when Jubilee, a girl in our grade, missed the bot she was aiming for and accidentally blew up the bench behind me. I reacted instinctively and put up a forcefield, but not quick enough to save my long ponytail, which got four inches singed off the end when I turned my face away from the blast.

After the exercise was over I cried. I was eighteen years old and knew I shouldn't have cried, but I couldn't help myself I knew it was vain and I knew Jubilee felt really bad about it, but my lovely long, auburn hair, which I prided myself on, was ruined. Dr. Grey-Summers took me herself to get it restyled, but my new style, which skimmed my shoulders, just didn't feel like me yet and I couldn't wait to grow it out again.

* * *

There was a man in a suit talking with Professor Xavier when we got to the office. Xavier looked up when we entered and the man turned to face us. He was handsome, with light brown hair and you could see his muscles through his suit. I didn't even know that was possible.

"Good afternoon," the man greeted us, holding out his hand to shake ours in turn. "I am Agent Masters from S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy."

A thrill went through me. I reached for Kate's hand, unseen, behind our backs, as she did the same for mine and we squeezed each others' fingers in excitement.

"I am pleased to inform you that all three of you have been selected to begin training next semester," Agent Masters continued. We all started breathing again. We could barely contain our excitement; we were practically buzzing. "I will warn you, though," he went on, eyes narrowing. "We have exceedingly high standards. Less than fifty percent of our initial intake actually graduate. It is hard work and we expect the very best of you and expect you to expect it of yourselves. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir," I said, nodding. "Thank you, sir."

The others agreed, nodding as well.

"Very well," Agent Masters spoke. "I understand that you all live here fulltime?" He didn't wait for an answer. "So we shall send transport for you in six weeks exactly. We take our secrets very seriously in S.H.I.E.L.D. No summer vacation this year, kids." He nodded to Professor Xavier and walked out, briskly.

The three of us stood silently for a few seconds, before Kate breathed, "We got in."

The next second, we were hugging each other excitedly, babbling incoherently about our plans and our happiness, before Professor Xavier cut in.

"Congratulations," he smiled. "I am very proud of all of you." He turned to Kate. "I believe your parents are home currently?" She nodded. "You may be excused to give them the good news. It is Friday, after all." Kate squealed, excitedly, hugging the Professor before dashing out of the room.

Darren and I laughed at her actions and Xavier had a faint pink blush on his cheeks. He cleared his throat quickly, before turning to us. "I do believe that there are two Professors who have no classes this afternoon and who have been awaiting your news as much as you have."

We smiled brightly. "Thanks, Professor," I told him.

"Yeah, thanks," Darren agreed.

We left the office in search of our parental figures. At the age of eleven, with no parents to guide us, and stuck in a school year-round, Darren and I both became quite close with the member of staff that had brought us into the school. It wasn't intentional, by any means, but it had happened, and we tended to seek the advice and guidance of those individuals more than any other adult in the school.

I dropped Darren off at Ms Munroe's classroom, where I could see through the glass that she was grading papers and set off for the infirmary, where Dr. Grey-Summers spent most of her free time.

Sure enough, she was there when I entered, administering antiseptic and binding a scrape on the leg of a seventh grader. She finished off and gave him a firm warning to "use the stairs next time," before sending him on his way. She turned and saw me.

"I got in," I explained, before she could even question me. She smiled brightly, stepping forward and hugging me.

"Oh, I'm so glad!" she remarked. "Not that I was worried," she amended. "I knew you were going to get in."

I laughed.

* * *

School was out for summer and the time had arrived for the three of us to go for training. We had one suitcase and one bag each, having been informed about what space we could expect to have over the next few years. Professor Xavier had promised to keep the rest of mine and Darren's belongings in storage until we came to collect them.

The promised transport had arrived on the grounds: a sleek quinjet. Agent Masters was standing beside it while we said our goodbyes. The entire staff had collected to wish us well. Dr. Grey-Summers gave me a long hug and told me she's miss me. Professor Summers ruffled my short hair gently and told me to keep out of trouble. Logan clapped my shoulder and spoke gruffly.

"Hit 'em where it hurts, kid."

I grinned. That was his way of saying that he was proud. Logan didn't do emotion very well; it made him uncomfortable.

We finished our goodbyes and followed Agent Masters onto the jet. There were already about ten people around the same age as us strapped into the seats.

"You three are the last pick up for the day. Thirteen newbies," he stated. "Let's hope none of you are superstitious," he grinned. "Because welcome to the hardest four years of your entire lives."


	3. Prove Me Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Out of the thirteen of you standing here today, I expect only six of you will make it through to graduation." He stared us down. I could tell that the other recruits were trying not to glance our way at that statement, expecting that we would be the ones not to make it. "Prove me wrong."

We were the youngest recruits. It was slightly daunting. It appeared that most of the recruits came from some sort of military background before applying to the S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy, but that we got in based on our applications, teacher testimonies and video surveillance of our training sessions. It turned out that Xavier's Academy had a highly rated training scheme, on par with some military and special ops training systems.

Our age did not endear us to the rest of the recruits, the youngest of which was twenty-two to out eighteen. By the time we had landed in an unknown location and piled out of the jet, we had probably gotten a filthy look from every single other person on the jet.

Agent Masters barked at us to line up, which we did, leaving our luggage in a pile behind us.

"This is S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy of Operations," he said, gesturing to the group of buildings and the grounds behind him. "This has the most aggressive training program in the United States government and has the ability to turn you into one of the best Specialists and Field Agents in the country." He glanced up and down our line. "However," he paused. "Out of the thirteen of you standing here today, I expect only six of you will make it through to graduation." He stared us down. I could tell that the other recruits were trying not to glance our way at that statement, expecting that we would be the ones not to make it. "Prove me wrong." He emphasised every word in that last sentence.

Prove him wrong? I looked ahead, steeling myself, feeling Darren and Kate doing the same on either side of me.

Oh, we'd prove him wrong. We'd prove them all wrong.

* * *

True to Masters' word, it was hard. Also true to his word, the recruits dropped like flies. We lost one by the end of the first month and another two before the first year was over.

Kate, Darren, and I encouraged each other and kept each other going, even when we were freezing cold, wet, and tired after field training in January snow and when we were burnt, hot, and sweaty under August sun.

We were twenty-one years old and beginning our fourth year of training. There were five other recruits left, apart from the three of us.

Agent Haroldson, our hand-to-hand combat trainer, met us in the gym with a man and a woman I had never met before. Both were dressed in S.H.I.E.L.D. training wear and did not look happy. The man had light brown hair, well muscled arms, and pointed features and the woman was small and lithe, with bright red, shoulder length hair.

"This is Agents Barton and Romanov," Haroldson introduced, motioning first the man and then the woman. "They are two of our top Specialists and will take you for hand-to-hand today. They have orders not to cause irreparable damage, but that is all. I'm leaving you here with them; you are no longer my problem for today." With that, he turned and left the room.

We turned to the two agents expectantly. They looked at each other, seeming to communicate silently, before Romanov turned to us and started barking orders.

"Pair up!" she commanded. "Spar until we stop you."

Darren, Kate and I played 'rock, paper, scissors'. Kate lost and, scowling, went to join one of the other recruits, a woman who used to be an Army Ranger. Darren and I dropped into our beginning stances and jumped straight into it. We knew each other so well that it was like a dance routine. We blocked out everything else and focused solely on each other. After what could have been five minutes, or twenty, I felt a punch coming my way and instinctively blocked it with a forcefield.

Darren wasn't as lucky. Romanov's blow caught him on the side of his head and threw him off balance before he managed to re-gather his attentions. I turned to Barton, who had thrown off his surprise at his strike being blocked and threw another which I managed to dance out of the way of, before returning it with a swift kick to the ribs, which didn't manage to do much more than slightly wind the older agent.

"Nice trick," he remarked.

"Thanks," I replied. I blocked his blows as best as I could, looking for an opening to strike, but the man was good. "So, what did you guys do, anyway?" I got a little too close and he grabbed me, attempting to restrain me, but I elbowed him in the solar plexus and twisted out of his clutches when his grip loosened.

"What-what makes you think we did anything?" Barton asked, breathing hard.

I swept my leg out, attempting to knock his legs out from under him, but he was ready for it. He jumped out of the way swiftly, agilely staying on his feet.

"Top Agents don't get sent to train the cadets unless they're being punished," I explained, I was breathing hard too, by this point. The man was very well trained and had years of experience on me, not to mention a good few stone of muscle more than me. I managed to land a kick to the man's gut and as he involuntarily doubled over, I grabbed his shoulders and sent my knee into his nose. He managed to twist out of my grip, nose bleeding slightly.

"Well," he began, as we circled each other, slowly. "Let's just say that Agent Romanov and I are no longer welcome in the city of Budapest and we'll leave it at that."

His hand shot out so fast that I didn't even see it coming. I felt it hit, though, and my vision went dark for a few seconds before something caught me around the middle, knocking me to the floor. Barton pinned me to the floor, arm to my throat, weight keeping me down.

I slapped my hand on the floor twice, signalling that I was done and he released me, grinning. He got up and lent me a hand, which I took, gratefully.

Everyone else had finished sparring, including Romanov and Darren, who was sporting a bloody lip and the beginnings of a black eye. They had been watching Barton and I finish up.

"Not bad, recruit," Barton told me. "Not many people last that long against me. What's your name?"

"Benson," I replied, massaging my throat where his arm had constricted my airflow.

Barton nodded. "Well, Benson, good luck with your training. You'll need it."

* * *

Masters was right on the money when he told us that there would be six of us graduating the Academy. But, as we were determined we would, Kate, Darren, and I made it through andtoday was going to be our introduction to our Superior Officers.

We knew absolutely nothing about who our SOs would be, only that we would be informed when they arrived.

The six of us sat in chairs lining the corridor, feeling slightly like naughty schoolchildren.

"McAshton?"

Kate looked up. Masters had appeared from nowhere with a bald man with wire-rimmed glasses. "McAshton, this is Agent Sitwell."

Kate jumped up and shook Sitwell's hand. "It's nice to meet you," she told him.

Sitwell inclined his head and motioned for her to follow him as he started walking down the corridor.

One by one the cadets left with their respective SO. Darren got a severe looking woman named Johnson. I was waiting a good twenty minutes after the last of the others left with her SO. I'd begun to think I had been forgotten when I sensed someone approaching.

A non-descript middle aged man wearing a suit and a friendly expression walked up to me.

"Benson?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," I confirmed, standing.

He nodded. "Agent Phil Coulson," the man introduced, offering his hand to shake. "I apologise for my lateness. Director Fury kept me for longer than I intended."

I tried to contain my shock. This agent spoke directly with Director Fury? From what I heard, most agents never even met Director Fury, never mind spoke with him often, as his tone seemed to suggest.

"Ah, Agent Coulson, you made it," Masters spoke behind me, startling me. The man had an uncanny ability to pop up when you least expected it. "Benson, I see you've been introduced to your SO. You're the last, so I shall leave you to it." He nods at us and leaves.

Coulson turned to me. "I'm afraid we're throwing you in at the deep end here, Benson. We're going to be based in New York, but there's no time to settle in. We have a jet to California in the morning. You'll be set up to be sharing an apartment with two of your fellow agents, McAshton and Wilson, who are also based in New York. If I understand, rightly, you would prefer that?" I nod vigorously. I'd be living with Kate and Darren still? I was so happy, I couldn't even express. I went over the rest of Coulson's speech in my head.

"California?" I asked.

Coulson nodded. "You've been watching the news?" he asked. "We're going to see Tony Stark."

I had been watching the news. Tony Stark, billionaire owner of Stark Industries, a major weapons manufacturer had gone missing in Afghanistan months earlier. He had been found in the middle of the desert about a week ago and after some time in hospital was making it home to Malibu tomorrow.

"You have a suit?" Coulson asked. "We have to blend."

I nod. "Yes, sir." Coulson looked like he belonged in his suit. I couldn't imagine him wearing anything else. I imagined he wouldn't look right.

* * *

The apartment was pretty cool. I was the first of the three of us to get there, so I claimed the bedroom that I wanted, which wasn't the biggest but it did have the best view. I noticed that the windows seemed to be made out of bulletproof glass and wondered if that was common practice for all S.H.I.E.L.D. accommodation.

I started to put away the belongings that I had accumulated over my years in training, including photos of the three of us, which I put on the bedside table. I could collect the rest of my belongings from Westchester when I came back from California, I supposed. It would be good to see everyone there again.

My thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening and I ambushed Kate at the door, where we squealed excitedly about the fact that we would be living together. We were soon joined by Darren, who was also excited but refused to join in our squealing.

"So what are you guys doing?" Darren asked. "I'm going to be in HQ for at least a week while my SO finishes paperwork and gathers info."

"Same," replies Kate. They look to me.

"I hope you guys have fun," I tell them, grinning, "While I am in Malibu, meeting Tony Stark."


	4. Stark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fury was quiet for a moment, looking at the paused video screen. "You know what I think? I think we may have this wrong." He looked up at the two of us. "I think that someone has been playing us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers the events of Iron Man and as such, draws quite a lot on the film and the Iron Man: Security Measures comic. I am trying to keep this as canon as possible, but I don't really want to take large sections of text from the films/comics because then it wouldn't be mine. So I'm keeping the theme and plot but trying to reword parts. Obviously, if you recognise a bit, I took that from the film because I liked it and kept it. Just warning you that the credit for some of the lines do go to Marvel Studios and the writers of Iron Man.
> 
> I also intended to give it a week before I posted anything else, but I just couldn't wait! I'm so impatient!

I met Coulson at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ very early the next morning. I was issued my ID badge and handed the Stark file.

"I will give you a quick rundown on the situation when we're in the jet," Coulson promised. We were interrupted by an African American man wearing an eye patch.

"Coulson," the man greeted. He looked to me briefly, before flicking his eyes back to Coulson.

"Sir," Coulson greeted. "Stark's plane touches down at Edwards in three hours. Do you want a full debrief?"

The man nodded. "If possible. Don't push too hard. We don't want to ring any alarm bells. I just want to know whose side he's on."

"You really think he turned?" Coulson asked.

The man shrugged. "I think he was in that cave a long time." He turned around. "I don't buy the story about the terrorist's ammo dump just accidentally exploding. Something went down. I need to know if we have a mole running Stark Industries. Going over their financials raised a lot of red flags. Find out whether Stark is heading for white collar prison or the electric chair. I'm trusting you. Both of you." He addressed that last part to me as well. "You came with high recommendations, Agent Benson. Let's see if you deserve them." With that, he turned and left.

I turned to Coulson, questioningly.

He shrugged. "Director Fury has a flair for the dramatics."

* * *

While we were on the jet and I got over the fact that I had just met one of the most powerful men in the country, Coulson filled me in on what had been happening with Tony Stark's kidnapping. Apparently, being as he was the USA's top weapon's contractor, S.H.I.E.L.D. became concerned when he was kidnapped in enemy territory in Afghanistan. They were initially worried because Stark could potentially hand over military secrets to terrorist groups, whether voluntarily or under pressure. When there was no ransom demand, the threat became whether Stark would be forced to build the terrorists weapons that could be used against the United States.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. has been over the Stark Industries financials and things just aren't adding up, logically and numerically. Our job is to debrief Stark and find out exactly what happened to him in that cave. We need to know if he told them anything and if he built them anything."

I nodded. "But we aren't allowed to push too hard? So, what? If he says he doesn't want to talk, we back off a bit?"

Coulson nodded. "For now. If he dodges us more than twice, we'll have to become more insistent."

"Okay," I said, understanding. I went quiet for a moment. "Coulson? What did Director Fury mean I'd come highly recommended?"

Coulson looked over. "You apparently made quite an impression on one of our specialists."

I understood. "Barton? Agent Barton recommended me?" I asked, incredulously.

He nodded. "I haven't had a new agent in over two years, but I trust Agent Barton's judgement. He told me that you have the potential to become one of the best field agents S.H.I.E.L.D. has seen in a while. You're fast, you think on your feet, you're instinctive and you're persistent. Your mutation is just an added bonus, I assure you."

I blinked. "Barton got all that from an hour long hand to hand combat session?"

"Barton's one of the best," Coulson stated. "He knows a like mind when he sees it."

* * *

We got to the press conference with a few moments to spare. Those jets were really something. During S.H.I.E.L.D. ops training, I'd started to get attached to the technology. If I wasn't too careful, I'd become like one of those guys who married their cars.

We spotted Miss Potts, straight away, recognising her from the photo attached to the file I'd been given earlier.

"Miss Potts?" Coulson asked, walking up to her.

"Yes," the woman confirmed.

"May we speak with you a moment?" he asked.

"I'm not part of the press conference," she deferred. "But it is about to start in a moment..."

"We aren't reporters," Coulson replied. "I'm Agent Phil Coulson, this is Agent Bridget Benson. We're with the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."

Miss Potts raised her eyebrows. "That's quite a mouthful."

"I know," he smiled. "We're working on it."

"We've been approached already by the DOD, the FBI, the CIA..."

"We're a separate division with a more specific focus," Coulson explained. "We need to debrief Mr Stark on the circumstances of his escape."

Miss Potts nodded. "I'll put something in the book, shall I?" she said, but I could tell she was just humouring us.

"Thank you," Coulson agreed.

Stark then began the press conference by asking everyone to sit so that he wouldn't have to stand, which, for someone who looked as bad as he did, was understandable.

As he talked, I started to frown slightly and, by the time he finished, my eyes widened in shock. I turned to Coulson.

"Did he just..?"

Coulson looked just as shocked. "Miss Potts," he said, turning to her. "Does he..?"

"I'll let Mr Stark's comments speak for themselves," she replied, but she looked shaken, also.

* * *

We made it back to New York by late afternoon. Director Fury was there to greet us. The press conference would have aired by now.

Coulson filled Fury in on what had happened. "I just don't get why. What does Stark gain from this? His stock is going to hit the floor."

Fury hummed in agreement. "What was your take on Miss Potts?" he asked.

"Very smart," Coulson replied. "She could probably run that company herself."

Fury nodded, turning to me. "What was your impression, Agent Benson?"

"Of Miss Potts?" I asked, surprised at being asked. "Loyal. Definitely loyal to Stark, but she did seem as blindsided as everyone else."

"Okay, keep an eye on them," Fury ordered us both. He turned and walked away.

* * *

We submitted a brief report on what had happened that day and went home. Kate and Darren were both there when I got in.

"Bridge!" Darren called. "You're just in time. We were about to call for pizza."

"Pepperoni!" I called over my shoulder as I walked to the bathroom. I needed a shower.

"How was Malibu?" Kate called after me.

"Good! How was the office?" I teased.

The shower felt great after a day on the jet and then in hot and sweaty California.

When I returned to the living room, Kate accosted me again, dragging me down to sit on the couch.

"Seriously," she said. "How was it? How was Coulson? Do you have any idea who he is?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Darren looked over at us from the other couch. "Coulson is Fury's right hand man," he stated. "Your SO is the Director's favourite."

I sighed. "I kinda figured that out when Fury met us before we left this morning."

They both stared at me wide-eyed.

"You  _met_  Director Fury?" Kate asked. "I'm not sure whether or not I'm jealous of you right now."

"Don't be," I muttered. "He's rather intimidating."

* * *

A few days later, Coulson and I were given a new assignment.

"Twelve year old pyro mutant, unable to control her powers. She keeps getting more upset and her powers just get more out of control," Coulson explained as we walked to the jet. "She's already burned down three buildings and half a park."

"Poor kid," I murmured.

Coulson nodded. "Our job is to get close enough to sedate her so that we can deliver her to Xavier. I will have the tranq gun and I want you to try and contain the fires and keep her in one place so I can get the shot. Is that clear?" he asked.

I nodded. I could definitely do that. This would be my first proper mission. I wouldn't screw it up.

* * *

I screwed it up, was my first thought when I woke up in medical. I turned my head slightly, being careful of the pain in my skull, to see Coulson sat in the chair beside my bed.

"If you weren't coming out of a two day coma," he said scathingly, as soon as he saw I was awake. "I would be tempted to shoot you right now." He glared at me. "What the hell did you think you were doing?"

"I needed to make sure you could take the shot," I murmured. "The girl needed to get home to her family. I would've been fine if I hadn't left my glucose in the van. And by the time I realised, it was too late to back out. But I promised her family she'd make it home."

Coulson's lips thinned. "And what about your family, Benson? Did you ever think of that? You could've died out there! What about making sure you got home to your family?"

I shook my head, which was still slightly foggy. "I don't have one. They're gone."

Coulson went quiet, looking down at the floor for a moment, before returning his gaze to me. "As long as you are my agent, Bridget Benson, you make sure you come home to me. You got that?"

Then he got up and left, leaving me speechless.

I found out from a nurse that I had been in medical for two days and that Coulson had barely left my side the entire time.

It was a lot to take in, but it seemed now, eleven years after having lost the original ones, I had just gained a new parent...

* * *

I was returned to active duty the next day, when my sugar levels were normalised and I passed the cognitive tests, and I immediately went to find Coulson.

He was in the command room with Fury, discussing Stark again. When they noticed me, Fury greeted me.

"Benson, I see you're better." He didn't mention the incident that landed me in medical bay. He probably knew I'd gotten the third degree from Coulson, earlier. "Your mutant made it to Xavier's. I got confirmation this morning." He sighed. "I have to deal with a rash of U.A.V. sightings."

"Unmanned Arial Vehicles?" I asked.

"Fury, we've got a visual!" an agent called from the other side of the room.

We walked over and watched the screens as what looked like a man-shaped drone travelled along the west coast. Fury and Coulson debated whether the thing was remote controlled or whether there was a man in that thing. Fury went quiet for a moment, and then ordered to see the surveillance from the Kunar Province.

We watched the surveillance of the terrorist's ammo exploding and saw an image in the edge of the explosion.

"It's Stark."

* * *

Coulson and I were attending the Third Annual Firefighter's Fund Gala. He was in a slightly fancier suit and I was in a royal blue dress I had purchased for the occasion.

We tracked down Stark at the bar.

"Mr. Stark?" I asked, being the first to reach him.

"Yeah?" he replied, barely looking round.

"Agent Benson and Agent Coulson," I told him.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guys from the..."

"Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division," Coulson finished.

"God, you need a new name for that," Stark murmured into his scotch.

"Yeah, we hear that a lot," Coulson replied. "Listen, I know this must be a trying time for you, but we need to debrief you."

I continued. "There are still a lot of unanswered questions, and time can be a factor with these things," I explained.

Stark nodded, but he was no longer paying us his full attention, instead looking out across the room.

"Let's just put something on the books," Coulson continued. "How about the 24th at 7:00 p.m. at Stark Industries?"

"Tell you what," Stark said, holding out his hand in turn for us to shake, still not looking at us. "You got it. You're absolutely right. Well, I'm going to go to my assistant, and we'll make a date." He turned and left.

Coulson looked at me. I shrugged. "We got a date. Whether or not he remembers is a different issue."

* * *

A few days later, Coulson, Fury, and I were in a small town in the Middle East called Gulmira. The place had been host to a terrorist attack the day before, to be saved by what we were sure was Stark in, we found when we moved a surveillance tape, what appeared to be upgraded armour.

"He made a point of destroying those Jericho missiles," I pointed out, after the video had finished.

Fury nodded. "He knows we're onto him. Maybe he was just trying to wipe out any evidence of his involvement..."

An agent interrupted by calling out from the van. "Fury! Your bogey's just been sighting engaging some F-22 Raptors."

We quickly piled into the van, watching the video feed.

"If he gives those boys anything as much as a nose bleed, I'll make those three months in that cave seem like Club Med," Fury snarled.

"He's attempting to evade, rather than engage," Coulson commented.

We watched as a pilot had to evacuate his jet.

"The parachute's stuck," Fury noticed.

We watched Stark race to the falling pilot, unjamming his chute.

"He exposed himself to fire in order to open the chute manually and save that pilot," Coulson remarked. "Do you think he's just afraid to upset the military, or..?"

Fury was quiet for a moment, looking at the paused video screen. "You know what I think? I think we may have this wrong." He looked up at the two of us. "I think that someone has been playing us."

Fury walked to the van's exit, looking back at us from the doorway.

"I think that Obadiah Stane has been very forthcoming on information on Tony Stark, to say that Stark is supposed to be like a son to him..." Coulson nodded. "We're going back stateside. You two keep your appointment at Stark Industries."

* * *

Coulson and I were sat in chairs in Stark Industries' lobby, waiting for Miss Potts to become available. I was just about to walk to reception to ask again when I saw her coming down the stairs, shoulders tense, staring straight ahead.

"Miss Potts?" Coulson asked, standing. "We had an appointment. Did you forget..?"

"Nope, right now. Come with me," she said briskly, not even slowing down.

"Right now?" Coulson asked, surprised.

"We're going to have it right now," she confirmed. "Yeah, walk with me."

I fell into step on one side of her, Coulson on the other. Something was up and we both could sense it. Miss Potts was scared.

"I'm going to give you the meeting of your life," she promised. "Your office."

* * *

It took us only ten minutes to reach the S.H.I.E.L.D. office in Malibu. Miss Potts handed over a flash drive, which she claimed contained information from the Stark Industries mainframe that Stark had asked her to retrieve, as well as proof that Stane was building his own suit to rival Stark's.

We looked it all over and felt cold.

Coulson had started to call Fury before we had even finished reading it all.

"Sir? You were right. It was Stane. He's been funnelling arms to the Ten Rings." He started pacing. "I'm scrambling to get a team together now, but it gets worse... He's building his own suit."

Miss Potts was on her own cell, trying to contact Stark. "Tony?" she said. "Tony?" she repeated. After a few seconds, she ended the call, looking up at me. "He picked up, but didn't answer. What does that mean?"

I couldn't think of anything to say that would have made her feel any better.

* * *

We assembled a small team of agents and pulled up outside the building Miss Potts directed us to approximately 15 minutes later. We followed her into the building as she swiped her pass to gain entrance.

"Section sixteen, section sixteen," she murmured, looking around as she walked across the room. "There it is," she said, spotting it.

She swiped her pass. It didn't work. She swiped it again.

"It's not working. I should have access to everything."

Coulson looked to me. "Benson, can you..?"

I nodded. Knowing that finesse wasn't the issue here, I created a small force field between the door and the doorframe and rapidly expanded it, ripping the door out of the frame forcefully.

"That works," Miss Potts murmured, looking at me, her eyes full of questions, but knowing now was not the time.

We walked cautiously down the stairs, guns out. Miss Potts remained in the middle of our group, with Coulson, myself, and another agent in front, and three more agents behind her.

We turned a corner and spotted a suit, very similar to the first one we saw Stark wearing,

"You were right," Coulson told her. "He was building a suit."

I looked at it. "I thought it would be bigger."

"Benson, with me," Coulson ordered. I followed him as he jumped over the railing and started to check the room for Stane or any other threats.

We didn't get very far before we heard Miss Potts scream and the sound of gunfire. We ran back to the source of the noise, only to be blindsided as the wall in front of us caved in, debris hitting my head before I could react and knocking me out.

* * *

I came around to Miss Potts running towards us.

"We have to get out of here, right now!" she insisted. An explosion behind her proved how right she was. Coulson wasn't conscious yet, so I formed a field around him and ran with Miss Potts, Coulson trailing just behind us. We managed to just clear the building as the whole thing exploded. I instinctively shielded us all from the blast.

As the explosion died down, I left Coulson, chasing after Miss Potts who was frantically trying to find Stark. She found him collapsed against some railing on the roof.

"Thank God, he's alive," she cried.

I noticed the flickering device in his chest. "Is that thing still working?" I asked, concerned.

"Barely," she whispered. Then she looked up. "Oh no. If Tony's still alive, then Obadiah could be-"

She was interrupted when an object came whizzing over our heads and into the hole into the building below.

I looked over to see Coulson limping towards us. "Don't worry. If he's still alive, that will take care of him." He looked over to Stark. "I'm more concerned about what tomorrow will bring."

* * *

Fury was reading a newspaper in the break room of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Malibu HQ when we got back after briefing Stark on his cover story the next day. The press conference was just beginning on the television on the wall.

"Iron Man," he read. "Catchy. We should trademark it."

"Already done, sir," Coulson surprised me by saying. "All related domains have been purchased, also."

"Stark has been briefed on his cover story," I informed Fury.

I looked up at the television just as Stark deviated from his cover story by saying: "The truth is... I am Iron Man."

I slumped down in the nearest chair in exasperation.

Coulson scowled. "We told him to stick to the statement. He-"

"-did exactly what I expected him to," Fury stated. We both looked to him in surprise.

"That cover story was specially created by the psych boys for Stark to reject. I don't need a yes man. I need someone who is gonna make the right call, doesn't care about odds and rewrites rules on the fly. Stark has the potential to become a great asset... If he can do it under pressure, with the world watching." He paused. "He passed the test."

"I'm speechless, sir," Coulson admitted.

"First time for everything," Fury grinned. He turned to me. "Great work, Benson. Guess the rumours about you were true. Keep up the good work. Oh, and the two of you, take the rest of the week off." He began to walk out of the room. "I have to go see a man about the future of our country."

* * *

My first Thanksgiving as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, I was abandoned by both Darren and Kate. Kate's parents were dragging her to Chicago to visit family and Darren had been invited to spend Thanksgiving with his SO. I hadn't ever spent a Thanksgiving alone. I considered going up to Westchester, but Dr. Grey-Summers was away at a conference in Berlin and wouldn't be back until the following Monday.

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" I asked Coulson, a few days before the date. I swung my feet up onto his desk, trying to get comfy in the obscenely stiff chair Coulson kept in his office, in my opinion to ward off visitors.

He looked over at me from the stack of paperwork covering his desk. I wasn't actually convinced he did this paperwork, or that any of it had a purpose. I was certain that he just kept it there so he could look busy if anyone unimportant came to talk to him.

"My sister and her husband invited me," he replied, knocking my feet off of his desk. "Sit up straight," he scowled. "You're a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, not a moody teenager."

I huffed, loudly, just to annoy him slightly, but he just rolled his eyes.

"Do you have plans?" he asked.

"Huh?" I was too busy righting myself in the torture device – for that's what I'm sure it was – to pay proper attention. "Oh. Yeah. Plans. You know. General Thanksgivingy plans." I lied. I'm not sure why I lied. Maybe I just didn't want him to feel sorry for me. "Dr. Grey-Summers invited me to Westchester." The lies just kept coming. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

Coulson seemed to accept this, and let it drop. I tried to put my foot up on his desk again but, without even looking at me, and without even seeming to move, he had his gun pointed at me.

"Okay, okay. Jeez!" I put my foot down on the floor and made a resolution to buy him a comfier chair for Christmas.

* * *

Thursday morning rolled around and I had planned a full day: Chinese microwave meals and marathonning Firefly in my pyjamas; the start of a new Thanksgiving tradition.

I was interrupted during the pilot episode by a knock on the door. I opened it and was surprised to see Coulson on the other side.

"Get dressed," he ordered. "You have five minutes."

I blinked. "W-wha-?"

"Four minutes, fifty seconds," Coulson barked.

Used to following his orders, I dashed into my bedroom and pulled jeans and a sweater on. I came back into the living room, hopping as I tried to put on my sneakers and walk at the same time.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"You're coming with me to Thanksgiving dinner," he told me, his voice warning me that there would be no arguments.

My mouth dropped open. "B-but..."

He turned and walked down the hallway. I stood still for a second before kicking into gear, grabbing my cell and purse, dashing after him.

Coulson was getting into his car when I reached the street. I noticed there was someone else in the passenger seat, so I got into the back.

Barton glanced at me from the seat next to me.

"You lied about having Thanksgiving plans." He tutted. "Coulson doesn't like that."

I sighed. "I figured."

Romanov snorted from the passenger seat.

* * *

Laura Fisher née Coulson was a slim woman in her thirties with long, dark hair, who was obviously used to her brother bringing strays home for Thanksgiving. She didn't even hesitate when Coulson introduced me; she just pulled me into a hug and introduced me to her husband, Daniel, who grabbed Coulson to show him a new Captain America card he had found. She tried to introduce me to her kids, but said kids had spotted Barton and Romanov.

"Uncle Clint! Auntie Nat!"

Barton was almost bowled over as a small child ran across the room and jumped him.

"Hey, monster!" he greeted, grabbing the kid and swinging him up into his arms.

Romanov had managed to grab the younger girl and was now giving her a hug as she gabbled away to her 'Auntie Nat' about how she had built the tallest tower ever out of Lego.

Laura laughed. "The monster attacking Clint is Cooper. He's five. The chatterbox with Nat is Lila. She's three."

I nodded, smiling. "I gather those two come here often, then?"

Laura nodded. "All the major holidays. Clint's been around since before I had Cooper. Nat followed when he had his first Christmas." She looked at me. "Phil likes to collect people. Not in a bad way," she said, hurriedly. "He just has a knack for finding people who... he can take care of. He's done it his whole life. Practically raised me," she told me.

The kids detached themselves from Barton and Romanov and looked over at me, shyly.

"Guys," their mother said. "This is Bridget; she works with Uncle Phil, like Uncle Clint and Auntie Nat."

The kids seemed to take this in stride and before I knew it, I had a child attached to each arm and they were dragging me to their playroom.

Within an hour, I was covered in glitter, had several felt tip tattoos and had helped build a Lego mansion.

By dinnertime, I was Auntie Bridge.

When it was time to say goodbye, I cried a little. I made promises to come for Christmas and was hugged to within an inch of my life by both children and Laura. I shared a handshake with Daniel.

We got into the car. Barton and I didn't even bother calling shotgun. We weren't willing to fight Romanov over it. As we got strapped in and Coulson turned the engine on, he turned to me.

"Don't lie to me again," he said.

I nodded. "I promise."

* * *

For Christmas, I bought him a comfier chair.

He replaced his own with it.

The torture device remained.

Mocking me.


	5. 0-8-4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fury is having a very long week."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to include more from Incredible Hulk and Iron Man 2 in this, I really did. But I had this vision of how I wanted Thor to go, and it just wouldn't let me do anything with Bridget being involved in those plot-lines. So I am sorry if you wanted to see those story arcs, but as they happen at the same time, Bridget cannot be in 3 places at once! There is some mention, though! So do not be disheartened! Also, Steve appears in the next chapter! Not long to wait!

It was six months after Tony Stark told the world he was Iron Man. I had been in Greenland for two weeks, and I didn't like it. I mean, it was exciting, being a part of the expedition to find Captain America, and I knew we were close. We had found another pilot in this area only around twenty minutes ago, but I knew I was only here because Coulson was here. And Coulson was here because he was the biggest Captain America fanboy on the planet. Seriously.

When I confessed to not knowing an awful lot about Captain America, Coulson proceeded to give me every detail. Even down to inconsequential things like how he was reported to have been able to sleep standing up. I mean, who needs to know that?

But I had developing a cough in the last week, and being in this cold environment was just making it worse. Fury had exiled me to the comms feed because my cough had been getting on his nerves.

I was just about to go and find Fury, with some bad news I had just received when, just then, Coulson and Fury walked into the room, in conversation.

"I need you to be a little less excited," Fury was saying.

Coulson scowled. "I am exactly the appropriate amount of excited. It's just that a glacial shift is a certainty within the next month or so, so it is imperative that we move now-"

"Relax, Coulson," Fury said. "We'll find your favourite action figure, don't worry." He turned to me. "Benson, is everything under control here?"

"You received a call from the World Security Council, sir," I informed him.

Fury nodded. "Schedule a call back tomorrow night."

"Actually, sir," I replied, uneasily. "They already scheduled a call back. In 12 hours. From New York HQ."

Fury frowned. "That won't work. We have another 2-4 weeks work to do here-"

"I know, sir. But they gave an executive order to stand down, pack up and head home. They said that they would explain everything on the call."

Fury was irritable all the while we were packing up.

* * *

Coulson and I waited outside Fury's office, uneasily, waiting for him to finish the call with the WSC.

Fury angrily shoved the door to his office and stomped out.

"That took a while," Coulson commented, falling into step, as did I. "Anything worth repeating?"

"Not in polite company," Fury grumbled.

"So what do we do?" I asked.

"We carry on doing what we were doing, but more discretely," Fury replied. "But we tell them we're doing what they want us to do."

"Is that the best plan of action?" Coulson asked.

Fury sighed. "If it's not, we'll find out the hard way."

I gave a great, hacking cough, just then and Fury stopped, scowling at me. "Benson, go home, rest up and take the rest of the week off. Take care of that cold. If I hear that one more time, I will not be responsible for my actions."

I nodded. "Yes, sir. Thank you."

I nodded to Coulson and left, ready to enjoy my week of recovery.

* * *

Darren was on assignment in South Dakota, but Kate mothered me for the first two days of my mandatory sick leave. She fed me hot honey and lemon and sat me down on the couch with a hot water bottle and a blanket, with Buffy the Vampire Slayer playing on Netflix. At the end of day two, she left on assignment to New Mexico.

By day three, I was climbing the walls. I was so bored. I did everything I could think of to get better. I drank so much orange juice and honey and lemon, I was afraid I'd get a vitamin C overdose. By day four, I was almost completely better and was very grateful to get a call from Coulson.

"I need you in New Mexico," he told me.

"New Mexico?" I asked, surprised. "I thought you'd be going back to Greenland."

"Reassignment. Atmospheric disturbances in New Mexico. Indications of a wormhole opening up. We have an 0-8-4 here, stuck tight in the ground. We can't lift it. We were hoping that you might be able to. We need to get it to the lab."

An 0-8-4 was an object of unknown origin. "I'll be there as soon as I can," I told him. "Text me the co-ordinates."

I grabbed my car keys from the coffee table and headed out the door.

* * *

When I arrived at the facility, chaos reigned. Agents were trying to repair damage and set things to rights after what looked like one hell of a fight.

Barton walked over to me as I got out of my car. "Benson," he greeted. "You missed all the fun!"

I laughed. "So I can see."

He grinned. "You should've seen it. Huge blond guy took out Cage. It was very satisfying to watch."

I groaned. "Aww! I can't believe I missed that!" No one liked Agent Luke Cage. He was a massive dick.

"Well, I was on mandatory sick leave for pissing off Fury with my cold," I told him. "So I'm assuming this is good?"

Barton nodded. "Tell me about it. I was on my first week's vacation since I started working for S.H.I.E.L.D. Fury said alien crash site, though, and I couldn't walk out the door fast enough."

We walked into the makeshift facility together. I caught sight of Kate talking to Sitwell in the corner. She waved at me and I waved back. I followed Barton as he brought me to Coulson, who was standing outside a closed door.

"Still not talking?" Barton asked.

"Not yet," Coulson sighed. He squeezed my shoulder in greeting.

"Guy like that could take a lot of torture before he started talking. That's if you're into torture, which I know you're not," Barton stated, leaning casually against the wall.

Coulson's eyes flicked up to him. "You have an idea?"

"Yeah. Cut him loose."

Coulson was too shocked to reply.

"You want to let him go?" I asked, incredulously. "The man managed to best Cage in a fight and you want to let him loose into the general public?"

Barton nodded, addressing Coulson. "After you shackled him, I saw some chick run back to her car. It was obvious that she'd given him a ride and, once he was captured she wasn't awfully subtle about getting out of here." He shrugged. "I'm just saying. This guy may be a pro, but the guys he's with are not. You want intel; you cut him loose and give him a tail."

Coulson glanced at Coulson, appreciatively. "Not a bad idea."

Not five minutes later, Sitwell popped his head around the corner. "He's got a visitor," he announced.

We all gathered at the front of the facility, where a man introduced himself as Dr Erik Selvig and claimed that the man in our detention room was a colleague of his, Dr Donald Blake.

Coulson kept him talking, while an agent ran this information. I could see the record pop up as falsified while Selvig was claiming the man was on steroids.

"Says here he's an M.D.," Coulson called out, noticing the falsified record too.

Selvig seemed flustered and tried to talk his way out of it all.

Coulson humoured him for another minute, before letting him into the facility, showing him the way to the blond man.

As they both left, Coulson turned to Barton and I. "Follow them," he instructed.

* * *

Surveillance was boring, but Barton made it fun. Because Selvig and the other man had not seen the two of us very clearly, we didn't bother with much more than a change of clothes and hairstyle in terms of disguise. Luckily for us, the men decided to go to a bar and try to out drink the other, where Selvig was far outclassed.

Barton and I played a few games of pool, keeping an eye on our targets, but taking the opportunity to talk, as well.

"You recommended me to Coulson," I began. "Why?"

Barton took the break, potting two balls. "Because I knew you had the potential to be great. You sensed my hit coming, even though you were immersed in your fight with the other cadet. Then, you switched your focus without any issue at all and managed to hold your own against a highly trained and practiced field agent, who had the height and weight advantage as well. You were perceptive enough to know that Natasha and I were in trouble, and that was why we were there. You also aren't afraid to ask questions."

I gaped at him. "You seriously got all of that from an hour of training?"

Barton raised an eyebrow. "I got all of that from the first five minutes of our fight."

* * *

We took it in turns to nap during the night on the roof across from Jane Foster's trailer, so we had some sleep, at least, when Coulson called us early the next morning, telling us that he would send two agents to relieve us, as he needed us at the sight of another anomaly.

We used the car the two agents brought with them and reached the coordinates Coulson gave us only a little after he did.

He was looking at a circular design on the desert floor.

"Get somebody from linguistics up here," he called to Sitwell.

Just then, there is a rumbling, which increased so much it causes several car windscreens to shatter. We all tried to find some cover from the dust that kicked up from the disturbance. A hole in the sky overhead opened, and a funnel cloud exploded out of it, touching down onto the desert floor.

From behind a jeep, Coulson, Barton, Sitwell and I all gaped at the figure that appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. It was reminiscent of the Iron Man, which is probably why Sitwell asked: "Is that one of Stark's?"

"I don't know," Coulson sighed. "The guy never tells me anything."

He took a megaphone from an agent as he walked closer to the... thing.

"Hello! You're using unregistered weapons technology. Please identify yourself," he called.

"Does that ever work?" I murmur to Barton.

Barton chuckled darkly.

The thing hummed and its face panels opened to reveal an inferno.

"Incoming!" Coulson yelled, diving for cover.

It blasted several cars. I did my best to protect the agents, but I couldn't be in several places at once. I did stop a piece of flying debris that was inches away from hitting Barton.

He glanced at me quickly. "Thanks."

I nodded, dragging my attention back to where the thing had been, but it was now gone.

Coulson was applying pressure to a wound on Sitwell's neck. When Kate rushed over, he ordered her to take over.

"I'm fine," Sitwell grumbled. "That thing is heading for downtown. Call for backup."

Coulson nodded. Backup arrived within ten minutes. We spent the next five directing the medics to the most critically injured.

Coulson then called out, "Any field agent able to walk and fire a gun, get in a car and follow me."

Barton, Kate, and I all piled into Coulson's car and we tore off into town.

When we got into town, it seemed like once again, I missed all the action. The thing was lying, beaten and broken on the floor of the main street. The blond man was standing, red cloaked and looking the epitome of Viking warrior, among Jane Foster, Erik Selvig and several other people I did not know.

We approached them. "Donald," Coulson greeted the blond man. "I don't think you've been completely honest with me."

The blond man gave Coulson his full attention. "Know this, son of Coul. You and I, we fight for the same cause - the protection of this world. From this day forward, count me as your ally." He paused. "If you return the items you have taken from Jane Foster."

"Stolen," Jane interrupted.

"Borrowed," Coulson countered. He sighed, addressing Jane. "Of course you can have your equipment back. You're going to need it to continue your research."

* * *

Coulson had fallen asleep in the front seat of the car. Barton and I kept ourselves entertained by playing the license plate game, like the full grownups we were.

When we arrived at the S.H.I.E.L.D. airbase, I poked Coulson repeatedly from the backseat.

"Coulson," I called, still prodding him. He didn't answer. "Hey, Son of Coul!

"Hmm?" he murmured, opening his eyes. "What?"

"We're here," Barton informed him. He parked and unbuckled his seatbelt. "And the next time you call me in, I'd appreciate the opportunity to shoot something," he added.

Coulson yawned. "I'll make a note of it," he told him.

We supervised the loading of the thing – the Destroyer, I learned it was called – onto the jet, and then boarded ourselves.

Coulson called Fury to report that we were on our way back with the thing, and then went to find somewhere to lie down for the rest of the trip.

Barton and I talked for most of the trip home. During the flight, we started referring to each other by our first names. Clint insisted that I start sparring with him in the mornings, to enhance my skill. I joked that he just wanted to make sure that he could still beat me.

* * *

We were only back in New York for about two hours when Coulson received a file from a dark haired woman.

"Where's Fury?" Coulson asked.

The woman grimaced. "Fury is having a very long week. I'm here to pick up some slack." She sighed. "We need Barton on this and you're the only senior agent currently available on site. Take Benson too. She's still green."

I took offence to this, but held my tongue. I could tell this woman was important, if she was handing Coulson orders.

When she left, I gave Clint a questioning gaze. "Deputy Director Hill," he explained. "She spends most of her time on the D.C., but she's assigned to the helicarrier at the moment, so you probably won't have seen her much."

I nodded. I had heard of her. I had spent some time on the helicarrier in the last six months. Most agents did a rotation on it.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Portland," Coulson replied, flipping through the file. "Small terrorist cell. Nothing we can't handle. Two days, max."

I sighed. I hoped that was all, because I was in desperate need of a break, soon.

* * *

The assignment was a piece of cake. We didn't even get too close. Clint proved he was worthy of his Hawkeye call sign by making a near impossible shot to take out the leader of the group.

Coulson was so pleased with how smoothly it had gone that he got us a hotel suite so that we could actually get some sleep before heading back to New York. That brief rooftop nap seemed an age ago now.

I slept like a log for hours, waking up in the middle of the night, needing a drink. I made my way to the fridge, quietly, not wanting to wake either of the men up. As I tiptoed past Coulson's room, I was surprised to hear noises come from inside. I stopped, trying to figure out what was happening.

As soon as it registered what I was hearing, I straightened up, blushing, and went straight back to bed without the drink.

It was worse than accidentally seeing a stranger naked which, until now, was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done.

I had just heard Coulson and Clint having sex.

It was so much worse.

* * *

I tried my best to behave as normal the next day, which, thanks to my training in espionage, I am sure that I managed. The journey back to New York was uneventful and Coulson left me to do the paperwork for our Portland trip while he went to check on something to do with the Destroyer. I did my best to not mention the fact that I had heard my SO and my co-worker having sex while I was supposed to be sleeping in the next room.

When I was on my way to submit it, I ran into Coulson. He looked about ready to faint.

"Coulson?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "They found him," he almost whispered.

"What?" I asked, not understanding.

"Captain America," he elaborated. "They found him. He's alive."


	6. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson was going to be so jealous of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually the first chapter I wrote. When I envisioned my character and who I wanted her to interact with, I knew this was how I wanted her to meet Steve. The thing with Thor's hammer came next, then Coulson being her SO. Then a Winter Soldier moment which I won't get into because of spoilers! ...Just letting you guys know a bit about my writing process...

 

"This isn't going to work."

Kate turned to me. I could tell she was rolling her eyes as she did so. "Oh, ye of little faith," she remarked.

I glanced down the hall at where Fury was standing. I wasn't sure why he had insisted on Captain Rogers waking up this way, but I wasn't in any position to argue. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents followed orders, after all. I just couldn't shift the feeling that something was going to go wrong. Then again, that was why I had been called in, just in case.

Fury had banned Coulson from being here when the Captain woke, which was good because I was half afraid that Coulson would actually pass out from the excitement. I had heard nothing from Coulson but Captain America facts since the man had been found a little over a week ago. I'm glad that the med team had decided to wean him off the sedatives now because if I had to put up with it for much longer, I was afraid that I'd actually just shoot my SO.

When one of the tech guys motioned to us that the Captain was waking up, Kate took a breath and looked to me again. "Wish me luck," she called as she headed towards the illusion that she had been holding for about an hour now. I was glad that the Captain had woken now, because the wear of holding the illusion was beginning to show on Kate's small frame.

She disappeared into the illusion and none of us could see her for about a minute. Suddenly, a red exclamation mark appeared on the outside of the illusion, the agreed signal that something was going wrong. I immediately charged towards the illusion, but was hit by a body that barelled out of the illusion at high speed. The hit winded me, but I quickly managed to gather myself and run after the man. I was the quickest of the agents to gather my wits, but he was a little too far outside my range to catch him in a field.

I heard Kate calling for backup and Fury shouting orders, but I ignored it all to sprint after the retreating figure making his way out of the building. I jumped over several fallen agents and made it outside in time to see the Captain turn left down the street and go around the corner. I slipped down an alley to cut him off on the other side. I exited the shortcut just as he was sprinting by and he was close enough for me to catch him in a bubble.

He was still running so he hit the side of the field with such force that he bounced off and landed in a crumpled heap at the bottom.

I walked up to the bubble and the man looked up at me through the force field with such a lost expression that it just pulled at my heartstrings. I put my hands up to show him that I meant him no harm and parted the field just enough that I could slip in, closing it behind me.

"Captain Rogers," I began, quickly and calmly. "I mean you no harm. I know this is all very confusing, but I'm here to help you. I'm Agent Benson. I work for S.H.I.E.L.D. We're with the US Government. You were found, frozen at the bottom of the Arctic, not too long ago. I don't mean to alarm you, but your plane went down almost 70 years ago."

His eyes widened in shock and he looked down at the bottom of the field for a moment, silently.

I knelt on the floor next to him. "Are you okay?" I probed, cautiously.

"Yeah," he answered, quietly. "Just… I had a date…"

A knock on my force field made me jump. I turned around and saw Director Fury standing there with a pointed expression. Agents were keeping civilians away, behind him. I turned back to the Captain.

"Okay, Captain Rogers," I began. "I have to lower the force field now. Promise me that you won't run again? Because, quite frankly, that last chase tired me out and if I have to do it again, you're going to be buying me coffee and cake as reparation. Deal?"

He laughed quietly and nodded

"Alright," I began. "The man with the eye patch is Director Fury. He wants to talk to you, explain things further. He's my boss, so if you feel the need to tell him just how nice I've been and how I deserve a raise, then you just go ahead." I wait for the nod and chuckle before I lower the force field, stand up and offer my hand to help Captain Rogers up. He takes my hand in a firm grip and pulls himself upright.

I step back and look back to fury. He nods his head. "Thank you, Agent Benson. Please return to HQ for debriefing."

"Yes sir," I answer, nodding. I allow myself a quick glance and a smile at Captain Rogers before heading back to base.

I don't know whether or not I imagined the small returned smile.

* * *

I had just collected my belongings and was on my way out when I literally ran into Captain Rogers again in the corridor. My head bounced off of his hard chest with some force as we rounded the corner in conflicting directions.

"Ow!" I moaned, clutching my forehead.

"I am so sorry, ma'am… Miss Benson… Agent Benson…." he fumbled, then sighed. "I don't seem to be getting the hang of all of this."

I patted his arm comfortingly. "You'll get there, Captain. S.H.I.E.L.D. is letting you go?"

"Not officially," Captain Rogers sighed. "Director Fury says I have a clean bill of health and that I'm to be set up with somewhere to live and I have a load of back pay from the army to live on... But it's just so..."

I nodded. If it were me, waking up in a totally different future, everyone I knew gone, I wouldn't have a clue what to do, where to start.

"Listen," I began. "You're probably not technically allowed and I could get into so much trouble for this, but..." I took a deep breath. "There is a coffee shop out the main entrance and to the left, on the corner. It's called Sal's. I will be there in five minutes. If, somehow, a super-soldier with no knowledge of the last few decades manages to escape S.H.I.E.L.D.'s clutches and wants to know a bit more about the world he is now living in, then a certain S.H.I.E.L.D. agent may just feel obliged to fill him in on some important cultural blanks..."

The Captain smiled slightly and nodded. I returned the smile and, sidestepping his broad frame, continued to exit the building.

Coulson was going to be so jealous of me.

* * *

I had been sitting in the coffee shop, attempting the crossword puzzle in that day's paper, for about ten minutes when someone tall came up to my table, blocking a great deal of the light. I looked up to see the giant form of Captain Rogers, standing there awkwardly.

"Captain," I greeted. "Please, sit." I indicated the chair across from me.

"Thank you, Agent Benson," he murmured, taking the seat.

"Please, it's Bridget," I insisted. "I'm not on duty right now, so we'll desist with the whole 'Agent' stuff for the time being. It makes me feel all stuffy, old and boring, being 'Agent Benson'." It made me feel like Coulson, to be honest. The 'Agent' part was like his whole identity. The more I worked and the older I got, I realised that I didn't want to be defined by my job any more than I wanted to be defined by my powers.

"Then it's Steve," the Captain replied. "Although I feel I reserve the right to feel 'old' right now." He gazed out of the window, where a woman in hot pants and a halter top walked by on her cell phone, crossing paths with a group of teenage boys with headphones around their neck and skateboards under their arms.

I felt so bad for the Captain – Steve, I reminded myself. "Would you like some coffee?" I asked, feeling like I needed something to do before things got too melancholy and awkward.

"I don't have any money yet..." Steve began.

"My treat," I insisted.

It looked for a moment as if he wanted to argue, but his shoulders slumped in defeat a second later.

"What do you want?" I asked.

Steve looked at the menu behind the counter, listing all the drinks on offer, blankly. "...Coffee..?" he ventured.

I laughed. "Okay, one regular coffee, coming right up. Milk? Sugar?"

He shook his head. "I got used to being without, during the war," he explained.

I paid for Steve's drink and ordered myself a gingerbread latte, my personal favourite, grabbing a fistful of sugar packets on the way back to our table.

"So," I started as I sat down. "Is there anything in particular you want to know, or do you just want me to start from the beginning?"

Our drinks arrived as I started to explain the cold war. I had to pause explaining the McCarthy trials when I noticed Steve's eyebrows rise in astonishment as I poured my ninth packet of sugar into my latte.

"Everyone knows these little packets are barely half a real spoonful," I said, defensively.

"You regularly consume that much sugar with your coffee?" he asked, incredulously.

I shrugged. "Using my powers extends quite a lot of energy, which causes my sugar levels to drop quite dramatically, the longer I use them. I tend to try to keep my sugar levels fairly high in case of emergencies. The doctors at S.H.I.E.L.D. hate that I do it. They keep talking about me developing diabetes, but the risk of that and the almost constant hyperactivity is better than being in a situation where my sugar levels are too low, I go into hypoglycaemic shock and someone gets hurt because of it..." I trailed off, uncomfortably.

"Your powers?" Steve inquired. "What you did before, with the force field?"

I nodded. "Yes. I'm a mutant. It's a lot more accepted now than it was back when you were growing up. There was this whole movement in the seventies, but I'll get to that."

I continued with the abbreviated history lesson. Around Martin Luther King, Jr, we decided to get cake. Around Professor Xavier and the mutant movement I ordered another round of coffees. Explaining the Gulf War, then 9/11 and the current conflict in Afghanistan and Iraq was difficult.

Steve absently picked at the laminate that was peeling off of the menu. "You know, we all thought that maybe after the War was over, that would be enough. The world would see the devastation that war had wrought and there would be peace. It didn't last long. They never learn, do they?"

I shook my head. "No. It tends to be a touchy subject. Personally, I think most governments see war as a means to an end. They don't think about the individual people."

We steered away from the subject of war for a while and I started to explain technological and scientific advances.

"Has S.H.I.E.L.D. issued you with a cell phone?" I asked.

Steve shrugged. "They probably will," he replied. "I imagine Fury will want some way to easily contact me."

I grabbed a napkin and wrote my number down. "When they do, this is my number. They should show you how to work it. If not, come find me. I showed my dad how to use a computer when I was ten. I'm sure if I could survive that, I'll survive teaching you how to use a cell phone."

"You haven't talked much about yourself," Steve commented. "What do your parents think about you working for a top-secret government organisation?"

I immediately tensed. "That," I said firmly, "is a conversation for another time." I looked at the clock behind the counter. "It's almost closing time. I should get home. And you should get back to S.H.I.E.L.D. Fury's probably having an aneurysm over your disappearance right about now."

"Probably," Steve admitted.

We both stood up. I grabbed my things and followed Steve to the door. He held open the door for me. I smiled as I passed him. We paused on the sidewalk outside.

"Goodbye... Bridget," Steve said, smiling slightly.

"Goodbye... Steve," I returned.

We turned and left in opposite directions. I hazarded a glance over my shoulder to see his solid form walking back to the S.H.I.E.L.D. building. Almost as if he saw me looking, he turned and waved. I waved back with a grin and continued my walk to the subway.

* * *

If anyone found out about me encouraging Steve's escape from S.H.I.E.L.D. for coffee, cake and a history lesson, no one mentioned it the next day. Kate and Darren both tried to pry out of me what happened when I caught up with Steve on the street after he ran out of the illusion, but I was unusually professional about it, remembering to refer to Steve as 'Captain Rogers', which was more difficult than I thought it was going to be. To my mind, he was now very much 'Steve'.

I was in the middle of filing my report on the happenings of the day before (the ones that occurred before the great coffee escape, obviously), when my cell phone alerted me to a text message from an unknown number.

_Agent Benson_

_I have been supplied with a cell phone and shown the basic features, including how to 'text'._

_However, I find myself confused as to what an 'app' is and wondered whether you would have time to explain about it._

_Sincerely,_

_Steve Rogers_

I laughed aloud at the formal wording and formatting of the text. The man was obviously used to communicating via letters, I supposed. I would have to teach him that texting was more like communicating via telegraph than letter. I texted back straight away, saving his number for future reference.

_Hi Steve. Lunch. 1pm. Sal's? Barring emergency, of course. Bridget x_

I sent the text, only reading it back once it had sent. I felt a mixture of slight horror and amusement.

I had just sent a text to Captain America and automatically put a kiss on the end. My life was so weird right now.


	7. Spontaneous Advancement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There was no random work calls, no annoying 'where are you' texts from my friends and no emergency situations.
> 
> I should have known that wouldn't last."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we get into some Avengers action! Avengers will last several chapters. Prepare for angst in a few chapters' time!
> 
> Also, I'm considering doing some side stories. The plot's moving along fast in this story and I haven't had a lot of time to do character stuff, which I usually love doing. I'm thinking of doing one each for Coulson/Clint, Darren, Kate, Jean Grey, Steve, and Tony, so far. I may wait until I've finished up with Winter Soldier while I wait for Age of Ultron, so at least I'm posting something in the meantime... Let me know what you think and which of these stories you want to see first!

It had been just over a month since Steve had woken up and I began to see him almost every day. At first, we'd make excuses, like, "Oh, I forgot to tell you about this," or "Could you show me how to work this?" We both knew it was bull. Steve began reading everything he could in his spare time and it took him no longer to figure out modern technology than it did most people to dress themselves. This was the man who figured out Hydra technology in less than five minutes, after all. (Thank Coulson for this information.)

By the end of the second week, we just started hanging out because we genuinely enjoyed each others' company. I was sure that Fury and Coulson knew exactly what was going on, but neither of them said anything, although I did catch several side glances and Coulson looked like he was permanently on the verge of saying something and deciding against it, but I let it lie for now. I was happy and I didn't want to upset this tentative balance my life had going on.

For my twenty-fourth birthday, I had refused Kate and Darren's offer of a party, stating that I had to work, but in reality, I planned to spend the day with Steve.

I found him in an old S.H.I.E.L.D. gym, alone. He was going at the bag like there was no tomorrow.

"Hey," I greeted him, grinning.

Steve turned around and grinned back. "Good morning."

"Making sure you're not getting rusty?" I teased. "Because you look a bit out of practice there, Cap."

Steve snorted. "Please. Even out of practice, I'm in better shape than most of these S.H.I.E.L.D. agents."

I straightened up. "Oh no, you didn't," I murmured. "Was that a challenge, Captain Rogers?"

His gaze met mine. "I don't know, Agent Benson," he returned. "Was it?"

* * *

"I take it back," I gasped, flat on my back with Steve's firm thighs straddling my own and my wrists in his vice grip above my head. "You're in good shape. Not rusty at all."

He grinned down at me for a moment, relaxing his grip. I took immediate advantage and rolled us over, scrambling until I was the one straddling him.

"Ha!" I crowed in delight. "I got one over on Captain America. Coulson will be so proud!"

I looked down at Steve, who was beginning to flush pink. It took me a few seconds, but I realised the position we were in and quickly got up.

"Sorry," I apologised. Now I was flushing.

Steve got up and grabbed a towel; wiping his face in what I assumed was an excuse not to look at me in his embarrassment.

I wasn't sure why I felt awkward. I mean, Steve was my friend. We were comfortable with each other to a certain extent. I mean, I can't say I hadn't noticed his – rather fine – physique. And if I had begun to have some not so PG-13 rated dreams... Well, that was between me, my sheets and any god of dreams there might be.

"So, I am going out for my traditional birthday pancake breakfast," I informed Steve. "I came here to invite you so I wouldn't end up getting pitying looks when sit on my own and order a side of pancakes with my syrup."

"It's your birthday?" Steve asked, startled. He dropped the towel and looked at me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't?" I shrugged. "It's not massively important. I don't do much. Just pancakes. Pancakes for birthday breakfast have been tradition since I was four and my mom learned how to make them. When I went to Xavier's school, Dr. Grey-Summers made me pancakes every year. She told me that it's important to do things like that to keep the tradition alive and remember those who can't be there with you that year. I've been going out for them since I moved to the city, because I can't cook for shit."

Steve was quiet and for a moment I thought he was going to refuse to go with me, but when he looked up with a soft smile, I felt relieved.

"Where to?" he asked.

* * *

Steve and I had the best day. We ate so many pancake between us that when we left that I swore we had eaten five people's pancake quotas for a whole year.

We went to the park and I laughed my ass off when a duckling started following Steve around like he was its mother. After shaking the duckling, we saw a movie and went back to Steve's apartment in Brooklyn for pizza.

There was no random work calls, no annoying 'where are you' texts from my friends and no emergency situations.

I should have known that wouldn't last.

* * *

The day after my birthday, I was getting ready to go home when Coulson called me.

"Suit up," he told me. "There's a situation with Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S. I'm already en route. You're on Fury."

I breathed in, harshly. Being 'on Fury' was a big deal. It meant that we were going into an unknown situation where the Director needed protecting at all costs.

In the bigger picture, I knew that Fury's life was worth more than mine. That wasn't me being self-deprecating or anything. It was fact. If it came down to it, I would have to lay down my life so that Fury could keep his.

Being 'on Fury' was like being on Secret Service detail to the President.

"Got it," I confirmed.

* * *

The helicopter landed outside some sort of research facility. I didn't know what Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S. was. I didn't have the clearance for that information. All I knew was that Dr. Selvig had been contracted to work on it and that Clint had been dispatched here two days after we returned from Portland.

Deputy Director Hill jumped out of the helicopter first. I followed her, Fury bringing up the rear. The entire place was in chaos. People were evacuating, rushing about, loading things into black SUVs and getting out of dodge.

Coulson was stood there waiting for us.

"How bad is it?" Fury shouted, over the din.

"That's the thing sir," Coulson began, matching Fury's pace as he walked to the facility. Hill and I followed. "We don't know." We walked into the facility. Technicians and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents scrambled around, gathering essentials and leaving the building.

"Dr. Selvig read an energy surge from the Tesseract four hours ago," Coulson continued.

Fury scowled. "NASA didn't authorize Selvig to test phase."

Coulson shook his head. "He wasn't testing it, he wasn't even in the room. Spontaneous advancement."

"It just turned itself on?" Hill inserted.

When Coulson nodded, Fury asked, "What are the energy levels now?"

"Climbing. When Selvig couldn't shut it down, we ordered the evac."

Fury looked around at the technicians still trying to evacuate. "How long to get everyone out?" he asked.

"Campus should be clear in the next half hour."

Fury grimaced. "Do better."

Coulson nodded, glancing at me quickly before leaving to continue the evacuation procedures.

"Sir," Hill began as we descended some stairs. "Evacuation may be futile."

"I know that," Fury answered, evenly. "What, do you want me to tell everybody to go back to sleep?"

"I'm just saying," Hill continued. "If we can't control the Tesseract's energy, there may not be a minimum safe distance." She glanced sideways at me and I understood the reason for my presence. This Tesseract, whatever that was, may need containing and I may be the last ditch effort to do so.

We reached the bottom of the stairs. I was so busy thinking about the situation that I missed what Fury asked of Hill, but she gathered waiting agents from the room and walked briskly out of a side door while I followed Fury into the next room.

"Sir," I asked, spotting Clint on the railings above us. "Am I okay to get a sitrep from Agent Barton?"

Fury nodded. "Do it. Quick." He turned to Selvig, who was busying himself with machinery across the room. "Talk to me, Doctor," he called.

To save time, I wrapped a forcefield around my body and lifted myself up to the railings.

"I'll never get bored of seeing that," Clint remarked once I landed.

"Well," I countered, sitting myself down next to him, dangling my legs over the platform edge, glad that my fear of heights had gotten better since the discovery of my powers. "You know I only do it for your amusement."

He grinned.

"So what's the sitrep?" I asked. "Has it been interesting enough to make up for missing out on that sparring you promised me?"

Clint shrugged. "Selvig's boring and has no friends," he claimed. "There's been no contact. No emails, phone calls, IMs, nothing. So there's been no tampering from this end that I can discover."

Fury's voice came from over the comms, requesting both of us down on the floor. I brought us both back to the ground quickly and Clint repeated what he had told me to Fury.

"Like I said to Benson, sir," Clint went on. "If there was any tampering, it wasn't done at this end."

"At this end?" Fury questioned.

Clint shrugged. "The cube's a doorway right? Doors open from both sides."

There was a rumbling and the Tesseract started pulsing more, spurting out bursts of energy, getting bigger and bigger.

"Benson..." Fury began.

"On it."

I created a forcefield around the Tesseract, but the Tesseract did not like that one bit. It started fighting against the field and I knew right away that I was fighting a losing battle.

"Sir, I can't hold it!" I shouted, straining. I was starting to feel lightheaded, but I needed my hands to direct the field. "Clint," I ordered. "Glucose. Right pocket. Now." It was no time for niceties. I needed to get some sugar in me as quick as possible. Clint sprung into action as Fury replied.

"Come on, Benson. Hold on. Selvig!" he called. "Can't you do something?"

Clint popped several glucose tablets into my mouth and, after several seconds, I could feel them beginning to work. With renewed strength, I pushed the Tesseract harder, trying to force its energy back on itself. Unfortunately, the Tesseract had other plans and with a mighty push, the energy burst out, overloading my field and knocking me out cold.

* * *

I woke up with a sweet taste in my mouth and a disoriented feeling. It took me a few seconds to realise that some glucose tablets had been shoved in my mouth and someone had me in a fireman's lift and was running with me. It took a glance at the long leather jacket I was resting on to realise that it was Fury who was carrying me.

"Sir?" I mumbled.

"Glad to have you with us, Benson," Fury bit out, taking a sharp corner as something came flying towards us from the opposite direction. "Think you can walk?" he asked.

"Yeah," I grunted.

Fury set me down and, though my legs felt like they were made of jell-o at first, I soon was running fast enough to keep up.

We made it to the roof, jumping onto the waiting helicopter just as the roof collapsed from under us.

Fury and I lay panting on the floor of the helicopter. I tried to get my breath back as I looked to my boss.

"What the hell happened?" I asked.

* * *

I sought out Coulson straight after medical cleared me. I texted Steve to let him know that I would be by to see him when I was done; I wanted a Steve hug after today.

Coulson's face upon being informed that Barton had been compromised was not something I ever wanted to see again. It was only a split second, before he schooled his features and went about his job like a good agent, but I could tell; the news had broken him a little.

He was sat at his desk, staring at his phone, blankly. When he noticed me there, he seemed to collect himself.

"What can I do for you, Agent Benson?" he asked, professionally.

"Cut the shit, Coulson," I said, startling him. I walked around his desk to lean against the other side. "I know about you and Clint."

He looked at me, shocked. "How-?"

"Super secret government agents should be more discrete in Portland hotel rooms," I told him.

Coulson snorted, rubbing his hands down his face. "Why did you not say anything?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Figured it was your business. Why did you not say anything about the fact you know I've become friends with Steve Rogers?"

"Figured it was your business," Coulson echoed, smiling softly.

"So," I said to him. "I just want you to know, that with me, right now, you don't have to pretend that everything's okay. Your partner has been brainwashed and kidnapped by an alien from another world. It's okay to take a minute to fall apart, you know."

Coulson leant forward and rested his forehead against my side.

"Thanks," he said, softly.

I ran a hand through his thinning hair a few times while his shoulders trembled. After about a minute, he pulled himself up and rubbed his face with both hands. He looked up at me, gratefully, before sighing and looking down at his phone.

"I have to call Romanov and tell her," he told me.

"Shit. Do you want me to..?"

He shook his head. "No. Has to be me. Then I'm going to Stark. Fury's activating the Avengers Initiative." He paused. "So I would advise you to go enjoy one last night of freedom with Captain Rogers while you can," he said.

* * *

I took the steps down to the gym two at a time, calling out "Steve, I need a hug and ice cream in that order..."

I trailed off when I saw that Steve was not alone.

"Agent Benson," Fury greeted me, coolly.

"Director Fury," I replied, glancing at Steve.

Fury turned back to Steve. "There will be a debriefing packet waiting for you at your apartment." Steve nodded.

"You and Coulson will be the Captain's escort to the Helicarrier," Fury informed me. He then turned to leave. He made it to the bottom of the stairs before turning back. "Is there anything else about the Tesseract that we should know?" he asked.

Steve glanced at him evenly. "You should have left it in the ocean."

Fury left and I glanced at Steve. He looked tense. I didn't move, letting him get his bearings back.

"You okay?" Steve asked, focussing on me.

I opened my mouth to say 'yeah', on autopilot, but the word got stuck in my throat. Instead, I shook my head softly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as Steve crossed the room in a few long strides and his arms enveloped me. I had been hugged by Steve a few times now and it always made me feel secure, like no one could hurt me.

"One of my friends. Agent Barton," I began. "It'll be in your debrief. He was compromised. We don't know what's happening or whether he'll be okay, but..." I trailed off, scrunching my face into Steve's hard chest. He rubbed his fingers up and down my back, reassuringly. He didn't have to say anything.


	8. Helicarrier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Anyone else got a bad feeling about allowing the two of them to do any sort of Science together?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this chapter relies heavily on text from The Avengers. It was unavoidable if I wanted to keep to canon. I hope you'll forgive me!

I picked Steve up on the way to HQ so that we could get there together. Coulson was waiting for us, looking unruffled and well put together. He was in full agent emergency mode.

"Benson. Captain," he greeted. "Shall we?"

When we settled onto the jet, Coulson and I began to inform Steve about the rest of the members of the Avengers initiative, using a tablet to show him clips. He was just watching the clips of the Hulk's destruction of Culver University when the pilot announced that we were forty minutes out from the base.

"So, this Dr. Banner was trying to replicate the serum they used on me?" Steve asked, looking up from the tablet.

"A lot of people were," I told him. "Banner's probably the person that came the closest that we know of. He thought the secret laid in gamma radiation."

"Didn't really go his way, though, did it?" Steve commented, watching the Hulk destroy a tank.

"Not so much," Coulson replied. "When he's not..." he gestured to the video clip showing the Hulk. "The guy's pretty much a Stephen Hawking."

Steve blinked, turning to me with a questioning look.

"A really smart guy," I translated.

Steve nodded, pausing the video.

"I've gotta say, it's an honor to meet you, officially," Coulson told Steve. "I watched you while you were sleeping."

I choked on my laugh, trying to cover it with a cough.

"I mean," Coulson corrected himself, glaring at me. "I was present when you were unconscious from the ice. It's just a huge honor to have you on board."

"I just hope that I'm the man for the job," Steve murmured.

"'Course you are," I admonished. "Stop putting yourself down. You proved yesterday that you're not rusty. You've still got it."

"Oh, um," Coulson interrupted. "We've also made some modifications to the uniform. I had a little design input."

I looked at him incredulously. "You had design input? You think a fashion statement is wearing a differently colored tie."

Coulson scowled at me.

* * *

We set down on the Helicarrier's landing strip and quickly exited the jet. Romanov was waiting for us and Coulson introduced Steve to her.

"Ma'am," Steve said, politely.

"Hi," Romanov replied. She turned to me. "Benson."

"Romanov," I nodded back. I didn't really know her too well, but I knew what she was capable of and respected her for it. I also knew that she and Clint were very close and that she had to be as scared for him as Coulson and I were.

"They need you on the bridge," Romanov told Coulson. He nodded.

"See you there," he called, walking away.

"There was quite the buzz around here when you were found in the ice," Romanov remarked to Steve. "I thought Coulson was gonna swoon."

I laughed. "So did I," I told her. "I have a bet on with myself on how long it takes until he asks Steve to sign his Captain America trading cards."

Steve looked confused. "Trading cards?"

"They're vintage," Romanov supplied.

"He's very proud," I said.

I noticed someone walking towards us and realized that it is Dr. Banner. The man looked nervous as hell and people had to continually move out of his way when he just didn't seem to notice them.

"Dr. Banner," Steve called, having obviously also recognized the man. He stepped forward to shake the doctor's hand.

"Oh," Banner replied, nervously. "Yeah. Hi. They told me you'd be coming."

Steve nodded. "Word is you can find the cube."

Banner looked at Steve, reservedly, pausing for a second. "Is that the only word on me?" he asked.

"Only one I care about," Steve replied.

I had to hold back a smile. That was my Steve; nonjudgmental and accepting to the last.

The thought made me freeze.  _My_ Steve? Where the hell had that come from?

While I had my quick freak out, the helicarrier started to shake as the engines kicked in.

"Gentlemen," Romanov prompted. "You may wanna step inside in a minute. It's going to get a little hard to breathe."

* * *

Romanov and I brought Steve and Banner to the bridge quickly, the two of them trying to take in their surroundings slowly.

"Gentlemen," Fury greeted them, once he noticed their presence. "Thank you, Agent Benson." He turned to Banner. "Doctor, thank you for coming."

Banner looked at him warily. "Thanks for asking nicely. So, uh... how long am I staying?"

Fury straightened up. "Once we get our hands on the Tesseract, you're in the clear."

"And where are you with that?" Banner asked.

Fury turns to Coulson to explain. Romanov stiffens slightly beside me and I glance over at what caught her attention. When I saw the image of Clint Barton on a computer screen across the bridge, I felt my anger bubbling up. Loki sure had a lot to answer for.

"That's still not gonna find them in time," Romanov spoke up, snapping me out of my trance.

They spoke with Banner for a little while longer, talking about science stuff that I didn't really understand. Science was not my thing. My thing generally involved heavy lifting, projectiles, and combustibles.

Romanov took Banner to the lab and Fury excused himself, leaving me with Steve and Coulson.

There was a long, awkward silence. Coulson kept glancing over at Steve, half as if he expected him to disappear if he looked away for too long.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and decided to have a little fun.

"Hey, Coulson," I began, cheerily. "Romanov and I were just telling Steve about your trading cards. I bet if you asked him nicely, he'd even sign them for you!"

"Bridget-"

"Benson-"

The warning tones in their voices harmonized nicely and I grinned unapologetically at the pair of them as they glanced at each other.

"I'm sure the Captain has better things to do…" Coulson trailed off.

Steve sighed. "No… I mean… I wouldn't mind…"

"If it's not too much trouble…" Coulson replied.

"No. No. It's fine."

I rolled my eyes. The two men were just too polite for words.

"It's a vintage set," Coulson said, proudly. "It took me a couple of years to collect them all. Near mint, slight foxing around the edges, but..."

"We got a hit!" a voice called across the room. I looked over to see that it was Sitwell. That meant that Kate had to be around somewhere, as well. "Sixty-seven percent match. Wait… cross match, seventy-nine percent," he continued as we approached.

"Location?" Coulson asked.

"Stuttgart, Germany. 28, Konigstrasse," Sitwell told us. "He's not exactly hiding."

"Captain," Fury called from the level above, causing us to look up sharply. "You're up."

* * *

Romanov piloted the jet. I argued with her over it, but lost when she pointed out that my concentration might be needed elsewhere. Thus, I sat, pouting, in one of the passengers' seats with Steve.

I was having a hard time concentrating from there, too. Steve, normally, was a distraction enough, but Steve in full Captain America gear?

_God bless Coulson_ , I thought, as I subtly checked out Steve's figure, revealed through the skin tight uniform. I took back what I said about Coulson's fashion sense. That man deserved a medal.

We dropped Steve off a short, discrete, distance away from where Loki was, so that he could approach more subtly. While we waited, watching the monitors, Romanov spoke.

"Clint spoke about you," she said.

I turned to her in surprise. "He did?"

She nodded, not taking her eyes off the screen. "You're very much alike, you and him," she commented. "Probably why you get along so well."

I took in this information. "You seem close," I remarked, not sure if I was overstepping.

Romanov's eyes dropped, before boring into the monitor once more. "I owe that man more than I can ever repay."

There was a moments silence before she spoke again. "Here we go."

I glanced at the screen to see Steve standing in the crowd, between an elderly man and Loki, in full Asgardian battle wear. We got there within seconds and Romanov spoke over the PA.

"Loki, drop the weapon and stand down."

Loki did not seem to appreciate this. He sent a bolt of energy at us, which Romanov had to quickly dodge. When we righted again I could see Steve fighting with Loki.

"Drop me," I instructed Romanov.

"Oh hell no," she replied. "I know what happened at NASA. I am not going to explain to Coulson why I had to scrape up bits of you from a German sidewalk when Loki overloads you again."

"That wasn't Loki! That was the Tesseract!" I argued.

"And what if he has it on him?" she argued back.

Suddenly, AC/DC's 'Shoot to Thrill' blared out of the speaker system.

"Hey, Agent Romanov, Agent Benson," Tony Stark's voice greeted. "Miss me?"

We look back to the action to see Iron Man land in front of Loki, aiming his weapons at him steadily.

"If I started a "Tony Stark is a Gigantic Douche, Even When He's Doing Good" club, would you join?" I asked Romanov.

"We'd have to come up with a shorter name," she replied.

"Dude, we work for the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division," I pointed out.

"We'd have to come up with a better acronym," she amended.

* * *

"Said anything?" Fury spoke over our comms.

"Not a word," Romanov replied, glancing back at our Asgardian prisoner, who was under Steve and Stark's watchful eyes.

"Just get him here," Fury went on. "We're getting low on time."

I glanced at the sky, full of dark clouds. They looked kind of ominous.

I could hear Steve and Stark bickering in the back and was just about to turn around and tell them to stop when lightning nearly hits the jet, thunder rumbling almost simultaneously.

"Where's this coming from?" Romanov grumbled as thunder rumbled overhead. Loki stared out the window intently.

"What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?" Steve asked him.

"I'm not overly fond of what follows," he returned.

Before any of us could think, the door was ripped open; a figure grabbed Loki and disappeared.

"Now there's that guy," Stark commented, putting his helmet back on.

"Another Asgardian?" I asked. I didn't see his face.

"Think the guy's a friendly?" Steve asked.

"Doesn't matter," Tony replied. "If he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract's lost." He turned and prepared to jump off the jet to chase after the pair.

"Stark, we need a plan of attack!" Steve insisted.

Stark looked back. "I have a plan. Attack." He jumped out of the jet.

Steve grabbed a parachute, putting it on quickly.

"I'd sit this one out, Cap," Romanov warned.

"I don't see how I can," Steve replied, adjusting the straps.

"These guys come from legends, they're basically gods," she told him.

Steve glanced towards us. "There's only one God, ma'am. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that." He turned to the door.

"Steve!" I couldn't help myself. It just came out. He looked over to me. "Don't die," I finished. He smiled slightly, nodding, before following Stark off of the plane.

* * *

The flight back to the Helicarrier was a tense one. Thor sat next to Loki, who looked like a petulant teenager next to his larger brother.

"It's nice to meet you again," I told Thor.

Thor looked at me. "Indeed," he murmured. "I hope you have been well, Daughter of Ben."

Stark choked on a laugh from the other side of Loki. I shot him a Look.

"It's Ben _son_ ," I told Thor.

He looked confused. "But that is a name for a man…" he began.

"Nowadays we use the same family name for all members of the family, regardless of gender," I informed him.

"Ah." Thor seemed to chew this over. "So if you were to have a daughter, she would also be Benson?" he asked.

I nodded. "Well, unless I chose to give her her father's name," I informed him. "That is usually the case. And women usually choose to take the family name of their husbands when they marry."

Thor looked slightly confused, so I chose to give him an example.

"Say I married Captain Rogers," I said, gesturing to Steve who was sitting next to me. "I would choose to take his name and become Agent Rogers instead of Agent Benson, and any children we have would have the family name of Rogers." I looked to Steve whose eyebrows were raised in slight shock. "What? I'm a traditionalist."

"We're coming in for a landing," Romanov interrupted us.

* * *

We watched Fury confront Loki on monitors from the conference table on the upper bridge level. Steve, Romanov and I watched from our seats around the conference table. Banner paced while watching. Thor didn't watch; he just listened.

"He really grows on you, doesn't he?" Banner said, sardonically.

"Loki's gonna drag this out," Steve sighed from his seat at the table. "So, Thor, what's his play?"

"He has an army called the Chitauri," Thor began, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he spoke. "They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract."

I saw Hill approach while Thor was speaking. She folded her arms, and stood watching.

"An army? From outer space?" Steve stated.

"I wish I could say that was the craziest thing that's happened in the last seventy years," I told him. "But that would probably be a lie."

"So he's building another portal," Banner said half to himself. "That's what he needs Erik Selvig for."

"Selvig?" Thor questioned, alarmed. Crap. I had forgotten to inform Thor about that.

"He's an astrophysicist," Banner said.

"He's a friend," Thor informed him.

"Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours," Romanov said, leaning forward.

My head dropped as I thought about Clint and I saw Steve look at me, concernedly from the corner of my eye.

"I wanna know why Loki let us take him," he said, rubbing his fingers over his head. "He's not leading an army from here."

"I don't think we should be focusing on Loki," Banner reasoned. "That guy's brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him."

I stifled my snort at the description when Thor stiffened, pointing at Banner. "Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he's my brother."

"He killed eighty people in two days," Romanov deadpanned.

"He's adopted?"

Banner changed the subject, thankfully. "Iridium. What do they need the Iridium for?" he asked.

"It's a stabilizing agent," came Stark's voice.

We all looked over to see him approaching from the corridor, flanked by Coulson. He murmured something to Coulson we couldn't hear before continuing. "It means the portal won't collapse in on itself like it did before."

I remembered the devastation the first portal created at NASA. Stabilizing seemed like the best course of action for them to take.

"Also," he continued , stepping up to the main part of the bridge, where Fury held command, "It means the portal can open as wide and stay open as long as Loki wants." Stark addressed the crew around him casually. "Uh, raise the mid-mast, ship the top sails." He paused. "That man is playing Galaga." He pointed at the offending Agent. I saw Steve look over, curiously. "Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did." He adjusted his jacket as he stood at the station. He then paused, looking at the screens on his right and left. He put his hand over his left eye and then turns to Hill. "How does Fury even see these?"

"He turns," she stated.

"Sounds exhausting," he replied. He messed around with the monitors while he spoke. "The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube."

"When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?" I asked. That wasn't in the list of degrees Stark had that I remembered from my briefing packet on him last year.

"Last night. The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers." We all looked at him blankly. "Am I the only one who did the reading?"

Steve leant forward. "Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?"

"He's got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier," Banner explained.

Stark nodded. "Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect."

Banner started pacing again. "Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet."

"Finally, someone who speaks English!" Stark exclaimed.

Steve looked between the two of them, before turning to me. "Is that what just happened?"

"I don't know what that was," I admitted. "But I'm not sure it was an Earth language."

Stark reached out to shake Banner's hand. "It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. You're work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster."

Banner took Stark's hand, gingerly. "Thanks."

"Dr. Banner is only here," Fury began, entering the Bridge, "to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him."

"Let's start with that stick of his," Steve suggested. "It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon."

Fury shrugged "I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys."

"Monkeys? I do not understand," Thor frowned.

"I do!" Steve exclaimed, excitedly. He then glanced at me, apologetically. "I understood that reference."

Stark rolled his eyes, turning to Banner. "Shall we play, doctor?"

"Let's play some," he agreed.

I watched them, warily. "Anyone else got a bad feeling about allowing the two of them to do any sort of Science together?"


	9. Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re illegally hacking into a government agency’s servers whilst being a guest of said government agency,” I pointed out. “I don’t think you can lecture me on being rude.”

I saw Steve walk out of the lab, the look on his face equal parts irritated and thinking, just as I was about to enter.

"Hey," I greeted. "You okay?"

He huffed. "Tony Stark is one of the most infuriating men I have ever met in my life, and I knew his father."

I sighed. "What did he do?" I felt like Stark was an errant child I had to go scold for not playing nice with the other kids.

"Nothing." Steve looked away. He then hesitated. "You should probably know that he's hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D. right now."

I groaned. "I swear... I will put that man in a time out." I looked to the door of the lab. "I should probably go sort this out."

Steve nodded. "Sure. I have... things to do."

"Okay," I replied, curiously. "Oh and, by the way," I spoke, turning around as he started walking away. "If you wanna join mine and Romanov's 'Tony Stark is a Gigantic Douche' club, there is a Treasurer position available."

"Better make it Secretary," he called over his shoulder. "I'm no good with numbers."

I laughed as I walked towards the lab door, activating my comm and telling Fury what Steve had told me.

The door opened and Stark and Banner both looked up when I came in. I folded my arms across my chest and looked at Stark, eyebrow raised.

"Oh man," he said, exchanging glances with Banner. "Rogers told Mom on us. That's it. We're not inviting him to play no more."

I frowned. "Why am I the mom in this scenario?"

"Reasons," Stark said, flippantly, turning back to the screen. "Blueberry?" he asked, offering them to me without looking away from the monitor.

"Ooh!" I grabbed the whole bag and hoisted myself up on the table, sitting cross legged on top of it.

"Hey!" Stark complained. "Rude!"

"You're illegally hacking into a government agency's servers whilst being a guest of said government agency," I pointed out. "I don't think you can lecture me on being rude."

Banner chuckled and Stark huffed. "I liked you better when you were all professional and less talk-backy." He looks around. "Where's Agent, anyway? I thought the two of you were attached at the hip."

"Coulson? He's my SO. I'm nearing the end of my training period, though, so I've been given more freedom lately. Few more months and I might be given my own missions to run." I looked forward to this.

"Ooh," Stark deadpanned. "Exciting." He messed with the screen a little, before looking at me. "Why are you just sitting there, anyway?" he asked. "I thought you were an Agent. Shouldn't you be stopping me hacking into the servers or something?"

I shrugged. "I know nothing about technology, other than how to point and shoot with it. I may cause something to break or accidentally upload a virus or something." Stark raised an eyebrow. "That's my story and I'm sticking to it," I said, defensively.

"Uh-huh." Stark messed with the computers again. "What's with you and the Capsicle, anyway?"

"Capsicle?" I asked, popping another few blueberries in my mouth.

"Part Captain, part Popsicle. Capsicle." Stark grinned to himself.

I rolled my eyes. "Steve's a friend. He woke up in the future with no one. I didn't want him to be alone. We started hanging out. I taught him some history, he bought me some cake. It was the start of a beautiful friendship. I…" I trailed off. "I seriously think of him as my best friend right now."

Stark shared a glance with Banner. "Are you sure that's all he is?"

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you mean?" I asked, not sure I was going to like the answer.

Stark shrugged, switching places with Banner as he came over and strolled over to a different monitor, tapping away at the screen.

"You're just very cozy is all," Stark commented. "And when you mentioned being hypothetically married to him, Rogers almost choked on his own tongue. I bet he's off somewhere now naming all of your hypothetical children."

I rolled my eyes, but I could feel my cheeks burn. "Don't be ridiculous, Stark."

"Hey, I just call 'em as I see 'em," Stark replied, nonchalantly.

I was about to retort when Fury walked into the lab.

"What are you doing, Mr. Stark?" he demanded.

"Uh...kind of been wondering the same thing about you," Stark replied.

"You're supposed to be locating the Tesseract," Fury pointed out. He turned to me. "And what are you doing, Benson?"

"Umm…" I began, uncomfortably. "Supervising?"

Luckily, I was saved when Banner interrupted.

"We are looking for the Tesseract," he informed Fury, gesturing to one of the monitors. "The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile."

"And you'll get your cube back. No muss, no fuss," Stark added. Something then popped up on his screen. "Umm… What is Phase Two?"

I frowned. I'd only heard about Phase Two very briefly when Fury and Hill were talking at the NASA facility. It was important enough that he wanted her to make sure that they got out of the building. But it wasn't my place to ask. I didn't have the clearance level to know.

Suddenly Steve burst in and threw a weapon down on the table.

"Phase Two is S.H.I.E.L.D. uses the cube to make weapons," he stated, angrily. He turned to Stark. "Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow."

Fury glared at Steve. "Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we're..."

"I'm sorry, Nick," Stark interrupted, moving the computer screen towards Fury. On the monitor were various plans for weapons. "What were you saying?"

Steve looked to me. "Did you know about this?" he asked, accusingly.

I blinked, startled. "Of course not!"

At that moment, Thor and Romanov walked into the lab. Romanov kept her eyes right on Banner. Banner looks at her, pissed.

"And you?" he accused. "Did you know about this?"

Romanov crossed her arms. "You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?"

"I was in Calcutta," he pointed out. "I was pretty well removed. But I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction."

Fury pointed at Thor. "Because of him."

"Me?" Thor asked, stunned.

Fury started pacing. I became painfully aware that I was still sitting cross-legged on the table with my hand in a bag of blueberries. This seemed highly inappropriate for the time, so I took my hand out of the bag wiped it on my pants, and got up off the table.

"Last year," Fury began. "Earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned."

Thor looked confused. "My people want nothing but peace with your planet."

Fury started him down. "But you're not the only people out there, are you? And, you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, they can't be controlled."

Steve scoffed. "Like you controlled the cube?"

Thor stepped towards Fury. "You're work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies. It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war."

"A higher form?" I asked, alarmed.

"You forced our hand," Fury argued. "We had to come up with something."

"A nuclear deterrent," Stark cut him off. "'Cause that always calms everything right down."

Then, everyone started to talk over each other.

"Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?"

"I'm sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep..."

"Wait! Wait! Hold on! How is this now about me?"

"I'm sorry, isn't everything?"

"It's like working with children, I swear to God!"

"I thought humans were more evolved than this."

"Excuse me, did WE come to YOUR planet and blow stuff up?"

"What is it about me that bothers you?"

"Did you always give your champions such mistrust?"

"Are you all really that naïve? S.H.I.E.L.D monitors potential threats."

"Captain America is on the threat potential watch list?"

"We all are."

"You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees?"

"I swear to God, Stark, one more crack..."

"Threatening! I feel threatened!"

"Show some respect!"

"You speak of control, yet you court chaos."

Banner crossed his arms. "It's his M.O., isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're... we're a time-bomb."

"You need to step away," Fury warned.

Stark put his arm around Steve. "Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?" he asked, stubbornly.

Steve pushed Stark off, angrily. "You know damn well why! Back off!"

Stark turned to face Steve, sizing him up. "Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me."

Steve stepped closer to Stark, looking down the end of his nose at the shorter man. "Big man in a suit of armor," he said, mockingly. "Take that off, what are you?"

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist," Stark said, without missing a beat.

I met Romanov's gaze. She shrugged, as if to say,  _eh, he's got a point._

Steve continued to stare Stark down. "I know guys with none of that worth ten of you." He cocked his head. "Yeah, I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you."

"I think I would just cut the wire," Stark responded.

Steve smiled, humorlessly. I hadn't really seen this side of Steve before. "Always a way out..." he mocked. "You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero."

This must have touched a nerve. Stark looked rattled. "A hero? Like you?" he spat. "You're a lab rat, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!"

At this point, I had had enough.

"Okay, now you need to back off!" I ordered, pushing my way between the two of them.

"Stay out of this, Benson," Stark bit out. "This has nothing to do with you."

"You need to be taken down a peg or five, Stark," I growled. "The media may think you're special, but we all know that, deep down, you're just another high functioning alcoholic with Daddy issues the size of Long Island. You just had the luck to be born Tony Stark and you think that makes you better than anyone else, but, newsflash! It doesn't! Steve is a better man than you could ever hope to be and that eats you up doesn't it? Knowing that you could never hope to live up to the man that your father idolized."

Stark angrily stepped towards me, but Steve was in front of me in a flash.

"Oh no you don't," he warned. "Put on the suit, let's go a few rounds."

Stark narrowed his eyes. "Protecting your girlfriend, Captain?" His eyes flicked between the two of us. "How White Knight."

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked, defensively.

Stark scoffed. "Please," he began. "You're fooling no one. How long did it take before you started screwing?" He looked at me. "Was he defrosted for a whole twenty four hours or did you make sure he knew who the President was first?"

Steve was seething with anger, and I wasn't far behind him.

Thor laughed. "You people are so petty... and tiny."

"Yeah," Banner said, sarcastically. "This is a team…"

Fury looked at Banner, warily. "Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his..."

"Where?" Banner interrupted. "You rented my room."

"The cell was just in case..."

"In case you needed to kill me, but you can't! I know! I tried!"

The room fell silent. We all looked at Banner, who looked Fury in the eye for a few moments, before looking down. "I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out." He looked up at us again, getting more and more upset as he continued. "So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk!"

Banner looked Romanov in the eye. The assassin looked unnerved, which was rather impressive, for her. "You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanov?" Banner asked. "You wanna know how I stay calm?"

As he spoke, his hand reached back and picked up the scepter from the table behind him. As one, Fury, Romanov, and I all slowly reached for our guns.

"Doctor Banner..." Steve began, calmly. "Put down the scepter."

Banner looked down at the scepter in his hand as if he had no idea how it got there. Just then, the computer beeped, indicating the Tesseract had been located.

"Got it," Stark commented.

Banner put down the scepter and walked over to the computer.

"Sorry, kids," he said. "You don't get to see my little party trick after all."

Romanov and I stepped closer to Banner by silent agreement. We weren't entirely convinced that Banner was emotionally stable and we were the most likely to calm him down if an incident occurred.

Thor looked around. "You have located the Tesseract?"

"I can get there faster," said Stark.

Steve narrowed his eyes. "Look, all of us..."

Thor interrupted him. "The Tesseract belongs on Asgard; no human is a match for it."

Stark turned to leave, but Steve stopped him. "You're not going alone!"

Stark tilted his head, looking at Steve, challengingly. "You gonna stop me?"

"Put on the suit," Steve replied. "Let's find out."

"I'm not afraid to hit an old man," Stark commented.

"Put on the suit." At this point, Steve and Stark were almost nose to nose, even with the height difference.

At that moment, Banner stiffened, looking at the monitor. "Oh, my God!"

There is an explosion. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to react. The floor crumples underneath us and Banner, Romanov, and I were plunged into the floor below.

The breath is knocked out of me as I hit the floor and I see dark spots cover my vision for a few moments. I groan for a few moments as I try to sit up, my back protesting against the movement. I see Romanov across from me, lying on her stomach. Her head comes up to meet my gaze, pain briefly settling across her features. As my vision cleared, I recognized that we had landed in the equipment room.

"Romanov! Benson!" Fury's voice calls in my ear.

"We're okay!" Romanov and I both spoke at the same time.

Just then, there was a groan and we looked over to see Banner writhing in pain. His head turned towards us and we saw that his eyes had turned green.

"We're okay, right?" I asked Romanov, beginning to panic.

Romanov started to struggle and I saw that her leg was trapped under some pipe that had fallen on top of her.

"Doctor... Bruce, you gotta fight it," she said, soothingly. I wrapped a field around the pipe and slowly lifted it off of her leg, trying not to cause any damage, either to her leg or to the structure of the space we were in. "This is just what Loki wants," she continued. "We're gonna be okay. Listen to me."

Two agents came around the corner, probably looking to help but that did not seem like the best idea at that moment, so I frantically waved them away as Romanov continued to speak cautiously to Banner.

"We're gonna be okay. Right? I swear on my life I will get you out of this, you will walk away and never..."

"Your life?" Banner spat, bitter amusement, laced with a threatening undertone.

Another explosion rocked the Helicarrier and that seemed to tip the iceberg. Banner turned his face towards us as he transformed.

"Bruce?" Romanov pleaded as Banner – The Hulk – stumbled off to the side and punched something metal that I hoped wasn't important.

Romanov and I both scrambled to our feet, not daring to take our eyes off the Hulk. He turned to look at us with a sneer and, without a word, we both dashed for the stairs behind us. I got there first and sprinted up, taking them two at a time as the Hulk started dashing towards us. I had just reached the top as the Hulk pulled the stairs out from under us. I turned, ready to catch Romanov, but she didn't need it, I noticed, as she jumped for the railing and swung herself up.

We didn't have time to catch our breath. We ran across the walkway as fast as we could, the Hulk trying to pull the floor from under us as we ran. Romanov jumped over another railing and ducked under a pipe and I followed, trusting her self-preservation instincts.

We found ourselves in some sort of maze of pipes, electrical stuff and… other electrical stuff. It looked like what I imagined the inside of Stark's head was like.

We couldn't hear the Hulk anymore, but we knew better than to think we had lost him. Romanov turned to me and held a finger to her lips. I nodded to show that I understood and we crept, silently, using the metal contraptions everywhere for cover.

We heard heavy footsteps and we simultaneously drew our guns. I could see the sheen of sweat across Romanov's face as the light caught her and knew I must look similarly.

We got to our feet as silently as we could and made for the exit, firearms at the ready.

Hulk surprised us by roaring less than three feet away and I was shocked that something that big could be quiet enough to surprise two highly trained agents, one of them being Romanov.

Romanov took a shot and for a second I was worried that she had shot the Hulk and made him angrier, but instead she had shot the pipe above him, blowing steam in his face and allowing us a few seconds to run, which we did.

Hulk followed us, the narrow spaces not a concern for him as he destroyed walls and ceilings as he came crashing through.

He caught up enough to deliver a hit, and, as had happened when Clint had interrupted during training, I felt the meaty fist coming my way before it hit and formed a field before I was even aware I was doing it.

Unfortunately, the hit was still strong, and my field was not sturdy enough too just deflect it. It still took most of the force, but the hit forced me into the air and tumbling into Romanov.

We tried to pick ourselves up, but our arms and legs were tangled together and we had the wind knocked out of us. We managed to turn around to face Hulk as he came bearing down on us, arm raised as if to deliver a backhand.

Luckily an object came flying through the air, smashing a hole in the wall as it forced the Hulk through the opposite wall.

Romanov and I slumped in relief, taking a moment to assess our injuries. I almost certainly had at least one cracked rib and a twisted shoulder. I could still move it, though, so that was good. I was gonna have a ridiculous bruise on my face for several days, though, which was less good.

Suddenly, the Helicarrier lurched, leaning to one side.

"It's Barton," Fury's voice came over the comms. I looked to Romanov. "He took out our systems. He's heading to the detention level. Does anybody copy?"

Romanov met my gaze as she activated her comm. "This is Agent Romanov," she said, as steadily as she could manage. "I copy."

She got gingerly to her feet.

"Romanov, let me…" I began.

She turned to me. "No." She shot me down immediately. "This is something I have to do by myself."

I sighed, nodding. She dashed off towards the detention level. I activated my comm. "Director?" I asked. "Where do you need me?"

"Assist Coulson locking down the detention level," he ordered.

"Copy," I replied, dashing off.

* * *

I was too late. By the time I got there, Loki was gone, the cage was gone, and Coulson…

God.

Coulson was slumped against the wall, holding one of the phase two weapons, eyes glazed.

"Coulson?" I panicked, dropping to my knees beside him. "Oh God." I tried to press my hands to his wound, applying pressure, but from what I could see from the blood on the wall behind him, the wound went all the way through. Applying pressure wasn't going to work. "I need a med team to the detention level!" I called over my comm.

He turned his head to face me.

"Hey Benson," he said tiredly, breathing labored. "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything," I promised, tearily. "You know that."

"Take care of Clint for me," he ordered.

I could feel a sob rolling up my body. "Don't talk like that, Coulson. You are not going to die."

He smiled gently at me. "I don't think you get a say in that."

"Coulson," I pleaded. "Please don't leave me." I was fully sobbing now, I couldn't help myself. I hid my face in his right shoulder and his hand came up to tangle itself in my hair.

There was a clamor by the door and I looked up to see Fury dashing into the room.

"Sorry boss," Coulson said as Fury knelt on his other side. "The god rabbited."

"Just stay awake," Fury ordered. "Eyes on me!"

Coulson shook his head minutely. "I'm clocking out, here."

Tears rolled unchecked down my face and I gripped the hand Coulson had previously had in my hair.

"Not an option," Fury told him.

"It's okay, boss," Coulson replied, tiredly. "This was never going to work... if they didn't have something... to..."

Coulson looks away, unseeing and his chest falls for the last time.

The med team choose this moment to appear and Fury and I stand back to let them work. I am shaking uncontrollably and Fury doesn't seem to know what to do.

After several minutes, one of the med team turns to us and shakes his head. My hand covers my mouth as I try to hold in a sob. I can't break down right now. I can't. Loki is God knows where and Clint and Romanov are off somewhere having a showdown and as far as I knew, the Helicarrier was still falling from the sky.

"Agent Coulson is down," Fury said over the comms.

An agent replied. "Paramedics are on their way…"

"They're here," Fury cut him off. "They called it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate the chunk of text I had to use from The Avengers, but it was necessary. 
> 
> The confrontation in this chapter is another one of those scenes I had in mind since the beginning and helped shape this story. Longest chapter so far!
> 
> Also, this is the single biggest story I have ever written in my life. I have such a short attention span that I barely get out of the planning stages before I lose interest, most of the time. But I love writing this so much. As I post this chapter, I have almost 30k words in total. That’s just mind boggling to me and I am so proud. I hope you are all enjoying this story as much as I am enjoying writing it!


	10. Invasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am the agent who has been trained by Phil Coulson for the last two years and just watched him die at the hand of the same being who is leading an alien army against Manhattan. I am also the woman who will not hesitate to shoot you where you really don’t want me to shoot you, unless you get out of my way. Does that answer your question?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I’m not the best at fight scenes, but I tried my best! And I thought, originally, that The Avengers would take up two chapters, maybe 6000 words. 4 chapters and over 12k words… Not that much over, really…

Fury took care of Coulson. I left the room, needing to just get away, and leaned against the wall outside.

"Romanov?" I spoke over the comm.

"I got him," came the reply.

"Alive?" I asked, hoping for the right answer.

"Yes."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Fury appeared beside me.

"Get Rogers and Stark," he ordered. "And bring them to the bridge."

"Yes sir," I agreed.

* * *

Steve and Stark sat, slumped at the conference table. I leaned against the wall to the side while Fury strolled in and threw something across the table.

Upon closer inspection, I could see that they were Coulson's Captain America trading cards.

Bloodstained.

"These were in Phil Coulson's jacket," Fury informed them. I frowned. Coulson would never keep them in his jacket. The only reason they were on the Helicarrier is that he was going to ask Steve to sign them. He was very particular. They were kept in their case in his locker. Fury turned to Steve. "Guess he never did get you to sign them."

I understood what Fury was doing, at that moment. He was doing what Coulson had suggested; giving them something to fight for.

"We're dead in the air up here," he continued, as Steve and Stark both looked down at their hands. "Our communications, location of the cube, Banner, Thor. I got nothing for you. Lost my one good eye. Maybe I had that coming."

He paused, leaning against the railing. "Yes, we were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract. I never put all my chips on that number though, because I was playing something even riskier." He started to walk around the table as he spoke. "There was an idea, Stark knows this, called The Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, see if they could become something more. See if they could work together when we needed them to, to fight the battles that we never could. Phil Coulson died still believing in that idea, in heroes."

Stark stood up and walked away, without a word.

"Well," Fury said, watching him leave. "It's an old fashioned notion."

* * *

I went to Romanov's room. I couldn't think of what else to do. But I needed to make sure Clint was okay.

I had promised Coulson.

When I got there, Romanov and Clint were sitting side by side on her bed.

"Hi," I said.

They both looked up.

"Hey, Bridge," Clint murmured.

I nearly knocked him over with the force of my hug. Romanov moved over so that I had more room, which I was grateful for.

I pulled back. "I am so glad you're okay," I told him.

"I'm fine," He promised.

I looked over at Romanov. "Did you tell him about..?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I…" her voice shook slightly. "I was about to."

Clint looked between the two of us. "What's going on?" he asked. "What aren't you telling me?"

I sat down on the other side of Clint and met Romanov's gaze for a moment before she looked away.

"Clint," I began, my voice trembling. I took a deep breath as I tried to get it under control. "Clint… It's Coulson… He…"

Clint's eyes widened. "No…"

He whipped his head around to look at Romanov, as if hoping she would tell him I was lying. She just nodded.

Clint stumbled to his feet. "I… I think I'm gonna…"

He ran to the adjoining bathroom and we could hear him throwing up for several minutes, before we heard running water. Romanov and I just sat there, not even looking at each other, neither of us really knowing what to do at that moment.

The door opened and we turned to see Steve in full uniform. He looked between the two of us.

"Time to go," he instructed.

"Go where?" Romanov asked.

"I'll tell you on the way. Can you fly one of those jets?" he asked.

Clint came out of the bathroom, drying his hands on a towel, looking slightly more put together.

"I can," he said.

Steve looked to me and Romanov. Romanov subtly nodded and Steve turned back to Clint. "You got a suit?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Then suit up."

* * *

We all suited up. I returned to my room for a fresh suit as my current one was ripped and dirty, and met Steve, Clint, and Romanov in the lower hangar bay.

"Where's Stark?" I asked.

"He's meeting us there," Steve told me.

I nodded. "Okay. If things get ugly and the alien army manage to break through, there's gonna be a lot of civilians in the way. Let me deal with that."

Steve looked at me, eyebrows raised. "Bridge-?"

"I'm not part of the team, Steve," I told him. "I have Level Five clearance. And I know that I wasn't even considered for the team like Romanov or Clint were. Just… consider me your unofficial/official S.H.I.E.L.D. liaison. Plus, I'm better on defense," I pointed out. "With my powers, I can better protect people. Drop me off at HQ and I can mobilize a team to evacuate the civilians."

"Okay." Steve nodded and we all headed for the jet.

When we walked onto it, the technician who was tinkering with the electronics looked up.

"Hey, you're not authorized to be-!"

Steve looked at him, pityingly. "Son… Just don't."

* * *

HQ was a mess when I got there. Aliens were falling from the sky and everything was absolute chaos. After observing for a few seconds, I crossed to the nearest wall and activated the emergency procedures.

"This is Agent Bridget Benson," I called over the building's speaker systems. "Communications to the Helicarrier and to Director Fury are down. Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow and Hawkeye are on their way to deal with the invasion. Our primary mission at this moment is to protect the civilians. Team leaders join me in conference room three now."

"Excuse me!" A voice shouted. I looked over to see Agent Felix Blake stride towards me. "Just who do you think you are-?"

I turned to face him, eyes fixed with a steely glint.

"I am the agent who has been trained by Phil Coulson for the last two years and just watched him die at the hand of the same being who is leading an alien army against Manhattan. I am also the woman who will not hesitate to shoot you where you really don't want me to shoot you, unless you get out of my way. Does that answer your question?"

Blake wordlessly stepped aside, eyes wide in astonishment. I swept past him and walked swiftly to conference room three.

Most of the team leaders were already there when I got there. When given orders, S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents could move fast.

After a few more moments and the entry of three more agents, I began to speak.

"I know that most of you don't know me. I am… was… Phil Coulson's Agent. I know that most of you have been here longer than I have. I also know that most of you either have the same clearance level that I do, or higher. But I also know what is going on. I have a direct line of communication open with the members of the Avengers Initiative. I know I am asking a lot by asking you to follow my lead. But I need you to trust me. We need to get the civilians off the ground and we need to do it now. Are you with me?"

I looked around the room. Everyone is either nodding or looking approving, so I plowed on.

"Okay. First things first. We need to work from Stark tower outwards. That's where the wormhole opened up, so that's where the greatest concentration of hostiles will be. I need two teams to assemble right now and get there."

Two agents stood up and left. I sighed, gratefully. "We need media coverage. We need someone to inform and direct the public to safe zones. Basements and subways. Anywhere underground."

"Covered," an agent called, leaving the room.

"Okay." I looked around the room. "I need a map of Manhattan."

A young, blonde, female agent I hadn't met before got up and operated the controls for the computer, bringing up a 3D hologram of Manhattan above the conference table.

"Okay. Our mission is to save as many civilian lives as possible. We need to get them off the streets and to basements and the subway. Anywhere that isn't accessible to passing gunfire, really. I need teams on 42nd, 57th, and 34th. Someone needs to cover the Lincoln tunnel and Bryant park areas. Then there's Madison Square park and… Fuck. Why is Manhattan so fucking big?" I growled. Agents agreed amongst themselves who was going where and got to it. I was left with a handful of agents and decided to check in with Steve where they were most needed.

"Captain?" I activated my comm. I could see an agent in the corner with wide eyes. This was someone who clearly hadn't believed me when I told them I had a direct line open with the Avengers.

"Bridget?" he responded, sounding strained.

"What's the situation?" I asked. "Where are you?"

"Midtown," he told me, grunting as the sound of gunfire exploded in the background. "Jet was shot down so we're on the ground. Stark is in the air and Thor has engaged Loki. Bridge… there's a huge space whale thing."

"You've got to be shitting me," I breathed. "Okay. The largest concentration still in Midtown?" I asked.

"Yeah, but they seem to be moving out quite fast."

"Okay. I've mobilized the teams. We'll be ready. Where are you right now?" I asked, skimming the map.

"Corner of 45th and Lexington," he replied.

"Okay. I'm coming that way with a team of my own."

"What?" he cried. "Bridget no, it's-"

"If you give me that 'It's too dangerous' crap, Steve Rogers, I swear-" I left the threat open.

Steve sighed. "Okay. But get here fast. There are so many civilians here, Bridge. Grand Central Station is…"

"Shit," I realized. "Yeah, I know. Rush hour and Grand Central Station is a block away from the giant wormhole. Because my life can't ever be easy."

I directed the last few teams to various spots around Midtown and made a call of my own.

"Bridge?" Darren answered very fast. "Bridge, what's going on?"

"No time to explain," I told him. "I need you at 45th and Lexington twenty minutes ago. Bring reinforcements."

"Done," he replied, crisply. "Bridge? Stay safe."

"You too," I replied.

* * *

I met Darren and his team before I saw Steve. His SO, Johnson, was just as severe looking as I remembered. We ducked behind an abandoned car as a Chitauri flew overhead.

I eyed Johnson warily. "You gonna be okay with me taking lead?" I asked.

She looked me over. "You seem to have a decent grasp on the situation," was all she said.

I nodded. "Okay. We need to direct the civilians to the basements and subways. You two," I looked at the other two members of Johnson's team, a man and a woman. "Take that building," I pointed to the left. "And work your way up to 1st Avenue. If the building has no basement, cover the civilians to the nearest subway. You two," I addressed Johnson and Darren. "Do the same on the other side."

"What about you?" Darren asked.

"I'm covering the street," I told him.

"By yourself?" He didn't look too enthusiastic at this.

"No," I said, seeing a red, white, and blue shape somersaulting over several upturned cars about 300 yards away.

Darren saw where I was looking. "Okay, fair enough," he said, getting up and preparing his dash to the building I directed him to.

Once the two pairs had left in opposite directions, I began my clearing of the streets. I grabbed the panicking people trying to run in every direction and shoved them towards the subway, shielding them from fire as we ran.

On my third trip to the subway stop, Steve caught up with me, landing heavily beside me and throwing his shield at a passing Chitauri.

"Fancy meeting you here," I joked, as I shepherded the small group of civilians down the steps to the subway.

"What's a girl like you doing in a battle like this?" Steve returned. I'm sure that if I could have seen his eyebrows beneath the cowl, they would have wiggled.

I laughed, and then shouted "DOWN!" as a Chitauri blasted the space where Steve had been a second before. He pulled himself back up and threw his shield at the Chitauri, knocking it out cold.

"Thanks," he said.

"Anytime," I promised, starting to head off in the opposite direction.

"Bridget…" He stopped me by catching my wrist as I went by him and I turned around, questioningly.

I was met with a firm chest and lips and oh wow Steve Rogers was kissing me and you can bet I kissed him back.

I wasn't sure how it had happened and it certainly wasn't the best place for it, but it was one of the best moments of my entire life.

It was over far too soon, but a Chitauri stumbled across our path and I had to shield us from its blast, breaking away from kiss. Steve dashed around me to take on the Chitauri and I went back to my job, calling over my shoulder.

"Stay safe, Steve!"

* * *

I saw the Avengers take down the huge space whale thing (the name had kind of stuck) from the next block over. The sound the Chitauri made was earsplitting.

The next two huge space whale things that came out of the portal were not a welcome sight.

I carried on with my job, ushering people into basements and subways as best I could, and engaging the Chitauri only when I had to, my priority being defensive.

I was just ushering a small group into a building with a basement when something thudded behind me. I turned to see a fallen Chitauri, who had clearly been trying to catch me from behind, with an arrow sticking out of its neck.

"Thanks, Clint!" I called, over comms.

"You owe me a beer," he replied.

* * *

The next voice I heard over comms was Romanov's.

"I can close it! Can anybody hear me? I can shut the portal down!"

I leaned against the side of a building, checking the gash on my arm from fallen debris, and took my last glucose tablet.

"Thank fuck for that," I breathed.

"Do it!" Steve answered.

"No wait!" Stark called, panicked.

"Stark! These things are still coming!" Steve argued.

"I got a nuke coming in, it's gonna blow in less than a minute," Stark informed us. "And I know just where to put it."

A nuke? Oh, shit.

"Stark?" Steve warned. "You know that's a one way trip."

Stark didn't answer, but we knew he heard.

Damn.

I saw Stark, with missile, come flying overhead, and head straight for the portal. I followed his path up until he disappeared through the portal and breathed a sigh of relief. The nuke was taken care of. Stark however…

I watched the portal, waiting for the man to come back through it. When I saw the flash of the nuke exploding, I closed my eyes, sadly. The Chitauri all just… collapsed. It was like they just powered down after they were disconnected from the main ship or something.

"Close it."

It was Steve's voice. I sighed and started heading in the direction of Stark Tower. That's where the rest of the team would be, I knew.

The portal closed with a sound like thunder but I wasn't looking, choosing instead to pick my way through the debris filled street.

"Son of a gun."

I looked up, startled, at Steve's exclamation. I saw a figure falling from the sky at speed.

Stark.

That man has the best luck out of anyone I know.

I realized he wasn't slowing down but he was too far away for me to do anything. I could only watch, helplessly as he fell.

I was about to look away when a green figure came flying towards Stark, catching him.

I was only about two blocks away by this point and I started running.

* * *

I met them, all six of them, at the bottom of Stark Tower, Loki in tow.

I saw the members of the two teams I had sent to Stark tower standing around the street and I waved them over.

"Take Loki to HQ," I told the team leader, Hernandez, I think his name was. "Put him in detention and wait for Fury's orders."

He nodded and stepped towards Loki.

Thor stepped in front of his brother. "Agent Benson, Loki is my responsibility…"

"And we all need food, a shower, and sleep, Thor," I pointed out. "You included. Just, please, let us hold Loki for you until morning. Until we can all think straight?"

Thor was reluctant, but let Hernandez take Loki without any further argument.

I turned back to the team.

"So…" Stark broke the silence. "Shawarma?"


	11. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He left me, Clint. He’s gone and I've got no one to come home to now.”

After the Shawarma, I stopped by my apartment for a shower and a change of clothes. Kate and Darren weren't back yet, which was good. I wasn't ready to see anyone else yet. I shoved another change of clothes in my bag, just in case. I had a feeling that, after the events of the day, the team may end up crashing, and I didn't really want to be apart from them at this point. I just wanted to hug Steve and crack a joke with Clint and...

Shit. Clint.

I speeded up and shot out of there as quick as possible, running the twelve blocks to Stark tower. I had to flash my S.H.I.E.L.D. ID to get me in the building, but Tony Stark's security then wouldn't let me up. This pissed me off immensely.

I took out my cell phone and made a call.

"Yep?"

"Stark?"

"Agent Benson? Where did you get this number?"

"That's classified. Is Clint Barton up there with you?" I asked impatiently.

"He went to take a shower about twenty minutes ago. Romanov's about ten seconds away from kicking the door down."

"Okay, Stark," I began. "Tell Romanov that I know everything and I will take care of Clint, okay? And tell your security team to let me up. I'm in your lobby."

"You're in the lobby? Hand your cell over to one of them."

I did as I was told and within seconds of speaking to Stark, the security guy straightened and then motioned for the rest of the team to let me through.

"Thanks, Stark," I said, once I'd gotten my cell back.

"No problem," he replied. "And I think after this, you can call me Tony."

"Thanks... Tony."

The elevator took way too long to my impatient mind, but it soon deposited me into the main living area. Tony was sat on a sofa with a glass of whiskey in one hand, tablet in the other. Romanov was pacing back and forth across the room, Banner was asleep on another sofa and Steve stood up from his place on the floor, leaning on the wall, when he saw me.

I accepted the hug gratefully, but pulled away when I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I wasn't ready to break down yet. I needed to see Clint first.

"Where is he?" I addressed Romanov.

"He's in the guest room just down the hall. He's locked himself in. You know?" she asked me meaningfully.

"I know," I said, nodding. "I caught the show," I continued, remembering that night in Portland.

She choked on a laugh and bid me to follow her. I squeezed Steve's forearm comfortingly, sending him a look that promised explanation soon.

When we got to the door of the guest room, I leant down to be level with the lock. I concentrated, remembering my lock picking lessons. The first field I sent in didn't catch any tumblers, but the second one did. Once I had that one in place, I knew exactly where the others would be, maneuvering them until the lock slid back. I stood up and looked to Romanov.

"Would you give me a minute?" I asked. She looked ready to protest. "I know you care about him, Natasha." I'm not sure why I used her name, but it felt right, so I rolled with it. "But this is about Coulson and he... we both would appreciate the privacy. Just for now." I took a deep breath to collect myself as she nodded in understanding.

I opened the door and stepped through. There was no one in the bedroom, but there was a door ajar and the sound of running water coming in from beyond it, so I assumed that that was the bathroom. I shut the door behind me, dropped my bag on the bed and went across to the other door.

I pushed it open and my heart hurt at what I found. Clint Barton was sat, fully dressed and soaking wet, under the shower spray, hugging his knees and staring straight ahead. I didn't even think about it, I dumped my cell phone on the counter and joined him, fully dressed, under the spray. I sat next to him, thankful that Tony Stark had showers big enough for two people (although for an entirely different purpose, knowing him), and put my arm around his shoulders, tugging gently until his head rested on my shoulder. I ran my hand through his wet hair, softly.

After a few minutes, he broke. I felt the first sob break through him and his arm shot out to grip mine tightly, as if needing some sort of anchor. I turned my body slightly to kneel in front of him, pulling him flush against me in an embrace. He clutched me tightly as the dam broke and he cried. I joined him moments later, feeling everything I had been trying to hold back come forth in the face of Clint's own emotion. We held onto each other tightly as we rode out the tears.

After a while, it could've been minutes, could've been hours, the sobbing receded, but we didn't let go of each other, each needing what the other could give; warmth, comfort, understanding.

"Bridget?" Clint asked, the sound muffled against my shoulder.

"Yeah?" I asked, hoarsely, my throat hurting slightly from the crying.

"Did the shower go off?"

I looked up and saw that we were encased in a force field. I turned it off with a thought and the water came crashing down on us a moment later, making us yelp in surprise and break apart. I stood up, reaching for the towels on the railing, stepping out, wiping my face with one and handing Clint the other as he stood up and turned off the shower.

We looked at each other and giggled briefly. "Sorry," I said. "Sometimes my emotions get the better of my powers..."

He nodded; leaning against the counter, dripping wet, and ran his fingers through his hair, looking every inch like a lost child. I felt for him, so much.

"You get out of those wet things," I ordered, gently. "You got any dry clothes?"

He nodded, gesturing to a folded set of clothes on the counter behind him.

"Okay, you get changed here, I'll get changed in the bedroom," I told him. He nodded and I rubbed his arm, soothingly, as I passed him.

I walked into the bedroom and started stripping my wet clothes off. As I was toweling dry, I had a thought.

"Jarvis?" I called, feeling slightly foolish. I wasn't sure if it would work, but I had been informed about Stark's AI.

"Yes, Agent Benson?" came the disembodied voice.

I felt relieved. "Could you please tell the others that we're both okay?"

"Affirmative, Agent Benson," said Jarvis. "Will you be needing anything else?"

"Not right now Jarvis, thank you." I pulled out my spare clothes from my bag and threw them on, quickly, tying my wet hair back so that it wouldn't wet my dry clothes. I threw my wet clothes into a hamper in the corner of the room, figuring I'd sort it with Stark – Tony, I reminded myself – later. I knocked on the bathroom door.

"Clint?" I called.

He opened the bathroom door, dressed in dry clothes, expression still broken, eyes red and slightly swollen. I pulled him gently to the bed and lay on top of the covers, tugging him to join me until he was laid beside me, facing away and I was spooning him. Someone walking into the room may have gotten the wrong idea, with us in this position, but, right now, it was what we needed; human contact, the knowledge that we were not grieving alone.

"Do you wanna talk?" I asked.

Clint shook his head slightly.

"Do you wanna listen?" He shrugged, almost imperceptibly. I took this for a positive. "I lost my parents when I was eleven years old," I began. "Car accident. I was in the back seat. My powers are the only reason I'm alive right now. My teachers at Xavier's school did their best. Dr Grey-Summers tried her hardest, especially, but when you have an entire school to care for, most of whom don't see their parents for months at a time, there's only so much you can do. Coulson was assigned to be my SO when I was in my last year of training. I didn't know what to make of him at first, so I treated him like I had treated my trainers, with a cool respect and plenty of distance. Until our first mission went south.

"There was an untrained pyro mutant that was emotionally unstable in south Illinois. We were to contain her and sedate her. Her parents were severely distressed and waiting in our van when I went out and managed to get close enough to contain her, she freaked out and it took all my strength to keep her still. I'd stupidly left my glucose in the van and I had Coulson shouting in my ear to get out of there because I was fading and he couldn't get a decent enough shot to sedate, but I shouted back at him that I was going to hold her still until he took the shot because that girl had a family.

"I woke up in medical two days later. Coulson was by my side and as soon as he saw that I was awake he started yelling. Told me that if I wasn't in a hospital bed coming out of a hypoglycemic coma, he probably would've taken a shot at me. He asked me what I thought I was doing. I told him that I needed to make sure that girl got home to her family. He just looked at me and said 'But what about you? What about making sure you got home to yours?' I told him I didn't have a family and he went quiet. I'll always remember what he said next: 'As long as you are my agent, Bridget Benson, you make sure you come home to me. You got that?' And he just left. The nurse said he hadn't left my side longer than 10 minutes for the past two days."

I went quiet. I closed my eyes as I felt the tears come back up. "He left me, Clint. He's gone and I've got no one to come home to now."

Clint turned and caught me as I crumbled, sobbing silently into his chest. When he spoke, his low, quiet voice washed over me.

"It started when I brought in Natasha." He tucked a piece of hair that had come out of the band behind my ear gently. "I thought I was going to get chewed out, fired, memory wiped, all of the above. But Phil... He sat me down and told me to talk. So I did. I told him everything, all my reasons for bringing her in instead of eliminating her. And he listened. He told me he trusted my judgment and he pleaded the case to Fury. I had never had anyone trust me like that before; to listen to what I had to say. I didn't grow up in the best environment. There was never anyone to look out for me, to tell me I was doing the right thing. Phil did. I think every time he asked me for my opinion and then took it into consideration I fell in love with him a little bit more."

He looked at me. I had almost stopped crying by this point. I gazed up at him. "You knew." It wasn't a question.

"Super secret government agents should be more discrete in Portland hotel rooms." I echoed what I said to Coulson what seemed like a lifetime ago but in actuality was only a few days previous and it made my heart hurt.

He laughed and it turned into a choked sob at the end. Within moments, we were at it again, crying and clutching each other. His hand came up to touch my face and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. I glanced at him through my tears. He looked so lost and empty and angry and I didn't know what to do. He placed another kiss on my forehead, one on my cheek and then one on my lips. He pulled away slightly, shocked, then did it again, just a quick press of lips. Before I could say anything, a third one came, longer this time and his hands wandered down my sides.

"Clint," I murmured as he kissed me a fourth time. "Don't"

His hand found my hip and he dug his fingertips in lightly. "Please," he begged. "I need..."

"No, Clint." I brought my hands up to his face, cupping his jaw and used my thumbs to wipe the tears from his cheeks. "You don't want this. It won't make you feel any better. It won't stop the hurt and it won't make you miss him any less. Trust me Clint, okay?"

He bowed his head in acknowledgement and cried silently. I kissed his forehead gently and held him. After several minutes, I called "Jarvis?"

"Yes, Agent Benson?" he answered.

"Could you please ask Agent Romanov to bring a tub of ice cream and three spoons?" I asked.

Clint squeezed me gently, gratefully.

"Of course, Agent Benson."

"Thanks, Jarvis. ...Hey, Jarvis?" I added as an afterthought.

"Yes, Agent Benson?"

"Does Tony have Netflix?"

"Indeed, Agent Benson."

The TV on the wall flicked on, showing the Netflix logo.

"Thanks, Jarvis."

* * *

I left Clint and Natasha curled up together on the bed, asleep, to go find Steve. As I started to get up, a hand grasped my wrist, startling me. I swung my head round and met Natasha's gaze. She mouthed 'thank you' at me, before settling back down to sleep against Clint. I nodded at her. I should've known I wouldn't be able to move without waking her up.

I entered the living area to find Banner still asleep on the sofa and Tony where he had been hours before, looking as if he had never moved; whiskey still in hand. Steve was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey," I greeted, softly, not wanting to wake Banner. Tony looked up.

"Hey, you're alive," he stated. "How was the super secret S.H.I.E.L.D. agents-only love-in session?" he asked.

"Hard," I admitted, honestly. "Where's Steve?"

"Capsicle was ready to drop, so I sent him to bed. Two doors down from Legolas," Tony gestured.

I nodded and started in the direction Tony indicated.

"Everyone's getting the love but me," Tony said, slightly snarkily.

I turned back. "Sorry, Tony. It has been a very long day. Natasha and I are probably the only things keeping Clint together right now. But I just lost the only family I had left and I don't want to be strong for someone else right now. I want Steve to hold me and tell me everything's going to be okay, even though we both know it's not. Is that alright with you?" I asked, sarcastically, holding back tears.

Tony looked startled and nodded, looking down at the floor.

I softened.

"Tony, go to bed. It's late. You'll feel better..."

"I can't," he interrupted. "Pepper will be here in about an hour... I can't... I'll sleep when she..." he stumbled over the words, not looking up from them floor.

I nodded, understanding. I then hesitated. "Tony, what I said… in the lab… I didn't…"

"You didn't say anything that wasn't true, Benson," he murmured into his drink, before finishing the rest of it.

I felt like shit. "Tony…"

He shrugged. "Facts of life, Benson. I'm a high functioning alcoholic and my dad loved Captain America more than he ever loved me. Nobody's denying that." He stood up, turning his back to me and heading over to the bar to pour another drink. "But for the record, I'm sorry about what I said." he said, after a few moments of silence where neither of us knew what to say.

"Thanks." I dithered for another moment before deciding I couldn't wait any longer. "Anyway… Goodnight, Tony."

"Goodnight, Benson."

"Bridget," I corrected. He looked around. "My name is Bridget."

"Huh," he remarked. "I had you pegged for a Kelly or an Amanda..."

I rolled my eyes. "Good night, Tony," I called and went down the corridor to the direction of the room Steve was in.

I opened the door as quietly as I could, but Steve's eyes still shot open as the light from the hallway infiltrated the room.

"Bridge?" he murmured, sleepily.

I moved over to the bed, silently, my eyes asking for permission – for what, I wasn't even sure. Steve, though, pulled the covers back and clasped me tight as I all but collapsed onto the bed. I wasn't even sure I could cry any more tears, but dry sobs wracked my frame and Steve held me through them.

"It's okay," he murmured. "It'll all be okay."

It wouldn't be okay. I knew. He knew. I had told Tony much the same. But hearing it lifted a weight off my chest. Things weren't going to get better overnight, but maybe in the morning, things would look a little brighter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry? This so needed to happen. I did cry as I was writing it and I know people were sad a few chapters back so I'm sorry for making you sad again!


	12. Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I should be mourning Coulson and picking up the pieces of my life, but I can’t because I hate that your stupid face is there in my brain all the time and I remember your stupid lips and how it felt to kiss you and… I can’t, Steve. I can’t.”

Steve was gone when I woke up the next morning.

I'm not sure what I expected. Did I expect us to wake up together and immediately fall into some 50's sitcom of life? Where he'd kiss me on the cheek before I got up to make him breakfast in bed?

Well, it's probably a good thing that didn't happen. Tony's fire insurance would've been put to the test.

I stumbled out of the room and into the living area, where Tony and Pepper Potts were curled up together on the couch, watching cartoons on the TV. Banner was nowhere to be seen.

"Agent Benson?" Miss Potts murmured, noticing me.

"Morning, Miss Potts," I greeted.

She waved at me, dismissively. "Please, it's Pepper. After how much Phil talked about you, I feel like I know you." She blinked tears out of her eyes. "He loved you, you know?" she told me. "He told me you were like the daughter he never had."

I could feel myself starting to cry again, but shook it off. I needed to hold myself together.

"It's Bridget," I told her. "And thanks…" I looked around. "Have you seen Steve?" I asked them.

Tony looked over at me, sleepily. "He left about an hour ago," he told me. "Trouble in paradise, already? …Ow!" He rubbed his arm where Pepper hit him.

* * *

Steve didn't reply to my texts and didn't answer my calls and when we all gathered to see Thor and Loki leave for Asgard, he sped off on his motorcycle without a word.

Clint must have seen the look on my face because he sidled up to me and put his arm around me. "Hey, Bridge. You fancy getting very, very drunk?"

"Oh good God, yes."

He laughed. "Okay. Because, as I recall, you owe me a beer."

* * *

I was hungover as Hell the next morning when I was summoned to a meeting with Fury and Hill at HQ the next morning.

I was prepared for the worst. I had gone against the chain of command, left base without authorization and given orders to Agents with higher rank than me, all in the space of twenty minutes, two days ago. Agents have lost their jobs for less.

Fury and Hill are both unreadable. I would hate to play poker with either of them.

"Benson," Fury began. "Take a seat."

I did so, nervously. Fury was standing, arms folded, in front of the small table. Hill was standing against the wall, silently.

"You are to be commended for your actions during the battle, Benson," Fury told me.

I blinked, not sure if I had heard right.

"Wait, what?" I asked. "Commended? But… But… I broke the chain of command… I left base without…"

"A sensible person would just thank me, rather than try to talk me out of it," Fury said, rolling his… eye.

"Sorry, sir. Thank you, sir," I said, automatically.

Fury sighed. "You made the right call, Benson. The world was going to shit and you pulled yourself together and you got things done."

He shared a glance with Hill, before turning back to me.

"Do you want to know why you weren't considered for the Avengers Initiative?" Fury asked, clasping his arms behind his back.

"What?" I asked, confused as to why he would bring that up.

"It had to have crossed your mind. A team of people with special abilities and talents. Two of them S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. And you weren't on the list." Fury stared me down and I dropped my gaze. "You weren't on the list," he said. "Because you are on another kind of list. That list only has one name on it."

I looked up. "Sir?"

"Coulson was the best, Benson. He was my right hand man." I looked across at Hill, and Fury saw me looking. "Hill may be the Deputy Director, but that's because, as Deputy Director, she needs to take orders from and report to the blockheads on the World Security Council. She's monitored. She can't make the tough calls or do the subtle things that need doing because she is too high up. Too high profile. And that is why I had Coulson. He was my one good eye. I trusted him to do the things that needed to be done. But he knew that he wouldn't be around forever. And that is why he took you on."

I was shocked. "But… Why me?"

Fury paced around the table as he spoke. "Agent Barton knew the kind of Agent that Coulson was looking for. Someone instinctive, intuitive. Someone who asks questions, doesn't take no for answer, and can make tough decisions. Barton knew who you were before he stepped foot in that Academy. He just needed to test you and make the decision."

I closed my eyes. Okay. I had been manipulated and lied to by one of my friends. If I had known where he was, he would've been in so much pain at that moment.

"Once Coulson had you, he just needed to hone your skills; make sure that you could make the tough calls in the field and that you would do the right thing, despite the circumstances." Fury looked over at me. "Your actions during the battle; leaving the base and taking command like you did… That just shows that Coulson knew what he was doing. He trained you well."

There was a pause. I didn't know what to do. I was numb with shock.

"I'm going back to D.C." Fury stated. "And you are coming with me."

"What?" The word came out without me even thinking. All I could think was Steve. Kate. Darren. My  _life._  "Sir, I can't come to D.C. I-"

"You can and you will, Benson," Fury shot back. "I need you with me. You have two days. End of discussion."

He swept out of the room before I could argue back.

Hill smirked at me.

"Congratulations," she said. "Looks like you're the new Coulson."

* * *

" _WHAT?!"_

I nodded, sadly, as I continued extracting all of my shoes from the pile behind the door.

"But they can't do that, right?" Kate asked. "They can't just make you move to D.C.!"

"They can and they will," I sigh. "It's supposed to be like a promotion. Apparently being 'Coulson trained' is a big deal with Fury and the higher ups." I felt a pang at the thought of my SO.

"But you can't!" Darren said, panicking. "We'll kill each other without you!" He gestured between Kate and himself. It was true, I supposed. I had been in the middle of so many fights between the two of them over the years that it was a wonder they were still alive, especially since both of them got firearm certified.

"You'll be fine," I tried to reassure him.

"Bridge," Kate said. "What about Steve? Have you told him yet?"

I slumped. "No." I sat down. "It's all so complicated. I mean, after what Tony Stark said on the Helicarrier in front of everybody… and then he kissed me… and he held me while I slept after the Clint thing..." I sighed in frustration. "But we haven't talked about it at all. He's been actively avoiding me. I don't know where we stand."

"Man, being a girl is hard," Darren commented. "The world nearly got taken over by aliens and all you're worried about is your love life."

I threw a shoe at him, which he dodged, sticking his tongue out at me as if he were four instead of twenty-four. I caught the discarded shoe in a field and clapped him unsuspectingly on the back of the head with it instead.

When he yelled in pain, I stuck my tongue out at him. Kate rolled her eyes.

"Children," she said, exasperatedly.

* * *

I texted Steve to meet me in the gym. I also left a message on his voicemail. I then got Tony to do the same (although, I did not appreciate the snark that came with that). I half expected him to give some sort of excuse of why he couldn't come, but he was there when I arrived.

I stood there, awkwardly in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

When a whole minute passed and neither of us said anything, I huffed out a breath and decided to just get it over with.

"I'm moving to D.C."

Steve's eyes widened. "You're moving to D.C.? Not because of..?"

"What? No." I saw what he was getting at. "It's got nothing to do with what happened. It's Fury." I sighed, walking over to the boxing ring and sitting on the ledge, leaning against the ropes. Steve came to sit beside me. "He's gonna be in D.C. full time for the next God knows how long and he wants me there. After..." I trailed off. "After Coulson, he wants to keep me close." I leant my head on Steve's shoulder. "Hill told me I was the next Coulson." I paused, and then said in a small voice "I don't want to be the next Coulson, Steve."

The tears came without any stopping them. Steve put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.

"If I'm the next Coulson, then that means that he's gone." I sniffed. "I mean, I know he's gone, but isn't that just the proverbial nail in the coffin?" I laughed humorlessly. "And then there's you. You and your stupid manners and your stupid face and your stupid laugh that makes me feel all warm and stupid inside. And I should be mourning Coulson and picking up the pieces of my life, but I can't because I hate that your stupid face is there in my brain all the time and I remember your stupid lips and how it felt to kiss you and… I can't, Steve. I can't."

I raced out of there as fast as I could, without a backwards glance.

* * *

All of my belongings fit in my car. That should be very sad, but for a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, it was just practical. You couldn't place too much value on things, because things are breakable.

It doesn't take too long to unload it all into my new apartment in D.C., but the task at least keeps my mind busy.

I was startled by the knock on my door as I began to unpack my kitchen boxes, but left them on the counter as I went to answer it.

Steve stood behind my door, casually leaning against the door frame with his hands in his pockets.

"So," he begins, conversationally piercing me with his gaze. "I met this girl. She's a bit of a dork and consumes enough sugar for three people, but we were friends. And then I started noticing things about this girl. Things like how she smelt, how the corner of her lips would twitch when she was trying not to laugh, and how she would do anything to comfort a friend, but couldn't handle her own feelings in the slightest. And I started to realize I was falling in love with her. And when she defended me to Tony Stark, I started to believe that maybe she felt the same way. We kissed in the heat of the moment and it wasn't how I would've preferred it to happen, but it was good. And then I got scared, in case I was wrong. What would happen to our friendship? I couldn't afford to lose my best friend. And then she told me that she hated my stupid face before moving out of the state, and I realized that I couldn't live without her."

He stepped forward into my apartment and cupped my cheek with his palm. I brought my hand to cover his, realizing that it was trembling badly. He leant down to bring his face level to mine.

"That is," he murmured. "If you can stand the sight of my stupid face?"

I laughed, wiping the tears from my cheek with the back of my hand. "Shut your stupid mouth, Steve Rogers."

I grabbed the back of his neck with my hand and brought his lips to mine. It was perfect. I thought that the kiss on the streets of New York was good, but this..? This was electrifying. It felt like every part of my body had actually been asleep all these years and just decided this moment to wake up. When he broke off the kiss, I almost moaned at the loss.

"How's the pizza in D.C.?" he asked, leaning his forehead against mine. "Because neither of us can cook, so it had better be good or we'll starve."

I laughed, tears escaping against my will. "Why, Captain," I began. "Are you proposing to move in with me?" I asked.

"Well, I couldn't possibly hope to find an apartment so quickly," he blinked, innocently. "And I think you should take pity on the poor homeless man in a strange city."

I hummed. "But I only have one bed," I countered.

Steve sighed, theatrically. "Then I suppose one of us will just have to sleep on the floor." He sizes me up. "It shouldn't hurt your back too much."

He was expecting the punch to his arm and dodged. The pillow from the couch, however, he was not expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a chapter of my side story ["My Place in this World"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4099552/) which has Steve's POV of the events of this chapter, if you wanna check it out? [Here.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4099552/chapters/10341396)


	13. Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And now, I will be ordered to keep a secret from my friends, from the man that I love; a secret that could potentially destroy them all, destroy their relationship with me, and I will do it. Because I am a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. I follow orders. This is how it works, what it means to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been a while! I wanted to wait until I had seen Age of Ultron to make sure that I didn't put anything conflicting in, especially in regards to Clint! New chapters (as well as side stories) should come more often now!

Over a year went by. Tony Stark's Malibu house disappeared into the ocean and then he disappeared for a week but we received a firm 'do not interfere' from the World Security Council, who claimed that Tony had provoked a terrorist organization and we were not going to potentially lose agents over him. None of us were happy at that. Fury had to send Steve away on a mission to stop him running to help.

Thor was back. There was some problem in London, but that was practically sorted before we heard about it.

I met with Thor when he came to check in at S.H.I.E.L.D. He brought Dr. Jane Foster and her intern, Darcy Lewis, with him. Dr. Foster was nice enough; a little absent-minded and easily distracted by science, but Darcy usually managed to set her back on track pretty quickly.

Darcy and I got on like a house on fire. We were quite alike, a similar age, and both viewed sarcasm as a pastime. I wished that I could take her and Clint out drinking. We could have so much fun.

Clint disappeared not long after I moved to DC. He got some personal leave and just left. He texted every so often, just to let Natasha and I know that he was okay. We weren't overly convinced he was totally okay, but we let it lie. Clint was one of the best spies in the world. If he didn't want to be found, there was no way we would find him.

Kate and Darren announced that they were dating four months after I left for DC. I wasn't sure how I felt about it for quite a while, feeling that they were getting closer and I was being left out, in a different city, without them. But after a heart to heart with Steve, I Skyped them both and we talked for hours, sorting out all our insecurities and I wished them both well.

Oh... and there had been the matter of the photo of mine and Steve's mid-battle kiss circulating through all media channels. I'm not sure who had the time and thought it was important enough to snap a picture of Captain America kissing a "mystery woman" in the middle of an alien invasion, but that person made it slightly harder for me to walk down the street for a few days and I was grateful for my undercover training.

But, generally speaking, Steve and I worked.

It was fairly easy to fit him into my life; he already had a place in my heart.

We had our ups and downs... and by ups and downs, I mean screaming arguments that caused Sharon Carter, the S.H.I.E.L.D. ops agent in the apartment across the hall to come storming in with a gun, but we got through it all with minimal damage.

Things only get a little shaky when he insists that I snore.

I so do not.

* * *

"We're upping your clearance level."

I blinked. I had barely made it all the way through the door before Fury threw that piece of information at me.

"Upping my clearance level?" I asked, confused. "But I'm already at Level Six." It was practically unheard of for an agent of my age to even be at Level Six, never mind any higher.

Fury leveled me with a glance. "Now you're at Level Seven," he said, briefly, passing me a folder. "Co-ordinates are in there. A team needs you."

_Well, that was unexpected,_  I thought.

* * *

The plane was pretty impressive. I wondered what this team had done to deserve this beautiful piece of machinery. Fury didn't usually fork out this kind of sexy gadgetry for just anyone.

A woman met me on the ramp. Asian-American and rather stern looking, she gave the impression that she was not someone to cross. Not that I had any intentions of doing so of course.

"Agent Benson?" the woman inquired.

"Yes," I replied, reaching forward to shake her hand. She returned the shake firmly.

"Melinda May," she introduced herself.

I had to school my expression. I had the feeling she wouldn't appreciate me turning into a fangirl at our first meeting. Melinda May was a S.H.I.E.L.D. legend. Luckily, I had been with Steve long enough to know that legends, especially those who had earned the title through the means that they had, didn't appreciate any special treatment from doing what they just saw to be their job. I wondered if she was the reason for the super cool plane.

I was pretty sure that she had seen the stifled reaction to her name, but she ignored it, stepping aside and speaking sharply.

"Follow me. The rest of the team is waiting."

I followed Agent May up the ramp and onto the plane.

What I saw when I walked into the room stopped me in my tracks.

"Hello, Benson," greeted Phil Coulson.

I felt frozen to the spot. I'm not certain how long I stood there, immobile, but it must have been long enough for Coulson to prompt me again.

"Are you coming into the room or..?"

"Well, right now, I don't know whether I want to hug you or punch you in the face, so I'm sure we'd both be safer if I stayed where I was for the time being," I replied, trying to gather my thoughts. The other occupants of the room, barring Agent May, seemed amused by this. There were two men and two women. The older man was quite tall and held himself in a way that led me to believe that he had the same training as I had. The youngest woman looked as if she could still be a teenager. The other two were clearly scientists, suggested by their lab coats. The youngest woman kept staring at me, unnervingly.

I looked back to Coulson. "How are you alive? I saw you. You were dead. What is this? Fury's idea of a sick joke? Do you know what you did? To Clint? To Steve? To Tony? Clint thinks he killed you, Coulson! You have no idea what your death did to him. Natasha and I held him as he cried himself to sleep that first night. Steve still has nightmares over it."

I could tell I hit a nerve, by the pained expression on Coulson's face. I was furious, though. How the hell could I trust this man who let his partner believe that he had a hand in his death?

"Director Fury assured me that it was important that the Avengers all believed that I had remained dead-" Coulson began, before being interrupted by the young woman.

"Wait a minute! That's where I know you from! You're Captain America's girlfriend!"

The two scientists' mouths dropped open and I, once again, wished bodily harm to the person who took that damn photo.

"No way!" the man exclaimed in an accent that sounded Scottish.

"Captain America's girlfriend is a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent?" the woman muttered. She sounded British.

I wasn't really enjoying being referred to as 'Captain America's girlfriend.' Although a small, possessive part of me liked that people were aware that Steve was mine. I tried to steer the conversation back on track, but before I could, the other man spoke up.

"Why is she even here?" he asked, rudely.

I scowled at the tone, but Coulson answered before I could.

"Because, Ward, we may be dealing with someone with telekinetic powers, here, and Agent Benson is the closest S.H.I.E.L.D. has to a telekinetic. I'd prefer to have her here just in case things go awry."

"You mean..." the woman in the lab coat started.

I sighed and extended my power to a glass that was sitting in the table. The shimmering blue force field surrounded it and I slowly lifted it, being careful not to spill any of the water in it, before setting it back down on the table.

Expressions ranged from shock to disbelief.

"Wow. Captain America's girlfriend is a mutant," the young woman stated.

"I'm not sure I like your tone," I snapped at her. My patience was wearing very thin. This was all a lot to process. Seeing someone you thought was dead was rather unsettling.

"Skye, be nice," Coulson warned. "Benson, this is Skye, she's a consultant. This is Agents Ward, Fitz and Simmons." He gestured in turn to the tall man, the male scientist and then the female one. Simmons waved happily. "And you've already been introduced to Agent May."

"Yes," I replied, nodding at May. I drew my mind back to the task at hand. "A telekinetic, you say? You run her blood?"

"Yes," Simmons jumped in. "She has none of the mutant markers and she has no other chemicals in her blood. No radiation, either. We can't understand how this is happening."

"Okay," I nodded. "Has anyone talked to her yet?"

Coulson shook his head. "No. We had to sedate her to get her on the plane. It should be staring to wear off now, though. Our next contact is going to be crucial, which is why I want you in there," he said to May.

She looked surprised. "Me?"

Coulson nodded. "She needs to know we aren't hiding things from her. Benson," he turned to me. "I need you to be monitoring the feed. I can't have you in there for fear of crowding her, but I need you to be ready to contain any activity if it presents. FitzSimmons will brief you on the case in the meantime."

I nodded and he and May began to leave in what I assumed was the direction of the holding cell, Coulson undoing his tie as he walked, saying something about not wanting a noose around his neck, just in case.

I stepped properly into the room and walk over to where the feed was set up.

"So, Agent Benson," Skye began. "You know Agent Coulson."

It wasn't a question but it sounded very much like one. I took a deep breath and nodded. "Coulson was my SO," I replied steadily, not taking my eyes off the feed as Coulson and May walked into the room. "Until he died." My whole body was alerted, ready to dash at the first sight that I would be needed.

Skye went quiet for a moment. The others also paused, knowing how hard it must have been for me in that moment. It is one thing to lose a fellow agent, but your SO is practically your family. I know for a fact that Darren had spent the last two thanksgivings with his SO and her family, they are that close. You trust your SO with your entire life.

"I'm sorry," Skye said, softly. "This must be..."

"You're not a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, are you, Skye?"

"Umm... Not technically..."

"Then you have no idea what it's like, really. I have been a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent for all of my adult life so far, and I have to follow orders. When you're a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, that's what you have to do. You don't question it; you do it. When I was ordered to cut my sick leave short and go to New Mexico to deal with Thor's hammer, I did it. When I was ordered to protect Director Fury, potentially at the cost of my own life, I did it. When I was ordered to leave my friends, Steve, my whole life, in New York to move to D.C., I did it. And now, I will be ordered to keep a secret from my friends, from the man that I love; a secret that could potentially destroy them all, destroy their relationship with me, and I will do it. Because I am a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. I follow orders. This is how it works, what it means to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent."

Ward was looking up at me in admiration, I noticed, when I took my eyes off the screen for a second.

* * *

Fitz and Simmons gave me the files with information on the woman – Hannah Hutchins, who was a safety inspector for a particle accelerator that blew up, killing four people and now believed that God was punishing her for it – before teasing Skye with wild stories about May. I had heard all the stories, back at the Academy. When I heard that Coulson had worked with May, I had managed to get the true story out of him, with reluctance.

After May and Coulson had finished with Ms Hutchins, they came back to the lab. We all reviewed the footage again.

"It's not uncommon to have delusions after suffering trauma," Simmons reasoned.

"She's certainly been through her fair share," I murmured, thinking back over the files I had read.

Skye folded her arms. "She's blaming herself. Its guilt."

"It's all of it." Coulson shook his head, not looking up. "She's broken." He looked up. "Pour over the accident site. If that tragedy gave her powers, we need to shut them down. If it wasn't her fault, even better, but until then, she's a danger to all of us." He walked out, Skye and May following behind.

Fitz and Simmons busied themselves in the lab and I went out to the living area to sit down.

I was sat for a minute or so when I felt a presence behind me.

"You got anything to drink in this place?" I asked.

"Yeah," Ward answered. "Anything decent? No."

I looked over at him. He was leaning against the wall, quietly.

I shrugged. "Probably shouldn't be drinking on the job anyway... It's just been a very long day."

Ward nodded and sat down opposite me. We sat in companionable silence for a while before Skye came storming out of what I assumed was Coulson's office. I looked over to Ward, who was following Skye with his eyes.

"I'd better..." he started. I nodded and he walked after her.

I watched May exit Coulson's office and decided to move before I talked myself out of it.

"Hey."

Coulson looked up from his desk and sighed.

"Hey," he answered. "I guess you're here for answers?"

I brought a chair round to the opposite side of the desk and sat down in it heavily. "What do you think?" I asked, sarcastically.

We were both quiet for a minute before he spoke.

"Clint," he began. "Is he..?"

"He checks in with me or Natasha every few weeks to let us know he's still alive," I told him. "Officially, he's on extended leave. Unofficially... I have no idea."

He looked down at his desk, silently for a while longer before changing the subject.

"So... You and Captain Rogers?"

I smiled, softly.

"Yeah," I affirmed. "Over a year now. Once we both got our heads out of our asses it was a lot easier to figure everything out."

"Good, I'm glad," he said. He looked up at me. "You deserve someone who makes you happy, Bridget."

I felt a tear come to my eye and I squash it down hurriedly. "He does," I confirm. I open my mouth but the words catch in my throat. It takes me a couple of tries before I can say them.

"What happened to you?"

Coulson dropped his gaze for a moment and then looked back up.

"I wish I knew."

"How can you not know?" I asked, incredulously.

He sighed, pushing a pen around on the desk in front of him. "Fury," he said, at last.

"Ah." I looked down, sighing. "The usual answer to 'why did this fucked-up shit happen?'"

Coulson snorted. "No, the usual answer to that question is 'Stark.'"

I laughed, nodding my head in agreement.

We are quiet for a while. I watched Coulson push the pen around.

"I miss him."

It was said so quietly that I barely heard it. I looked up and my heart broke all over again, just as it had when I was holding Clint after the battle. Coulson just looked broken.

"I know you do," I said softly. I grabbed his hand in mine.

"I don't want to keep this secret," he told me.

"I know you don't," I agreed.

"I just want him."

A tear rolled down his cheek and I was by his side, holding him, before I even registered that I moved.

"I know," I murmured, stroking his hair. "I know."

* * *

It turns out that Hannah Hutchins is not telekinetic at all, but rather is being harassed by some sort of ghost. I wouldn't have believed it either, but there was definitely something messing with us.

I had gone with Coulson while he radioed for help and sat to one side when Skye came in to look over the antiquated technology that had crapped out as Coulson tried to use it.

"Seems like a hardware issue, not firmware," Skye murmured, messing with wires. "I should be with Hannah, anyway." She looked over at Coulson, a little coldly. "No wonder she keeps screaming in there. You keep sending in the Cavalry, you're bound to get a reaction like that."

"Don't don't call her that." Coulson's reply came swiftly. I'd heard him defend May like that before. He got quite defensive over it.

"Why not? No normal person can shoot 100 Bahrain-"

"That's not how it went down," Coulson denied, leaning against the wall.

"Whatever, 20. I just don't understand –"

"She didn't have a gun. None of us did." Skye looked up at him as he cut her off. "And it wasn't a rescue or an assault, whatever they say at the academy these days. We were the welcome wagon and it went south."

Skye was quiet for a moment. "How many-?"

"Plenty," he replied. "A civilian girl and a few of our guys were stuck inside a building, being held by the followers of this gifted individual or worshippers. We never found out. May took it upon herself to get them out. Said she could fix the problem." As he spoke, Coulson walked around the table and sat down across from Skye, next to me. "So she went in," he continued, "crossed off the enemy force. Didn't say how."

"Did she lose anyone in there?" Skye asked, softly.

"Herself," Coulson replied, sadly. "May used to be different. She was always quiet, but she was warm. Fearless in a different way, getting in trouble, pulling pranks, thought rules were meant to be broken. Sound familiar?" His gaze cut across to the two of us. "But when she walked out of that building it was like that part of her was gone. I tried to comfort her, but she wouldn't tell me what went down in there."

"What did you say?" Skye asked.

"I said the words I thought she needed to hear," he said, simply.

"It's why you want her on the plane," she realized. "To see if that person is still in there somewhere."

There was a loud clatter and the door slammed shut. We all started and jumped up, running to the door. Coulson got there first and tried to open it.

"The lock is jammed," he told us.

Before we could do anything, the rest of the power went out, plunging Coulson's office into darkness.

Coulson got out a torch and slowly moved it around the room, lighting up all the corners and illuminating a man who had definitely not been in the room before.

We all stepped backwards, trying to put distance between us as he picked up the radio that Skye had been trying to fix and smashed it on the table. I tried to contain him in a field, but he just vanished, only to reappear behind me, holding a wrench to my throat, constricting my airway.

"Let me in, or let her out," the man growled at Coulson, who had grabbed Skye and pushed her behind him as he tried to calm the man.

"That's not up to us," he reasoned.

"LET HER OUT!" the man yelled, the loudness directly next to my ear hurting my eardrum. It was getting harder and harder to breathe and I struggled with the wrench, even trying to get a forcefield around him again, but he just kept flickering and the forcefield flickered out with him.

Luckily, just as I thought I was going to pass out, the man disappeared completely. I slumped to the floor, coughing and gasping for breath.

"Benson!" Coulson rushed over to me and practically lifted me to my feet, pulling me into a hug. "You ok?" he asked, worriedly.

I nodded, wiping away the tears that had been streaming down my face as I choked. "Yeah," I said, hoarsely. "You know me. I'm always ok."

He smiled at me and looked at the door behind me. "We gotta find a way outta here."

I took a few shallow breaths. "Are these doors me-proof?" I asked. Some of the S.H.I.E.L.D. doors had been made almost seamless so that people with the sort of powers I had would not be able to force their way in.

"No," Coulson denied.

"Okay," I said, nodding. "Just give me a minute to get my breath back and stand back."

"What does that mean?" Skye asked. She sounded nervous. "What's she gonna do?"

As soon as I felt I was able, I took a deep breath and extended a forcefield into the gap between the door and the doorframe. I paused. "You're not gonna make me pay for repairs, right?" I asked Coulson. He chuckled in response and I rapidly expanded the forcefield, breaking the door as it was forcibly pulled from the frame.

* * *

We managed to contact Fitz, Simmons, and Ward and release them from the closet they were locked in. Everyone shared their findings with each other and it turned out that the guy that almost choked me to death was Tobias Ford, the guy who made a lot of safety complaints against Hannah Hutchins, but actually appeared to have been loosening the bolts himself and now appeared to be trapped between dimensions as a result of the blast.

Skye had a theory that Ford actually had a crush on Hannah and was doing all this to protect her because he thought we were hurting her.

Sounded more reasonable than angry ghost, at least.

* * *

By the time we got to where they were, May had fixed the problem.

"You know," I commented to Coulson as Skye rushed to check on Hannah. "This is like Thor's hammer all over again. You call me for help and I don't actually end up doing the thing you asked me here for in the first place."

"Maybe I just enjoy your company," he replied.

I snorted. "You enjoy seeing me rip doors open. You ask me to do it at least once a mission."

"Yeah, well," he shrugged. "That never gets old."

We looked over as May came towards us.

"What did you say to him?" Coulson asked, quietly.

"The same words you said to me in Bahrain," she murmured, looking up at him, face unreadable.

He watched her go.

"You know," I said, watching May. "I have still not attempted to lift Mjolnir?" I paused. "You think if I ask Thor very nicely, he'd let me try?"

"You'll have to keep me posted," Coulson told me.

I looked at him. "Is that permission to keep in touch?" I asked.

"That's an order."

* * *

Steve was on base when I got back.

"Hey," he greeted me with a kiss. "Everything go okay? Anything to report?"

There were a thousand things I could have said. I could've said something. Anything. But I knew my place.

"Yeah, everything went okay," I replied, trying my best to act normal. "And no… nothing to report."

I knew my orders.


	14. Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I hate being the only one who knows.”

I kept updated with Coulson as often as I could in the following months. I had to do it in secret and on secure channels. No one – not even Steve – could know that I was talking to a supposed dead man. I worried about the situation and what it could mean, for everyone. But I didn't let it affect my job.

I got an unexpected phone call the week before Thanksgiving. I was half asleep and didn't even check who it was before I answered

"I hope you don't have any plans for Thanksgiving, because I have decided your honeymoon period is over and you and Captain Rogers are coming home for Thanksgiving."

"Laura?" I asked. Coulson's sister was the last person I expected when I picked up the phone. Before Coulson had "died" he used to bring me with him to holidays at his sister's, usually bringing along Natasha and Clint, as well. Steve rolled over at the side of me. I knew he would've woken up as soon as my cell rang. The slightest noise woke him; the downside of being a soldier, he told me.

"Who else?" she replied.

"How did you know about Steve?" I asked.

"Nat," she answered, simply. "Look. I know it's been a difficult year, with… Phil, and everything." She took a breath. "But I think it's time we put aside our grieving and you bring your boyfriend home to meet the family. The kids have missed you, Bridge."

I sighed. "I've missed you guys too," I told her. I looked over at Steve. He nodded. "Okay," I told her. "We'll be there."

* * *

I called Coulson when I got to the Triskelion later that day.

"I am going to Laura's for Thanksgiving," I told him.

He was silent.

"How am I going to do this, Coulson? It's enough that I have to lie to Steve, to Natasha, to Clint. Now I have to lie to your sister? To Daniel? To Cooper and Lila? I'm sick of this! I hate all the lies and the secrets. I know that this is what I signed up for when I became a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, but I didn't expect to have to keep this kind of secret."

I sighed.

"I hate being the only one who knows."

"I know," he said. "It's not easy on my side, either."

"Yeah," I murmured. "I get that. It's just… I've never been to Laura's without you… and she wants me to bring Steve!"

Coulson laughed. "That should keep you distracted, at least."

* * *

Well, I found out where Clint had been all this time.

He took a break from retiling Laura's bathroom to hug me and greet Steve with a firm clap on the back before excusing himself to get a drink.

"I kept telling him he doesn't need to earn his keep," Laura told me over a coffee while Cooper and Lila commandeered Steve to show him the house. "I gave up after he remodeled the kitchen."

"He wants to feel useful." I understood that.

She nodded. "I just think that… without Phil, he didn't know who he was. I think he's keeping himself busy while he figures it out."

* * *

Natasha joined us just before dinner. I wasn't surprised to find out she had known where Clint was all along.

"It wasn't my secret to tell," she explained.

That struck a chord.

Laura grilled Steve all the way through dinner. He kept looking at me, as if expecting me to save him, but I thought it was way too funny to stop. Things got even worse after Daniel found out Steve was Captain America. Coulson's brother-in-law shared his love for all things Captain America and the two often had tried to outdo each other with buying memorabilia.

As Daniel ran off to find his Captain America comics, I laughed so hard it hurt as Steve turned to me with a panicked look and mouthed "Help!"

After dinner, I volunteered myself and Clint to do the dishes so that I could have a minute with him alone.

"How are you doing?" I asked.

He shrugged, up to his forearms in soapy water. "I'm getting there," he replied.

I nodded. "You think you'll be up to coming back to work soon?"

He sighed, wiping the bubbles off of one arm. "I don't think I'm there yet."

"Okay," I replied. "Take as much time as you need, Clint. Just… you know me and Natasha are here for you. And Steve, Tony, Banner, Thor… They've all asked after you. They all care about you. You're a part of the team. The Avengers. The team will be there when you're ready."

* * *

I had spent my first few months in the Triskelion learning the layout back to front. I even channeled Clint and spent a few days in the air ducts. It wasn't asked of me, but I did it anyway.

My job, officially, was a Level Six freelance specialist. I didn't have a team and I was supposed to wait until a team had need of me.

Unofficially, I was a Level Nine Specialist and one of the few people that Fury had an ounce of trust in. I think I could count these people on one hand and I was glad to be one of those few.

Only Hill, Fury, and Steve knew the full specs of my job. It was even buried on the system. I still came up as a Level Six and needed a specific set of passwords for the Level Nine clearance to register, if I had need of it.

I was Fury's secret and I knew a lot of secrets. I wouldn't kid myself into thinking that Fury told me everything. Fury's secrets had secrets.

I was with Fury, waiting for Steve to return from a mission, and I was supremely bored. We both were. Not that Fury would ever admit to it, but he was leaning on his chair with his hand supporting his head. Paperwork was ridiculous and Fury made no secret of how much he hated it.

"You just can't stop yourself from lying, can you?" Steve stormed into the room, eyes on Fury.

"I didn't lie," Fury replied, not moving. "Agent Romanov had a different mission to yours."

"Which you didn't feel obliged to share," Steve countered, coming up to the desk and putting his hand on my shoulder lightly.

"I'm not obliged to do anything," Fury said, slowly, patiently.

"Those hostages could have died, Nick," Steve replied, quietly.

Fury turned at this, crossing his arms on his desk and finally looking at Steve. "I sent the greatest soldier in history to make sure that didn't happen."

"Soldiers trust each other. That's what makes it an army," Steve shot back. "Not a bunch of guys running around shooting guns."

"Last time I trusted someone, I lost an eye." Fury stood up and leaned over the desk towards Steve, who was still stood slightly behind me. I wasn't sure I liked being between these two men in a fight.

They both stared each other down for a few moments before Fury spoke again. "Look," he said. "I didn't want you doing anything you weren't comfortable with. Agent Romanov is comfortable with everything-"

"I can't lead a mission," Steve interrupted him. "When the people I'm leading have missions of their own."

"It's called compartmentalization," Fury said, glancing at me. "Nobody spills the secrets because nobody knows them all."

"Except you," Steve pointed out.

Fury straightened up, looking between me and Steve, who still had his hand on my shoulder.

"You're wrong about me," he said to Steve. "I do share." His gaze settled on me. "I'm nice like that."

* * *

Fury and I showed Steve Project Insight.

I remembered being there when Tony Stark delivered the plans for the new repulser engines for the helicarriers. He claimed that his personal relationship with the old system gave him permission to rework the new ones however he liked, just in case he had to get up close and personal with it again.

Fury told Steve about how Project Insight - three brand new helicarriers with state of the art weaponry - could track down threats and eliminate them before they developed into problems.

Steve wasn't very impressed. In fact, he got a little mad and ran off.

I knew where he'd be. It's where he always ran to when he needed to think.

I walked through the Smithsonian with purpose, coming to a stop in front of the display of Bucky Barnes and slipped my hand into his.

I didn't say anything, just offered him whatever comfort I could give.

"I don't like it," he said eventually.

"I know," I replied, evenly.

He looked at me. "You don't like it either," he noted.

I looked forward at the display. It felt like Bucky was staring at me; judging me.

"I have all the same issues with it that you do," I told him. "The project comes from the Council. We have to keep them happy. We have to look as if we're doing what they want." I looked up at him. "That's how we found you. Did I ever tell you?" He shook his head. "The Council ordered us to stop searching. Fury said yes to their faces and went on searching anyway." I paused, looking back at the display. "I've been looking into the project, Steve, and something stinks; in a bad way." I sighed. "Fury's gone to talk to Secretary Pierce, to try and postpone it."

Steve nodded. I squeezed his hand. "We'll figure it out, Steve," I promised.

We were quiet for a little while longer and I rested my head against his arm, my head coming up just above his shoulder. He lifted his arm and I snuggled into his side as he wrapped his arm around me.

"I was going to see Peggy," Steve said, softly.

I nodded. He had been to see her a few times since I found out for him where she was. It was always painful, but I think that he needed it.

"Will you come with me?" he asked, hesitantly.

I turned my head to see his face. He meets my gaze, solemnly. He had never asked me that before.

"Of course."

* * *

The staff and most of the residents that were around at the nursing home were all familiar with Steve. He remembered all of their names and asked after their families. They all met him with broad smiles and answered his questions, jovially.

I looked over at him with a small smile.

"What?" he asked, noticing me looking.

"Nothing," I replied. "Just… sometimes I wonder how you can be real… and how I got so lucky."

Before we could answer, a nurse came around the corner.

"Captain Rogers?" We both turned to look at her. "She's having a good day. She remembers your last visit."

We thanked her and Steve led me into the room.

The person lying on the bed was a thin, frail, woman, but was easily recognizable from the old photos I had seen as Agent Margaret Carter, co-founder of S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Steve!" she smiled, lifting her head, eyes shining brightly.

"Hey, Peg," Steve greeted. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. He then caught my hand and pulled me forwards. "Peg, I'd like you to meet Bridget."

"It's an honor to meet you," I told her, meaning it.

"You too," she smiled. "Steve was telling me all about you when he was here last time. You're an Agent?"

"Yes ma'am," I replied.

She snorted. "We'll have less of the ma'am," she told me. She looked over at Steve. "Steve, would you please get me a glass of water?"

He nodded. "Sure, Peg." He left the room to fetch it.

Peggy looked at me. "Would you please turn on my record?"

There was a small CD player on the table next to where I was standing. I pressed play and soft jazz music came streaming out. I turned back to her. I knew what she was doing and I knew that she knew I did.

"He might still be able to hear," I commented. "He knew when I entered the building when I came home the other day and we live on the third floor."

"I know," she replied, not looking away from me. "But we should not make it easy for him, should we?"

I smiled. "I suppose not."

Peggy was quiet for a moment. Then she took a deep breath. "Is he okay?" she asked.

I sat down on the chair next to the bed and sighed.

"Some days are worse than others," I told her. "He has nightmares. He doesn't like to be cold. He misses people. Sometimes he goes missing for hours and he's just stood in front of the Smithsonian exhibit. I think he's seen all the newsreels at least a hundred times over. It took him some time, but he's adjusting to the world now. He has a list. Did he show you his list?"

Peggy nodded, chuckling. "I got him to add I Love Lucy to the list," she admitted.

"That was you?" I asked. "I got home yesterday and he shouted from the kitchen that I had 'some 'splaining to do.'"

Peggy laughed and it turned into a cough. She soon settled, though, and looked up at me.

"You'll take care of him?" she asked.

I nodded. "Someone has to," I told her.

She smiled. "Because he won't," she finished.

We shared an amused look of women who understood each other and understood the man we both cared about.

"He's hard work," Peggy told me.

I chuckled. "Don't I know it. I've lived with him for almost two years, now. He sings in the shower and gets mad when I forget to make the bed."

She smiled softly. "So when are you going to make an honest man out of him?" she asked, pointedly.

I almost choked on the breath I was inhaling. "What?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's been two years. And it's not like Steve's going to actually get his act together and ask you. We both know the man and he's a bit clueless when it comes to women and relationships."

I looked down. "Well, it's not like I'm any better," I reasoned. "Steve's the only man I ever loved."

Just then, the door opened and Steve came through, carrying a glass of water.

"Well it's about time," Peggy teased. "Did you have to go up to the mountains to fetch it yourself?"

"If you asked me to, Peg, I would," he replied, honestly, coming over to me and resting his hand on my shoulder.

She chuckled and this sent her into another coughing fit. Steve passed her the water that he had put beside her bed and as she went to grasp it, automatically, she looked at him and I could tell, in her eyes, that something had changed.

"Steve!" she exclaimed, eyes bright. "You're alive! You came back."

Steve deflated and my heart dropped. I felt for him, so much. "Yes, Peggy," he replied, sadly.

"It's been so long," she told him. "So long."

* * *

Steve didn't want to go straight home after that. Instead, we headed to the Veterans' Association.

"I made a friend," he told me, as he climbed into the front seat of my car. We had agreed to go back to the Smithsonian for his bike on the way back before we left for the retirement home.

"Oh?" I asked, interested. I knew Steve had been lonely since coming with me to DC. He hung out with Natasha when they weren't on missions and there were guys he talked to at the gym, but he didn't really have anyone close.

"He works for the VA," Steve said. "We run the same route in mornings. I just…" He trailed off, staring out of the window as we turned off of the home's driveway and onto the road. "He understands some stuff…"

I was quiet. "Okay," I murmured.

* * *

When we got there, the man, Sam Wilson, was running a meeting. I left Steve outside the room, excusing myself to run to the bathroom.

As I stood there, in front of the mirror, I thought about what Peggy had asked.

" _You'll take care of him?"_

Every fiber of my being called out to me to care for Steve; to help him with his pain; ease his load.

If I could carry his burden myself, I would.

I would do anything for that man.

But I didn't know how to help him. I just felt so helpless sometimes.

Once, I woke up in the middle of the night to find Steve sat in the bottom of the shower, scalding water pouring down on him, skin burning bright red, and he was still shivering, having woken up from a nightmare about the ice. I dragged him back to bed with me and held him all night, making sure he knew he wasn't alone; that he wasn't back there, in the ice.

I know that without the ice, the war, his loss… there is no way that we could have ever met. But I would give him up in a heartbeat if I knew that he wouldn't have had to suffer through all of that. He has suffered so much and I don't know how he survives, most days.

But I swore to myself I will always be there to take care of him.


	15. Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know,” I commented. “I read this list once, where it recommended that legions of terror should never wear face concealing helmets for just this reason.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, stuff you recognise, I probably had to take from the film and, as such, doesn't belong to me.

I walked back to find Steve talking to the man who had been running the meeting. I hung back, not wanting to interrupt, but Steve waved me over.

"Hey Sam, this is Bridget. Bridget, this is Sam Wilson," he introduced.

"Nice to meet you," I told him, shaking Sam's hand.

"You too," he told me, before looking over at Steve. "Man, first the redhead and now the lovely brunette. You sure do have the pleasure of knowing some beautiful women."

"Easy," Steve laughed. "This one's mine."

I grinned, leaning into his side. "Plus," I added to Sam. "If it's Natasha you met, don't even go there. She could snap you like a twig."

He laughed. "I like a challenge." He checked his watch. "Anyway, I'd better be off. Don't let him run circles around you, too!" he told me, before walking away, briskly.

* * *

Steve picked up his bike and we got home within moments of each other. We were discussing what to have for dinner when we ran into Sharon in the hallway. She was carrying a load of laundry and finishing up a phone call when she saw us.

"Hi guys!" she greeted.

"Hey, Sharon," I greeted. "How you doing?"

"Not bad," she shrugged. "Laundry." She poked at her clothes with her free hand. "I'm thinking of petitioning S.H.I.E.L.D. to have a dry cleaning service. I cannot find any service in the city that doesn't ask questions about bloodstains."

I laughed. "That's what I miss about New York. Nobody asked questions about miscellaneous stains."

Sharon grinned. "Oh, by the way, I think you guys left your stereo on, or something."

I stilled for a second, and I could feel that Steve had done the same, behind me.

"Thanks," I replied, forcing myself to relax as she left down the hall.

Steve and I exchanged a glance as we listened, hearing the jazz music coming from our apartment.

We hadn't left the stereo on.

Without a word, we both headed for the fire escape.

I took the gun out of my holster and, once we got out there, Steve retrieved a small knife that he had stashed in a plant pot, sheathing it in his belt. You couldn't say that, as a couple, we weren't prepared for anything.

We entered, silently, through the window. Steve picked up his shield that was leant against the wall and slowly looked around the corner into the living room. I backed him up, ready for his signal.

Steve relaxed slightly and he motioned for me to come around. I did so and saw Fury slumped on my favorite chair.

"I don't remember giving you a key," Steve said.

Fury attempted to sit up, sounds of pain escaping him as he did so. "You really think I'd need one?"

"Sir?" I asked. "Are you okay?"

Fury leant forward, arms on his knees, holding himself up. "My wife kicked me out," he told us.

I froze.

Shit.

There were a series of code phrases I had been taught. That was one of them.

Someone was trying to kill Fury.

"I didn't know you were married," Steve said, looking at me, warily. He had noticed me freeze and I wished, not for the first time in my life that I had telepathic powers, like Professor Xavier. Life would be so much simpler if I could communicate with Steve without speaking out loud. I tried to convey how much trouble we were in with my eyes. I wasn't entirely sure it worked, but Steve looked more alert, at least.

Steve switched the light on and Fury froze, put his hand up to stop Steve moving closer and slowly turned the light back off. He typed on his smartphone for a second and then turned it to show us.

_EARS EVERYWHERE_

"I'm sorry to have to do this, but I had no place else to crash."

He typed again and when he turned the screen, I felt like the bottom of my stomach had dropped out.

_SHIELD COMPROMISED_

Steve and I exchanged a glance. This was so beyond not good.

"Who else knows about your wife?" I asked, carrying on the code.

_JUST US 3_

Fury held the screen to us as he stood up. "Just my friends," he said.

"Is that what we are?" Steve asked as Fury stepped closer. I could understand the hidden question there.  _How can I trust you?_

"That's up to you," Fury said, standing still in the middle of our living room.

At that moment, shots rang out and Fury cried out in pain, crumpling to the floor. Steve and I hit the deck, on autopilot.

I looked up as the dust started to settle and saw Fury. I wrapped a field around him and dragged him towards us, around the corner into the hallway and out of sight.

Fury grabbed Steve's wrist, passing him a flash drive. They exchanged a glance.

"Don't… Trust… Anyone…" Fury said, breaths laboring. He turned to me. "This isn't… goodbye… Benson…"

I nodded. This was another code. I knew what I had to do. I retrieved the small device from my pocket but before I could use it, the door broke down and we both looked around, ready to go on the defensive, when we heard Sharon's voice.

"Captain Rogers? Bridget?"

Through the gaps in the bookshelf I could see her approaching, gun in hand. I tensed.

When she saw us, leant over Fury, she lowered her gun. "You radioed for help?" she asked, as I subtly pressed the device to Fury's neck in the pretense of checking for a pulse. I felt the device activate, injecting him with the drug that he had given me to use in this situation.

"Didn't have time," I told Sharon. She nodded, getting out her own radio and calling for a med team.

" _Do we have a twenty on the shooter?"_ the responder asked.

Steve looked up through the window, obviously spotting something.

"Tell them I'm in pursuit," he said, before launching himself through the window.

Sharon and I exchanged glances.

"I'm not going to get my security deposit back."

* * *

Hill turned up at the hospital within minutes of Steve getting back. She told me that Fury had asked her to come earlier that day. I told her what I had done for Fury.

I knew so many codes it's a wonder I remembered my own name, sometimes.

Natasha rushed in while Fury was in surgery. I wasn't entirely sure how she found out so fast, but after a while in Natasha's company, you just generally accepted that she had ways of finding out anything.

"Is he going to make it?" she asked, not taking her eyes off of the sight behind the glass. The doctors were busy working away.

"I don't know," Steve murmured.

I exchanged a glance with Hill while Steve and Natasha discussed the shooter. This next bit would be hard. We would be winging it and I hoped to God that Fury knew what he was doing; that he had a plan.

Otherwise, we were a little screwed.

* * *

I watched Steve as he stood, watching Natasha looking over Fury's body. I took a breath, putting my arm on his, gently.

"Steve," I murmured. "Hill and I need to take him…"

He nodded.

"I-" My breath caught in my throat. "I love you. You know that?"

He turned to me. "I know," he said, quietly, placing a kiss on my forehead. "I love you too."

"I'm going to be busy for a couple of days," I told him. He knew what this meant. It meant that I was about to do something top secret and couldn't tell him about it. He hated it, but most of the time he understood. "Besides," I touched his hand that still held the flash drive. "I think you're going to be busy too."

* * *

Fury had a lot of secret bases hidden around the continent. This one wasn't the nicest, but it was the most discrete one that Hill and I knew about. The med team there had been briefed and got to work immediately once Hill administered Fury the antidote to the drug I gave him.

Hours later, seeing Fury's eyes open, I finally began to breathe a little easier.

"Told you it wasn't goodbye."

I glared at Fury.

"I could have killed you," I said, through gritted teeth. "I argued against this plan when Banner gave us the drug and you came up with it. There was no safe way to test it first. It could have had an adverse reaction or..."

"Well let's consider it tested, shall we?" Fury cut me off.

"Sir?" Hill spoke from beside me.

"Yes, Hill," Fury transferred his gaze to her. "What's going on?"

"Captain Rogers has been labeled a fugitive and S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel have been dispatched to track him down," she reported.

I took in a breath. I don't know why I was surprised. I knew it would happen. Steve was a problem that the people who had compromised S.H.I.E.L.D. would need gone. I only hoped that Natasha was with him to watch his back.

"Benson?"

I looked up. Hill and Fury were both looking at me.

"You know what you need to do," Fury told me, uncharacteristically gentle.

I nodded, leaving the room to make a call.

Tony sent me a new cell phone every six months or so. He claimed it was so that Pepper could reach me in emergencies, but I received at least one phone call every month that basically consisted of Tony asking "hypothetical" questions about whether something was legal, or if S.H.I.E.L.D. would be able to know if he did a thing. Coulson did not get paid enough to deal with Tony Stark or a regular basis.

The good thing, though, about the cell phones were that they were completely secure; Tony made sure of it. So, when I called him, I was absolutely certain that our conversation would be private.

"Agent Bridget Olivia Benson!" Tony greeted, brightly. "Missed me?"

"No time to chat Tony, I-" I paused. "How did you find out my middle name-? You know what, never mind. You know that favor I asked? I need you to do it. Now, please."

Tony paused.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Once Jarvis finishes, it can't be undone."

I took a calming breath. "I'm sure. Do it."

Tony was quiet for a few moments. "It's done," he said, finally. "Agent Bridget Olivia Benson no longer exists. Congratulations. You are officially a ghost."

I breathed out. "Thanks, Tony. Hopefully, I should be able to explain everything once this is over."

"You'd better."

I hung up the phone.

The contingency plan we were running was a last resort. It was to be done if there was no other option. If an enemy force was to infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D., Fury, as director, would be taken out first. If it looked like the attack worked, they would stop coming for him. This let him, and his knowledge, carry on being useful.

Hill couldn't just disappear. People knew her, answered to her. She answered to too many people. She couldn't just disappear.

Not like I could.

If I didn't exist, nobody had anything on me that they could use. No prints in any system, no facial recognition, no identification of any kind.

Like Tony had said, I was a ghost.

I could disappear.

* * *

"We gotta go," Hill barked, throwing clothes at me. She was dressed in a STRIKE team uniform and I noticed that the clothes that she had thrown at me were the same.

I got up from where I had been reading in a chair by the corner.

"Where?" I asked, taking off my current clothes and pulling on the STRIKE uniform. There was no time for modesty.

"The STRIKE team has assembled. They're sure they have the Captain and Black Widow cornered. We're the extraction team," Hill informed me. Hill had ears everywhere. I wasn't sure where she got all this information from but she always seemed to know everything.

I nodded. "Awesome."

I followed Hill towards the exit once I was dressed.

Time to rescue my boyfriend.

* * *

It was embarrassingly easy to take out two members of the STRIKE team and take their place. These guys were supposed to be some of the best S.H.I.E.L.D. had to offer... Awkward…

Hill managed to get into the driver's seat of the van, while I and a member of STRIKE team got into the back with Steve, Sam Wilson, and Natasha, who were murmuring amongst themselves.

Natasha leaned her head back, tiredly, and Sam looked to her, concerned, and then turned to me and the STRIKE agent.

"We need to get a doctor, here," he said. "We don't put pressure on that wound, she's gonna bleed out in-?"

I flashed my weapon, a stun baton, at him, warningly. Just then, Hill gave me the signal that we had gotten clear of the other vehicles and were en route to where we would be changing cars.

I flicked the baton at the STRIKE agent, who seized up as the electricity coursed through him, before going limp, unconscious.

The three prisoners looked at me in shock as I took off the helmet that covered my face.

"You know," I commented. "I read this list once, where it recommended that legions of terror should never wear face concealing helmets for just this reason."

"Bridget!" Steve exclaimed.

"Hey!" I grinned. "Miss me?"

* * *

We pulled up in front of the base and Hill and I led them in. Natasha was being supported by Steve and Sam. I had offered to float her in, but she turned me down.

"Last time you dropped me," she scowled.

"That was because Steve threw an apple at my head!" I said, defensively. "It was his fault!"

Sam looked to Steve. "Why did you throw an apple at your girlfriend's head?" he asked, curiously.

"She said she was hungry!" he answered, as if that were a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Hill had radioed ahead for a doctor to meet us, which he did.

"GSW," Hill shouted down the corridor to him as he came running towards us. "She's lost at least a pint."

"Maybe two," Sam added.

"I'll take her," the doctor told us.

I shook my head. "She'll want to see him first."

We kept going down the hallway and I drew back the curtain around Fury's bed.

He lifted his head up, slowly. Natasha and Steve had stopped still, shocked.

"About damn time," Fury grumbled.

* * *

Fury, Hill, and I explained everything that we could. Steve and Natasha told us everything they had found out at Steve's old training camp; about Zola, HYDRA infiltrating S.H.I.E.L.D. from the beginning, and their plans to use Project Insight to eliminate all threats to themselves.

Steve also told us about Bucky and the Winter Soldier.

I took him to one side while the doctor assessed whether Fury was well enough to get out of bed.

"Bucky?" I asked. "Are you sure?"

Steve looked so small. How such a huge man could make himself look so small, I don't know, but he did.

"It was him, Bridge," he insisted. "And he looked right through me. He didn't know me. Whatever Zola did to him back in '43… that must be how he survived the fall; why he's still alive today…"

Steve went quiet. I put my hand on his arm, uncertain whether he would accept comfort from me right now. He didn't pull away, so I stepped closer, holding him tightly.

* * *

"I have something to tell you," Steve said, hesitantly, as we were walking back towards where Fury, Sam, and Natasha were waiting.

"Yeah?" I asked, warily.

"I… I kissed Natasha," he blurted out. "It was a distraction, to stop Rumlow from seeing us…"

I stopped dead.

"Natasha?" I repeated.

"…Yes?" Steve said.

"You kissed Natasha?"

"Yes, and I am so sorr-"

"Fucks sake, Steve!" I yelled. "If you had to kiss someone, at least it could've been someone I could beat up! I can't take Natasha! She'd break me in half and they'd never find my body!"

Steve looked at me in shock for a minute, before looking bemused. "So what you're saying," he said. "Is that next time, I should kiss someone you are able to beat up?"

"If there's a next time," I growled. "It's your body they won't find."

I walked off, Steve following, chuckling.

* * *

We ran through the plan and Hill showed us what she had spent the last few days doing when she presented us with 3 chips that would recalibrate the targeting system on the helicarriers. It would be Steve and Sam's job to do that, after they released the message that HYDRA had infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. Natasha would be replacing one of the women on the WSC, using a fancy gadget Stark Industries had recently sent us that would change her voice and face to match the councilwoman's.

I would go straight to the control room and try to stop the launch before it even happened, in case the agents there weren't able to take the stand against the HYDRA agents.

* * *

I ran through the base, uncaring of the looks I was getting, only caring about getting to the control room as soon as I could. As I ran up a flight of stairs, I spotted Kate and Darren on the next flight up and headed their way.

"Bridget!" Kate exclaimed, shock ringing in her voice. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be trying to find Steve! Did you hear what they've been saying about him?"

"No time," I told them. "HYDRA has infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D."

There was a stunned silence while the two of them took this information in.

"Are you sure?" Darren whispered, coming closer to me.

I nodded. "We got definitive proof. Pierce is HYDRA and..." I hesitated, looking at Kate. "So is Sitwell."

Kate was taken aback. "You-what?" she stumbled. "No..."

I nodded, sadly. "I'm so sorry. We're about to blow the lid on all of this and we have to try and help the agents that'll stuck in the crossfire. Are you with me?"

Darren and Kate nodded. I turned, making to move forward when two shots rang out in quick succession. I didn't even have time to react.

After that, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I automatically pulled the dart out of my neck, flinching slightly at the pain, but more worried about the way my head started to spin and my vision blurred. I turned to Darren, who was looking down at where blood was blooming on his shirt. The bullet had gone straight through his chest. He looked up at me and our gazes met for a split second before his knees buckled and he pitched forward. My heart lurched and I felt sick.

"No!" I screamed.

My legs wobbled but I managed to turn to check on Kate. I needed to see whether she was okay.

What I saw made my blood run cold.

Kate was okay.

She was holding a gun in either hand, one pointed at me and the other still pointed at where Darren had been a second before.

She looked me in the eye.

"Hail HYDRA," she said, coldly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry...
> 
> ...
> 
> Don't hate me...
> 
> ...
> 
> Please comment?
> 
> :)


	16. Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, I guess there’s no way to know if you can trust me or not,” she began. “But what does your gut instinct say?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter! Hopefully this makes up for it!

"N-no-" I denied. "Kate..."

I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. Kate had been my best friend for fourteen years. This had to be some sort of trick.

"Where is Steve Rogers," Kate demanded, swapping hands and training the handgun on me, stowing the dart gun in her holster.

"Kate... Darren..." I motioned slowly to the still form on the floor. "He-"

"-Is not important right now," Kate growled. "Tell me where Steve Rogers is, Bridget!"

" _Attention all S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, this is Steve Rogers."_ Steve's voice came over the PA system, startling Kate, who looked around, as if expecting him to be behind her. Whatever was in the dart was seriously messing me up. I could barely stand by this point. I staggered back a few steps and leaned against the wall. Kate's head snapped back around to me as soon as she heard me move.

" _You've heard a lot about me in the last few days. Some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it's time you knew the truth."_  He paused. I closed my eyes; the spinning room was making me feel sick _._

" _S.H.I.E.L.D. is not what we thought it was. It's been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The STRIKE and Insight crew are HYDRA as well. I don't know how many more. But I know they're in the building. They could be standing right next to you."_

At this point, I opened my eyes, trying to ignore the blur and dizziness and focusing my gaze on Kate.

" _They almost have what they want. Absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won't end there. If you launch those helicarriers today HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way. Unless we stop them. I know I'm asking a lot but the price of freedom is high. Always has been. But it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not."_

"Does that answer your question?" I asked.

Kate came forward and brought her knee up to my abdomen. The drug was making me too slow to react physically and the field I automatically raised to shield me formed for less than a second, breaking instantly with the force of her blow.

I fell to the floor, clutching my torso. I was almost certain she'd broken one of my ribs. "W-what-?" I gasped, as soon as I could breathe.

"Good stuff, right?" I could hear the smile in her voice, even though I wasn't facing her. "This nice little drug has been in development for over a year. It won't kill you and it won't render you unconscious. It will, however, leave you too fuzzy to properly use your powers for a while. Your powers are going to be very useful to HYDRA, Bridget. You're going to be such a huge help to us."

"Kate… please…" I pleaded with her. This could not be real.

"Of course," she continued. "I was supposed to capture you and report to Sitwell, but after what you just told me, I don't think that's going to happen." She smirked. "Lucky you. You get the VIP treatment."

A shot rang out in the quiet stairway. The smirk frozen on her face, Kate crumpled, hitting the floor. I turned and Darren was holding his gun in shaky hands. I ran over to him as fast as I could without risk of falling over or throwing up due to the unknown drug in my system.

"Darren!" I cried, falling to my knees at his side.

He turned his head to look at me.

"Take them down," he whispered, hoarsely.

I nodded, tears running down my face as I watched the light leave his eyes.

I wanted to sit there and cry. I was sat in an empty stairwell with the dead bodies of my two best friends; one a HYDRA spy who murdered her boyfriend and tried to take me hostage. The government organization I worked for was corrupt at the highest level and I now no longer existed.

It was a bad day.

I stood up, doing my best to ignore the spinning and activated my comm.

"Hill?"

She answered almost immediately. "Benson? Status? The helicarriers launched."

"I'm at the third floor stairwell. HYDRA spy hit me with a dart. I've been drugged," I told her, leaning against the wall to keep myself upright.

"Shit," Hill responded. "Can you walk?"

I tried to move. My stomach lurched and my vision swam. The drug seemed to be affecting me more and more each moment. I could hear gunfire and shouting from every part of the building.

"I'm gonna have to try," I told her.

"Stay where you are!" Hill ordered. "It's chaos out there. If you get into the middle of it, incapacitated, you stand no chance."

"What else am I supposed to do, Maria?" I snapped. "Let all these people die? Good agents? Agents who signed on, thinking they were fighting the good fight?"

Hill was silent for a moment before I could hear her sigh.

"Don't die," she told me.

"I'll try," I replied, dryly.

The door to the floor above me banged open and a woman stumbled through, using the door for cover as she shot at someone on the other side. After a few shots, she slammed the door shut and leaned against it, gaining her breath back, and I saw who it was.

"Sharon!" I blurted.

She opened her eyes and saw me on the flight of stairs below.

"Bridget!" she exclaimed, propelling herself away from the door and flying down the stairs towards me. She got to my level and took in Darren and Kate's bodies at my feet.

"It's been a long day," I sighed. I took a step towards her and almost fell over. She was by my side in seconds. "I've been drugged," I explained.

"Shit. You need to get out of here," Sharon insisted.

"I need to help," I told her.

"You're no use to anyone dead!" she said. "I'm getting you out of here and you are not arguing with me. I am not explaining to Steve why I let his girlfriend go out into combat after being drugged and get herself killed."

I sighed. "How do I know I can trust you?" I asked. "The girl who has been my best friend for the last fourteen years just turned out to be a HYDRA spy. I've barely known you a year."

Sharon glanced at the bodies at my feet again as she supported me. "Well, I guess there's no way to know," she began. "Just what your gut instinct says."

I studied her for a few moments. In the end, I went with my gut.

"Okay," I said. "Get me to Hill."

* * *

We were nearly out of the Triskelion, with no major injuries – which was by no means an easy feat – when I felt an all too familiar feeling come over me, taking over the feeling the drug gave me.

"No…" I groaned, stopping Sharon for a moment while my head swam. "She said the drug was supposed to keep me conscious!"

"Bridget?" Sharon hovered over me, concerned, but also looking out for threats. "What's going on?"

I felt around for my glucose, but couldn't find any; they must have fallen out somewhere. "I don't think HYDRA took my ridiculous metabolism into account," I told Sharon. "The drug they gave me was supposed to keep me conscious but restrict my powers, so they could interrogate me. I think my powers have been trying to come through and it's been pushing my metabolism into overdrive. I'm burning through the drug but at this point, the drug was the only thing keeping me conscious. So, I'm really sorry, but I think I'm gonna pass out." I looked to her apologetically. "You'll be better off leaving me and getting out of here," I told her.

Sharon narrowed her eyes. "If you think I am leaving you here, you're crazy," she remarked. She bent down and swept me up into a fireman's lift. "Feel free to pass out whenever you like," she commented, as she made a break for it.

I followed her orders.

* * *

I woke up in the hospital bed that Fury had spent the last several days in. I turned my head to see Fury sat in the chair next to me.

"Hey, Benson," he said, casually. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a truck," I replied. I tried to get up and winced.

"Hill didn't want to risk taking you to a hospital," Fury told me. "Technically, you don't exist anymore."

I nodded. "Where's Steve?" I asked.

Fury said nothing. I sat up, ignoring the pain. "Where's Steve?" I repeated. "Is he okay?"

"He's alive," Fury stated. "He's in pretty rough shape. He's in the hospital."

I swung my legs out of the bed.

"Benson," Fury scowled, getting to his feet. "You're in no shape to-"

"How long?" I asked.

"Benson-" Fury growled.

"How long was I out?" I demanded. "How long has Steve been in the hospital?"

Fury's eye met my gaze and we stared each other down, silently. Finally, after what seemed like an age, Fury conceded, probably grudgingly accepting that I did have the right to know.

"You were out for 30 hours," he said. "Captain Rogers was found on the river bank around five hours after Agent Carter got you to Hill."

"What happened?" I asked. "Did we do it?"

Fury nodded and proceeded to explain what I had missed.

* * *

I didn't have appropriate credentials anymore to get into the hospital to see Steve, once I had gotten to the point where I could actually walk. Instead, I waited around the corner of the hospital, keeping an eye out for my target. When I spotted him, I sprung into action. Wrapping my scarf around my head securely and making sure my shades were in place, I walked towards Sam Wilson, hooking my arm through his when I caught up to him.

He started, but I calmed him. "Don't panic. It's just me," I murmured.

"Jeez! Bridget?" Sam gasped. "Way to give a man a heart attack!"

"Sorry. I just… I can't get in to see Steve. How is he?"

"He's not woken up yet. But he's healing at what I can only assume is his normal rate, which is inhumanly fast. But why can't you get in? You're his girlfriend…" he started.

"Who was a part of the corrupt intelligence organization that tried to kill thousands of people a few days ago," I returned. "You can understand why the US government is having some trust issues right now."

He nodded. "So you need me to get you in?"

I sighed. "I should say no. That I shouldn't risk it. That would be the sensible thing… But… It's Steve…" I took off my shades so that I could look him in the eye. "Yes. I want you to get me in."

* * *

The plan consisted of Sam convincing some friends from the VA to cause a distraction, trying to get in to see Steve, while Sam snuck me in, wearing borrowed scrubs from a supply closet down the hall.

It was stupidly easy. The sooner Steve could get out of here, the better. If HYDRA agents wanted to get at Steve, the guards wouldn't be able to stop them.

Sam kept watch while I rushed over to the bed. Steve did look in bad shape. I'd never seen him so shocking. Usually bruises faded within hours, but, almost two days later, the ones marring his face looked disturbingly bad.

I reached down to grab his hand, gently, feeling tears prickle the corner of my eyes.

"Hey, Steve," I murmured. "I'm sorry I haven't been here for you. I was kinda… unconscious. I hope you'll forgive me."

I used my other hand to brush his hair off of his face, cupping his cheek for a few moments as I bent to press a kiss to his forehead.

"I love you," I said softly.

"…love you too," came the hoarse reply.

I blinked and pulled back. "Steve?"

His eyes fluttered open and he gazed up at me, tiredly.

"Hey, Bridge," he murmured.

"Oh, God, Steve," I said, as I openly started to cry. I threw my arms around him, careful of his injuries. "When Fury told me you were in the hospital… I… If I lost you, Steve… I can't…"

"Hey," he said, soothingly, his arms coming around me. "You didn't lose me. I'm fine. I'll be good to get out of here in a couple of days, tops."

I nodded, clinging to him like I was afraid to let go. I felt more than heard him murmur something and my head came up to look at him.

"What?"

Steve looked at me, not blinking.

"Marry me?"

I gaped at him, my mouth moving like a fish.

"I've been thinking about it a lot, recently," Steve said. "And I had a few conversations with Natasha while we were on the run where she pointed out that all my reasons for being scared about this were stupid. I'm not scared anymore." He took my hand. "Marry me."

I blinked and took a breath.

"Yes."

"Yes?" Steve looked as if he wasn't sure that was actually my answer.

"Yes," I confirmed, shaking slightly. "I'll marry you."

Steve's grin was contagious and I felt my own lips stretching into a smile so wide it hurt my cheeks while tears slid down my face. He clutched the back of my head and pulled me down for a kiss.

"As honored as I am to have been witness to this, and congratulations, by the way," Sam interrupted. "But if you don't want your fiancée to get arrested, she needs to go, like now."

I reluctantly parted from Steve with one more quick kiss. "I'll see you when you get out," I told him.

"We'll have to find a new place to live," he pointed out.

"We'll find something," I promised. "I know a multi-billionaire with a spare room or fifty."

Steve groaned and I chuckled as I followed Sam out of the room to stealthily escape.


	17. Reboot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you think it’s going to be like, now?” I asked. “I mean… It’s all going to be different. HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. secrets up in the air. S.H.I.E.L.D. needs a complete reboot. Nobody’s going to trust us.”
> 
> “No,” Coulson agreed. “We’ll do what we can. It’ll be better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am so sorry this has been so long! I moved house and went on holiday! And this would've been up hours ago, but my sister brought her goddaughter round to see me and she is fifteen weeks old and so adorable! I got distracted by 11lb of cute baby! I'm sorry!

 

Sam was nice enough to let Steve and I stay with him for a few days once Steve got out of the hospital. Steve was out of the hospital for twenty-four hours when I got a call from Fury.

"We have to save the bus team," he began. The bus team was what we referred to Coulson's team as when other people, especially those with enhanced hearing, were around. Coulson was the conductor and May was the bus driver. I found it rather entertaining at the time. "They need our help," he continued.

"How do you..." I began. "You know what, I'm not even gonna ask how you know. Give me thirty minutes."

"Make it twenty," he said as he ended the call.

"You're leaving?"

Steve was stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom we were staying in with a cup of coffee cradled in his hands.

"Yeah," I answered, getting to my feet and shoving things I'd salvaged from our ruined apartment into a bag.

"Bridge," he said, slowly. "S.H.I.E.L.D. is no more. You don't work for them anymore. You don't have to do this."

I sighed and turned to him. "Steve, this is not over. HYDRA is still out there, growing heads as we speak. S.H.I.E.L.D. may have fallen, but this is something I can do. I can help. Are you really going to tell me that you intend to just let all this lie and get on with life? That you're not going to go after any remaining HYDRA bases, or agents?"

Steve said nothing; just dropped his gaze and I knew I'd won.

I walked up to him, hoisting my bag onto my shoulder. I took the mug from him and put it on the dresser before stepping into a hug. "I hate that it's this soon," I confessed, head resting on his lovely pectoral muscles. "You just got out of the hospital. We've barely had any time to rest. We don't know the extent of all of this yet. But I promise I'll be back."

We had agreed, at the beginning of our relationship that we wouldn't make promises or say goodbyes before leaving on a mission, but the last few days had been difficult, for the both of us. I had almost lost him, and he had almost lost me. Things were different now and I felt like I needed to say it; we both needed to hear it.

Steve held me tighter for a moment, before bending his head for a kiss. The kiss held a lot of promises.

I would definitely be back.

* * *

 

We were searching for hours when we picked up a signal, and had just reached the coordinates when two figures, one holding the other above the waves, broke the surface of the water.

As we got closer, I recognized the two figures as Fitz and Simmons, from Coulson's team. I snapped into action, wrapping a forcefield around them and lifting them up to the jet. I was careful to steady the field, as I wasn't able to make it completely water-free.

Fitz had been unconscious when we got there and Simmons lost consciousness sometime between me setting up the field and them reaching the jet.

Luckily, Fury had brought along his med team, the same people who had worked on both him and me. He knew he could trust them, which is why be brought them along.

The team declared Simmons stable, but in need of decompression and brought out a hyperbaric chamber from somewhere. I had no idea where the jets store these things. I mean, it's not like a hyperbaric chamber is standard jet equipment…

Fitz was more difficult. The doctors threw terms at us. Infarction. Hypoxia.

Fury and I left them to work on him, worrying about crowding.

Simmons woke with a gasp as we approached. She immediately started to panic and I rushed over.

"Dr Simmons!" I walked to where she could see me from her position and carried on, soothingly. "Dr Simmons. You're in decompression on a jet back to the mainland. Do you remember me?"

She nodded, trying to calm her breathing. "Agent Benson. Yes." She gazed over my shoulder and caught sight of Fury. "They told us you were dead."

"Good," he replied. "Want word to get around on that."

Simmons's expression turned to one of worry. "Fitz!" she cried and attempted to move.

"Easy, easy," I said soothingly. "There's a full med team with him. But you have to stay in this chamber, okay?"

"Is he okay?" she asked, tearfully.

"His brain was without oxygen for a long time," Fury told her. "But you saved him."

She settled back, still looking worried. "It was more the other way around," she said. "How did you find us?"

"That makeshift beacon of yours… good thinking," Fury told her. "Led us right to you. Lucky we were looking."

"You were looking?" Simmons looked between the two of us.

"For my man Coulson," Fury replied. "I understand you're involved in a dispute I might want to weigh in on. Do you have anything that might lead me to him?"

Simmons told us what she could about what had been going on; about a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent called John Garrett being the Clairvoyant, who the bus team had been hunting for months, and who had had Coulson kidnapped and tortured; about Agent Ward being HYDRA and the one who had dropped them into the middle of ocean, leaving them for dead; about Project Centipede, which was trying to create super soldiers in the vein of Captain America. She also told us about the tracker Fitz had left on the bus.

* * *

 

When we got to the location the tracker said the bus was, we ended up walking into a firefight. Barely twenty seconds into entering the building Phil Coulson was at my feet.

"I could make a joke about having men at my feet, but I feel a joke at a time like this would be remembered, and I'm too worried it'll be so lame I'll be embarrassed about it for years," I said, conversationally.

Coulson just looked up at me, as if I'd just sprung up out of the earth. "Benson?"

"You look like you could use help."Fury stepped up from behind me.

"Sir?" Coulson asked, incredulously.

"You don't have to call me "sir," Coulson," Fury said. "Look at me. I'm dressed like I live under a bridge."

I snorted. It was kind of true. It was strange to see Fury out of his trademark leather and without the eye patch. He had kind of a hobo look going on right now.

I was feeling strange just being on a mission out of uniform. Instead, I was wearing yoga pants and Kevlar. It was a new look I was rocking the Hell out of, if I did say so myself. It'd be hitting the catwalks in Milan in no time, I was sure.

"What are you doing here?" Coulson asked the two of us.

"Well, Simmons turned us on to that old-timey tracker Fitz left on your bus," Fury told him.

Gunshots rang out from a short distance away. We all kept an eye out, but Fury continued as if he hadn't been interrupted.

"I went to great pains to make sure you didn't die the first time."

"Well," Coulson replied. "Now's probably not the best time, but... I'd like to have a lengthy conversation with you about that."

The gunshots continued. Coulson didn't even blink.

"It might get loud," he warned.

"And I owe you that," Fury agreed. "But right now, we owe Garrett a punch in the teeth, wouldn't you say? Benson slept through the last fight. She should be itching to get into this one."

I scowled at him. "I am not apologizing for getting tranqued by my HYDRA agent best friend."

Coulson turned to me, as if wanting an explanation.

"Talk later. Shoot now," I prompted.

Fury grinned. "Oh, and I figured you might want this." He brought out the weapon that Coulson had used on Loki two years earlier. "It packs a pretty good punch."

Coulson smiled and took the gun.

"I know what it does."

* * *

 

John Garrett was stopped when Skye managed to give Mike Peterson his free will back by proving to him that his son was okay and out of HYDRA's hands. I was the only one that flinched when the Deathlok robotic foot came down on Garrett. Fury and Coulson didn't even twitch.

I stood by Coulson as the military removed all the enhanced soldiers from the area. Fury had made himself scarce, not wanting the military to see him, but had allowed me some more time with Coulson to tell him about Fitz and Simmons, as well as "any other pressing news I had to share", which made me wonder how Fury got his information. Seriously.

Agent May came up to us, a marine restraining Grant Ward behind her. I remembered when I first met Ward. We had a conversation, but I didn't really know what to think. The man was one hell of an actor, getting Coulson and his team to trust him, to care for him, and all the time working against them. Seeing what he did to Fitz and Simmons; seeing Simmons sobbing over Fitz's prone body when she was allowed out of the hyperbaric chamber… I would never forgive the man for what he had done.

Coulson looked at Ward, assessing his injuries with calm fury behind his eyes, before glancing over at May.

"You get a chance to express all your feelings?" he asked her.

"Is he still breathing?" she returned, calmly.

Coulson looked back to Ward. "I guess she kept some of it to herself," he told the traitor.

May walked over to the other side of Coulson. "He's having trouble speaking," she told him. "I think I fractured his larynx," she remarked, unconcerned, a slight smile crossing her features.

"Ah, good." Coulson walked over to Ward. "Your attempt to cross off Fitz and Simmons failed," he told Ward. "But Fitz may never be the same again. So I'm going to invent new ways to ruin the rest of your life and we will do whatever's necessary to get HYDRA intel from you. But your torture? That's gonna be internal."

"And a little bit external," May interrupted, a bloodthirsty glint in her eye. Whatever she did to Ward earlier had clearly not sated her need for revenge.

"Sure," Coulson agreed, not taking his eyes off Ward. "Some of that. But you devoted your entire life to a deranged narcissist who never gave a damn about anyone. And now he's dead and you've got the rest of your life to wrestle with the question: who are you, without him?"

Coulson stared down Ward for another few moments before motioning to the marine to take him away.

"So…" I broke the silence after a minute or so. "I have something to tell you," I said to Coulson.

Coulson didn't even look at me.

"You know," he commented, so offhand that I wasn't even sure that he had acknowledged that I'd spoken to him. "I should know by now to not bet with Fury."

"What?" I asked, nonplussed.

"I mean, when I thought he was dead, at least there was a good side. That I would not have to pay up when you got engaged. But now it looks like I owe the man 200 bucks."

My jaw dropped and May who was still beside me, stifled a chuckle.

"You bet against me?!" I screeched.

"Well it has been over two years, Benson!" he pointed out. "And I knew you were never going to say anything to him. I thought that if, after two years, Captain Rogers hadn't asked you, it just wouldn't happen… It was a natural assumption!" he said, defensively.

"Yeah, well," I sniffed. "Apparently it took Natasha to get the idea into his stupid skull, so I shouldn't really be that offended."

There was a few moments silence. May wandered off to go look for Skye, seeming to understand that Coulson and I needed a minute.

"How is… everyone?" he asked.

"Okay," I answered, honestly. I knew the person he most wanted to know about was the one person I hadn't been able to give him much insight on, recently. "You know Clint's been living with Laura?"

He started. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I found out when I went over for Thanksgiving. Things got a little crazy and I didn't get a chance to tell you. Laura told me that he's been trying to earn his keep. The house looks different. She says that she keeps coming home and he's started a different project. Her and Daniel just let him get on with it. And you know Cooper and Lila love having him around. He's teaching Cooper how to use a bow and he's promised to teach Lila when she's a little older. You know that girl will not be left out."

Coulson smiled, lost in remembrance for the family he had to leave behind.

"Laura's pregnant again," I told him. He looked up.

"She is?" His smile got brighter and a tear came to his eye.

I nodded, and then hesitated. "You have to tell them."

Coulson looked away, his face darkening. "I know," he admitted. "It's just not the right time…"

"When will it ever be the right time, Coulson? Just… I cannot marry Steve with this secret around my neck. I can't. Please don't make me." My eyes grew wet with unshed tears. I held them back, refusing to let them go. "HYDRA know you're alive. The freakin' government knows you're alive. It's only a matter of time before the Avengers – and by that I mean Natasha or Tony, because you know it'll be one of them – find out. And if they do… you know that is not an ideal situation…"

"I know."

I inched myself closer and leaned into him, offering whatever comfort I could.

"Just…" Coulson started, before trailing off with a sigh. "Just give me time. Let me get my head straight and hunt down HYDRA. Then I'll tell them."

"Good." I nodded. "Because I kinda wanted to ask you to walk me down the aisle," I smiled at him and he looked at me, smiling, and I don't think I imagined the tear pricking the corner of his eye as he nodded in agreement, hugging me.

"I would be honored," he told me. "I'll tell them, don't worry."

"Yeah, because the news should come from you."

"Yeah," he agreed. "That's what I told Sif."

"You've seen Sif?" I asked, looking at him.

Coulson laughed. "You got high enough clearance to hear about my missions?"

I poked him. "Dude, until Fury made you Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., my clearance was higher than yours."

We stood, companionably looking at the marines bagging up what was left of the HYDRA base around us.

"What do you think it's going to be like, now?" I asked. "I mean… It's all going to be different. HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. secrets up in the air. S.H.I.E.L.D. needs a complete reboot. Nobody's going to trust us."

"No," Coulson agreed. "We'll do what we can. It'll be better."

We stood in silence for a few moments before I broke it with a shocked realization that I think had been slowly creeping up on me for days.

"Dude. I'm gonna be a married lady. I'm a nearly-married lady!"

Coulson laughed. "Come on, nearly-married lady. I'll convince one of these marines to get us some coffee."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided not to use much of S2 of AoS, which might be a relief to those who don't watch it (like my brother, who came to me the other day and told me that he 'accidentally' read my fanfic, before realising it was mine...). It's just too involved and I couldn't think of a way to involve it and Age of Ultron, and I need to do Age of Ultron (which is coming up in next few chapters btw!). I'll be winding down the fic to an end after AoU, just as a warning!


	18. You Share, I Share

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just because you love someone else now; it doesn't make your past love invalid,” I told him. “You have to treasure that love; trust that it has shaped you into the kind of person you are today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We begin the descent into Age of Ultron!
> 
> Warning: If you are easily distressed, I suggest you skip the first part of this chapter, and read from the first line break!

I woke up knowing something wasn't right. I opened my eyes, waiting for them to adjust to the darkness; I didn't want to turn on the light, to wake Steve up, just in case it was nothing. When my eyes had adjusted, I slipped out of bed as quietly as I could and padded in to our living area.

All of the rooms that Tony has given The Avengers had little living areas attached - a small kitchen/living/diner. It suited Steve and I quite well. Even after living together for nearly three years, neither of us had learned to cook; we depended on our ridiculous metabolisms to make up for the fact that we consumed mainly take out and microwave meals.

I walked quietly over to the refrigerator to pour myself a glass of juice when a voice from behind me stopped me cold.

"Nice place, Bridge. Tony Stark treats his friends nicely, I see."

I turned slowly, every part of me dreading to see what my mind knew: that the voice belonged to someone who should be dead.

Kate was perched nonchalantly on the arm of the couch as she used to do so many nights when we lived together.

"You're dead," I protested, the word feeling like lead in my mouth.

Kate snorted. "Bridget, please. You really think someone with my powers couldn't make you see exactly what I you wanted you to see?" She got off the couch standing up to face me.

"You think you're close to the end," she told me. "You think you've almost won. You're not even close. Cut off one head and another grows in its place... and you and your merry little band of superheroes has been chopping off heads all willy-nilly. That's a lot of new heads... Heads that have a very short list of people to blame for the way things went and guess who's on that list?" Kate brought up her hands, holding a gun, aiming at me steadily.

I tried to call up my powers but nothing happened. I felt completely helpless as I did back in the Triskelion, calling on powers that refused to answer me, and I knew it was no good. There was nowhere I can run, or hide, or dodge behind in time.

There was nothing I could do.

I closed my eyes and waited for it to happen.

There was a shout of "No!", the sound of bare feet pounding on laminate floor, and a gunshot. My eyes snapped open and I viewed the scene in front of me in horror.

Steve was sprawled on the floor at my feet, having taken the bullet meant for me. His eyes were open, unseeing.

My legs collapsed from under me and my knees hit the floor with some force, but I didn't feel it. I was numb. Everything faded around me. I saw nothing but Steve.

I screamed.

* * *

I was still screaming as I woke up, jolting upright. Steve's arms came around me immediately, pulling me to his chest. My screaming degenerated into incoherent sobs, while Steve tried to soothe me, murmuring calming words into my hair as he rocked me back and forth.

"It's okay," Steve murmured, pressing comforting little kisses to the parts of me he could reach while not loosening his grip on me in the slightest. "You're okay. It was just a dream, Bridge. You're okay..."

It seemed to take me forever to calm down; to convince myself that it was just a dream.

"Steve?" I asked, tentatively, once I had calmed down enough for words to be coherent, even though I was still shaking. "Kate... She... They went back and noted the dead. They got a body, right? I... She... She's definitely dead?" I almost didn't want to know the answer.

Steve ran his fingers through my hair. "Yes. They found her body, and Darren's, in the stairwell. She's gone, Bridge. She can't hurt you anymore."

I was quiet for a moment. "It wasn't me she wanted to hurt, Steve," I murmured. "She wanted me to go with her. HYDRA wanted me for some reason... But it was you she wanted to hurt. HYDRA wanted you dead and she wasn't too worried about being the one carrying out the orders."

Steve didn't say anything; he just held me tighter.

"She's definitely gone?"

Steve sighed. "Do you want me to fetch the files? So you can see the proof with your own eyes? Would that make you feel better?"

I closed my eyes. "Yeah. I think so."

Steve nodded, continuing to hold me. After another minute, he asked, "You going to go back to sleep?"

I snorted. "Doubtful."

"Pancakes?" he asked.

I turned to look at him. "It's not my birthday," I pointed out.

"No," he agreed. "But I think you need pancakes. I think there's some pancake mix in the cupboard..."

I raised my eyebrows. "You're  _making_ pancakes? Should I fetch the fire extinguisher?" I grinned.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Oh, haha." He paused. "Is it in the coat closet?"

"Yes," I confirmed.

He sighed. "Grab it."

* * *

After we came back from the 24-hour diner a few blocks down, everyone else was starting to wake up.

We saw Dr Banner and Natasha heading towards the Hulk room for morning training. Ever since the Avengers got back together and started hunting down HYDRA, things had been a little difficult with Banner. The rest of the team made it clear that they would appreciate the Hulk's help on missions. Banner made it clear that he didn't trust 'the other guy' as far as he could throw him. They ended up making a compromise. Natasha worked with Hulk every morning, implanting suggestion in his mind so that she could bring Banner back when Hulk's job was over. However, Banner wasn't completely satisfied with this, so Tony had been working on a 'Hulkbuster' that could contain him if Natasha's trick didn't work.

Tony was stumbling, bleary-eyed, from his workshop when we sat down in the kitchen that was used by us all when we wanted to share meals.

"You're still awake?" I asked, although I had been living with him for a couple of weeks now; that shouldn't surprise me. "How long have you been working?"

Tony blinked at me. "What day is it?" he ventured.

I sighed. "And the answer is: too long. Tony. Go to bed."

He shook his head. "No. Coffee. Coffee is good." He headed towards the coffee machine.

"No," I corrected. "Sleep. Sleep is good."

Tony ignored me, reaching for the coffee pot. His hand bounced off the forcefield I erected around the pot. In his sleep-deprived state, he tried twice more to grab the coffee pot, before seeming to realize that it was my fault that he could not caffeinate himself.

He turned to me, looking completely pathetic. " _Coffee…"_  he whined.

"Go to bed, Tony," I insisted.

"But-"

"Bed!" I said, firmly.

Tony stomped off, grumbling under his breath.

"Jarvis?" I called.

"Yes, Ms Benson?" the AI replied.

"Can you please make sure that Tony actually ends up in bed?" I asked.

"Of course, Ms Benson."

"Oh, and Jarvis?" I added, before I could forget.

"Yes, Ms Benson?"

I looked over at Steve, grinning. "We need a new fire extinguisher in our room."

* * *

I was sat on the couch in our rooms when Steve came back later that day, having gone out to get the files on the deceased confirmed HYDRA agents, and handed me said files.

"I haven't looked at them," he told me. "I wasn't sure if you'd want me to…"

I shook my head. "I don't know… Part of me isn't even sure  _I_ want to look at it…"

I tapped my fingers nervously on the files, debating with myself. Eventually, I decided. I needed to see.

The names were in alphabetical order. At least that made it easier. As I skimmed through, some names stood out to me; colleagues that I thought I trusted. I got to 'McAshton, Katherine Eileen' and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. She was gone. She was definitely gone.

I was about to shut the file when something caught my eye. Underneath 'McAshton, Katherine Eileen' was 'McAshton, Zachery James.'

Kate's dad.

Kate's dad was HYDRA.

"Shit," I breathed.

"What?" I hadn't realized that Steve was still so close, but he was by my side in an instant.

"Kate's dad," I told him. "He was HYDRA too." My mind raced. If Kate's dad was HYDRA, did that mean that Kate had been loyal to HYDRA her whole life? Not knowing any different? That could mean that she didn't just decide to betray me, and S.H.I.E.L.D. She wasn't converted. She always knew what she had to do.

I'm not sure if that's better, or not; knowing that your friend didn't just decide to betray you, they always were on the other side.

I didn't even know what to think, really.

"Her mom," I suddenly thought. "Kate's mom. Her name isn't on the list."

Steve looked understanding. "What's her name?" he asked, pulling out his cell phone.

"Laura McAshton. Communications, Level 5," I told him.

He nodded and walked away to make the call.

After what seemed like an age, he came back and sat at the side of me.

"She's MIA," he told me. "Loyalty unknown. She's not been seen or heard of since S.H.I.E.L.D. went down. She could be HYDRA on the run, or she could be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent not sure who to trust…"

I nodded.

"So, basically, we have no idea," I finished.

Steve sighed. "No."

I put my head on his shoulder.

* * *

It happened gradually. I wasn't sure if anyone else noticed it. I think I probably noticed it because I went away for two weeks to work with Coulson and I came back and they were a lot more touchy-feely.

Natasha Romanov barely touched anyone if she could help it. You barely noticed her doing it. It was very graceful. She just danced out of peoples' reach subtly.

Bruce Banner physically flinched whenever someone tried to touch him. It was a tossup as to whether he was afraid to be hurt or afraid that he would hurt someone.

I saw Natasha brush Banner's arm as she passed him on her way out of the kitchen one morning and I blinked. Banner followed her out a few moments later, taking his mug of tea with him.

I turned to Steve. "Did you see that?" I asked.

Steve turned to me, chomping on a spoonful of coco pops. "See what?" he asked, voice muffled by the mouthful of cereal.

"Charming," I noted, rolling my eyes. "No. Seriously. That is so sexy. Take me to bed you sexy beast," I said, deadpan. "I was talking about Banner and Natasha. She brushed his arm."

Steve blinked. "And that's… bad?" he ventured.

I rolled my eyes again.

"Never mind."

* * *

I decided to drop in on Banner's lab the next day, because out of the two of them, he scared me less.

"Agent Benson," he greeted, putting down his tablet on a bench.

"Bridget, please, Doctor Banner," I amended. "I'm not much of an Agent without an Agency."

"Then, it's Bruce, Bridget," he smiled. "And considering you went away for a couple of weeks on a 'mission' from Fury, I'm pretty sure you're still technically an agent."

I shrugged. "I think that classes as freelancing," I told him. "Technically, I'm unemployed."

Bruce nodded. "I know how that feels," he told me. "Technically, I've been unemployed for about seven years. It is nice to be able to eat when I like, though. At least we know Tony won't let us starve."

I nodded.

"Besides," Bruce continued. "At least you could get a job if you wanted. New identity and all. Didn't Tony offer you a job?"

"In security," I told him. "I didn't want to go back to working under Maria Hill. That woman never liked me."

Bruce snorted. "I'm not sure that Hill likes anybody." He started to tidy up the surface in front of him. "So what can I do for you?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I just… well, I realized I've not really gotten to know you… I mean, I'm marrying Steve, I've become Tony's keeper whenever Pepper can't be around, Clint and Natasha were in S.H.I.E.L.D. with me, and I spend time with Thor whenever I can. You just seem… I don't know… Apart, I guess? I mean, you do sciencey stuff with Tony and you seem to have gotten close with Natasha…"

I couldn't decipher the look on his face as I let my sentence trail off.

"How's that going, by the way?" I asked, casually. "With Natasha?"

Bruce couldn't look me in the eye. "It's going… good. Great. She's… really been helping… We went out to a HYDRA base last week, did Steve tell you? It worked… the whole suggestion thing. I woke up when I was supposed to."

I nodded. "And Natasha?" I prodded. "You're getting along okay with her? I know that she's not the most open of people…"

"No," he interjected. "I mean, yes. I get along okay with her… She… understands me, I guess…" He trailed off and went quiet.

I bit my lip, hesitating. "Bruce, I… I don't mean to pry…"

Bruce nodded, almost imperceptibly. "It's fine… You see more than most people, you know? I was pretty sure you'd notice something…" he paused, considering his words. "She's… She's an amazing woman, you know? The stuff she's been through..? And she's still… she's still fighting. I guess I… I don't really know how I feel." He looked at me. "That's what you're getting at, right?"

I looked away. "Bruce… I… You don't have to-"

"No, it's…" Bruce sighed. "I mean, I guess you probably know her better than I do, right? You've known her longer?"

"I doubt many people can accurately say that they 'know' Natasha," I replied. "She's a very private person. But she's definitely more open with you than she is with most people."

"It's just…" he tapped his index finger on the table a few times, absently. "I've only ever really loved one woman in my entire life, you know? She was amazing and when I was with her, I felt… I don't really know how to describe it… I always thought that that was it. I never thought that someone could come along and make me feel like that again. And then along comes this woman… and she's one of my best friends and she's amazing and when I'm with her… I feel safe and so scared at the same time…"

He paused, breathing loudly, looking down at the table. "Why am I telling you all this?" he asked.

"I've been told I'm a good listener," I smiled. He smiled back, a little uncertainly. "Tell you what," I told him. "Tit for tat. You share, I share." I pulled up a stool and sat down across the table from Bruce. "You know the first time Steve and I kissed was during the battle with Loki and the Chitauri?" Bruce looked startled at that. "I mean, it was chaos, but then he was there and I'm not exactly sure who started it, but I hadn't even told him that I liked him… He was my best friend and I was terrified I would lose him if I told him and he didn't feel the same way. But then the kiss happened and I thought, 'Wow. Okay. This is happening.' It was like all my dreams come true. But then that night happened… I know you were pretty out of it, but I went to help Clint and afterwards, all I wanted was Steve, and he was there for me, you know? We didn't talk, we were too exhausted. But the next morning, he was gone. No explanation. He dodged my calls, texts, avoided me like the plague and I thought that this was it. The worst had happened. He knew how I felt and he didn't feel the same. It felt like my world was ending." I paused, caught up in the memory.

"What happened?" I had almost forgotten Bruce was there.

"Well, I'm marrying the man, so you can assume we sorted it out," I laughed. "Well, I had to move to DC. Fury's orders. I met Steve and just threw up all my feelings and insulted him a couple of times in the process and then ran away," I admitted. Bruce let out a small laugh. "Then he showed up in DC and told me that he loved me. He was just scared of losing me; afraid of what his feelings meant. He loved a woman, back in the war, you see. He told me later that he was afraid loving me meant that he clearly hadn't loved her as he thought he did. I had to explain that just because you love someone else now; it doesn't make your past love invalid," I told him. "You have to treasure that love; trust that it has shaped you into the kind of person you are today."

Bruce was quiet for a while once I'd finished speaking.

"I'm afraid," he admitted. "I'm afraid that I'll hurt her. I'm afraid to be hurt. I don't know. I just know that this terrifies me, and I'm not sure how I'll get over it."

"Steve can sleep anywhere," I told him. He looked at me, confused. "Hey, I said I'd share if you shared. I didn't say it would be relevant. Anyway, yeah, Steve can literally sleep anywhere. He once fell asleep stood up in the shower. But the slightest noise change and he's awake and alert. He assesses the noise and if he sees that all is okay, he can fall back to sleep in seconds. I've never seen anything quite like it." I leaned across the table and slowly reached for Bruce, making sure that he could see my intention, almost like attempting to pet a scared cat. He allowed me to touch his arm, and I attempted to convey what comfort I could through the touch.

"It's okay to be afraid," I told him. "I can guarantee that if Natasha feels remotely like you do, she is terrified as hell. The trick is not letting fear stop you."


	19. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are her, but you aren't. You aren't, but you are. You’re in my head, but you aren't on record. How?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. The reason that this chapter took so long is that I was having major issues with Age of Ultron. I had a plan. I knew how things were gonna go and I've been gearing up to it. But I just had no motivation to write Age of Ultron scenes. The minute I decided to not incorporate AoU, this chapter, plus two more shot right out. Just goes to show. Sigh. So, no AoU, but two more chapters, plus a chapter of the side story "My Place in this World" to come very soon!

 

I poured a third spoonful of sugar into my coffee and sipped it, cautiously, before grimacing and adding another. From the other side of the breakfast bar, Sam Wilson looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Avengers come with good dental?" he joked, in reference to all the sugar I'd put in my coffee, and that was on top of my sugary breakfast cereal.

I shrugged. "My mom was a dentist," I told him. "I take good care of my teeth. Old habits die hard."

We made small talk for a while, but my mind was clearly elsewhere, as I knew Sam could tell. I hoped he understood.

"Ms Benson?" Jarvis

"Yes, Jarvis?" I asked, almost falling out of my seat, although I had been waiting for Jarvis to speak for a while now. I think I irritated him, as much as an AI could be irritated, asking how the team was doing every five minutes. Eventually, he just told me he would announce if anything went wrong, or they were on their way back.

"The Avengers are returning now. Captain Rogers wishes to speak with you. Would you like me to forward it to your cell phone?"

"Yes please, Jarvis." I let out a breath I didn't even realize I had been holding and grabbed my cell out of my jeans pocket.

"Steve?" I answered.

"Hey, Bridge." He sounded weary, but just battle weary, which wasn't too bad.

"Hey," I smiled, warmly. "Everyone okay?"

"Yeah," he told me. "Well… except for Barton. He's gonna need medical attention, but he'll live."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well, it wouldn't be a mission if Clint didn't need medical attention afterwards."

" _Hey!"_  I heard Clint call out in the background.

"You know it's true!" I called back.

Steve chuckled. "We'll reach base in about an hour or so, according to Stark. I just wanted to give you a heads up." He paused for a moment. "How did it go?" he asked, quietly.

I breathed out. "It didn't," I told him. "Total bust. He'd gone before we got there."

Steve sighed.

"Hey, we'll find him," I insisted. "We will find him and he will be at our wedding."

"I hope so," he said, quietly.

We hung up not long after and I hovered in the kitchen for a while, contemplating.

Sam and I had been looking for Barnes for the past few months. Sam had been looking for even longer, but I had felt useless; I needed purpose. So I convinced Steve and Sam to let me help. Sam was all for it. An extra set of eyes would be a huge help, he said. Steve was less convinced. He knew first-hand how dangerous the Winter Soldier was, even if he might remember something about his past; about Steve. Eventually, after a long argument, Steve clued into the fact that I could, actually, take care of myself, and him thinking that he needed to protect me was just highly patronizing. I'm getting him used to the 21st Century, bit by bit. He's almost fully acclimatized now.

Every trip so far had been a bust. It was as if the man could tell he'd been spotted and managed to get away before we got there. Each time he got away from us, Steve lost a little bit of the hope he was clinging on to. I dreaded the day when he would lose it completely.

* * *

Clint was going to be okay. The med team that Tony employed on a full-time basis after the Avengers got back together in one place again after S.H.I.E.L.D. was no more managed to patch him up. He was going to be sore for a few days, and on restricted movement so as not to pull his stitches, but he was back to full sarcasm mode in no time at all.

This was good for Clint. Hopefully, he was done running. Laura and I talked on the phone a few days ago, and she admitted that although she did miss having him around, and having him help with the kids, she was glad that he was sorting himself out and getting better. Laura was almost full-term at this point, so she was also quite glad that there would be one less person underfoot while they had a newborn baby. I suspected that was also part of the reason Clint had made the decision to leave; Clint wasn't overly fond of babies. Children, he was fine with. Clint adored children and they adored him, but babies were a different story.

But Clint was a little annoyed that he was better, to be honest. He wasn't much looking forward to being dragged to the party that night. Avengers Tower had officially been completely rebuilt, along with most of Midtown, and Pepper had arranged an event for good publicity, inviting veterans and key people from the rebuilding of Manhattan. Pepper, unfortunately, had been called away at the last minute to take care of an emergency with Stark Industries, but we had promised her plenty of pictures and that we would all have a good time.

I watched Steve lace his shoes, one foot on the stool in front of the dressing table, from where I was sat on the edge of our bed, putting my earrings in. It had been a while since I had had a chance to dress up and just have fun. I had bought – well,  _Steve_  had bought, since I was technically unemployed – a new blue strapless cocktail dress, which matched the color of Steve's shirt, which I was wearing with a pair of silver strappy heels. I felt nice; like a girl. With all this running around after Barnes, and doing a few missions here and there for S.H.I.E.L.D., I hadn't really felt like a girl; I've been feeling more like an asset, which sucks, but for the moment, I suppose it's necessary.

"Where is-" Steve started to say, looking around, but I cut him off, knowing exactly what he was looking for.

"Your jacket's on the back of the couch," I told him, standing up and smoothing out my dress. Steve turned to look at me and smiled, softly.

"You look…" he trailed off, taking me in with his gaze. I blushed. "You look amazing," he told me. "I'm such a lucky man."

I smiled. "Sweet talker. Good thing you weren't this smooth before me, I'd've stood no chance if other women had picked up on it."

Steve stepped towards me and put his arms around me, gently, trying not to crinkle my dress. "You just bring it out in me," he said, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. I was amazingly grateful for my kiss-proof lipstick, which I had obtained after one too many times wiping lipstick off of Steve's face. You learn these things, eventually.

"Ready?" I asked him.

"Ready," he confirmed.

* * *

When the party was starting to wind down, Sam came towards me and grabbed my arm.

"Hey, Jarvis got a hit," he told me.

"Really?" The tips we got from Jarvis were usually the good ones. We would get there and find evidence that the Winter Soldier had definitely been there, but we had just not been quick enough and he disappeared before we got there. "Where?"

"Westchester, near a fancy boarding school," Sam replied.

I froze. "Not Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters?"

Sam frowned. "Yeah, that's it. How-?"

"That's where I went to school," I informed him. "You go start the jet, I'll let Steve know. We can be there in five minutes."

I didn't wait for a reply, I just headed straight for the place I had last seen Steve. Luckily, he was still there, talking about the modern military with Lt. Colonel Rhodes.

"Sorry for interrupting," I said as soon as I was close enough. "We got a hit on Barnes, so Sam and I are leaving," I told Steve.

Steve straightened up. "Should I-?"

I shook my head. "Stay. Enjoy. Relax. You've earned it." I took my shoes off and handed them to him. I then gave him a quick kiss and dashed, barefoot, towards the quinjet. There wasn't even time for me to change out of my dress. Luckily, I always kept a spare suit in the jet these days, in case we needed to do just this.

The ride was short and quiet. We landed the jet in the school grounds, having called Professor Xavier ahead and briefing him on our situation. He assured us that, between him and the staff, they could make our landing as inconspicuous as possible. I trusted him to do just that and thanked him profusely.

Sam and I split up, and I sent him one way through the woods as I went the other. I knew this place like that back of my hand and knew that one person would be less likely to be noticed than two. We also didn't want to seem too threatening to Barnes. Sam wasn't too happy about being split up, as he didn't know the area, he said, although I was sure it had more to do with him promising Steve to keep me safe, which he might've done before our conversation on why I didn't need protecting.

No more than five minutes later, there was a slight rustle behind me and by the time I felt the pinch of fingers on my neck, I barely had time to think that this wouldn't help prove to Steve that I could handle myself in the slightest before descending into unconsciousness.

* * *

I couldn't have been unconscious for very long; the air still felt the same. I was sat on the dirt of the forest floor and my hands were tied behind me with what felt like chain. I grimaced. Chain was difficult to break if I couldn't see it to examine the weaknesses or any gaps in the links.

I opened my eyes and saw Barnes standing in front of me, eyes boring into me; assessing me. I quickly skimmed my eyes around, trying to figure out if Sam was anywhere near, but Barnes seemed to realize what I was trying to do.

"Your friend can't help you," he murmured. "I led him on a wild goose chase in the opposite direction. We have time."

Time for what? I wondered.

"You were there," Barnes stated, eyes boring into mine. "With the man on the bridge. I started to remember. I had a mission. The man with the eye patch. I remember. You were there, with the man on the bridge." He paused, cocked his head to the side and then spoke as if he was reciting information he had learnt my heart. "Bridget Olivia Benson, born 042988. Mutant. Romantically involved with S.H.I.E.L.D. agent codename: Captain America. Acquire as asset if possible. Priority: medium-low." Barnes tilted his head to the other side. "You are her, but you aren't. You aren't, but you are. You're in my head, but you aren't on record. How?"

He was getting agitated and I understood. Barnes had learned about me from HYDRA, but after Tony had deleted all electronic traces of my identity, Barnes had nothing to back up the knowledge in his head.

"You know the man on the bridge," he stated, his eyes never leaving my face.

"I do," I told him. "He wants to help you. He wants you to be safe."

"But he sends people after me; sends you after me," Barnes interrupted.

"To let you know that you can be safe. That you can stop running. That you have somewhere to go, and people that will help you, if you will just accept it." I paused, trying to assess the situation, assess Barnes' mental state as much as I could. "He wants to try to help you remember; help you regain what HYDRA took away from you."

There was a short silence before Barnes broke it, quiet, clipped words ringing through the small clearing as though he had shouted them. "He can't."

Barnes stepped towards me and I tried my best not to flinch. He dropped something at my feet before reaching behind me with his metal arm and breaking the chains with one smooth motion. Then he was gone. I couldn't even have followed him if I had tried. I sighed and looked down to see what he had dropped at my feet.

It was my comm.

I put it back into my ear and contacted Sam.

"Sam?"

"Bridget?" He sounded relieved. "Where have you been? I tried to contact you but couldn't get through. Has your comm been offline?"

"I'll tell you all about it when we get back," I promised. "Head back to the school."

"But the mission…" he argued.

"The mission is complete, for now," I told him.

"What? How?"

"School," I repeated. "I need hot chocolate and I need it now."

* * *

Steve was on the couch with his sketchbook when I got back. He'd changed out of the clothes he had worn to the party and was wearing sweats. I assumed that Jarvis had announced my arrival when I got back into the tower, because he didn't seem surprised to see me.

"Hey," I said. "I thought you'd be asleep."

He shook his head, putting aside his sketchbook. "I still don't sleep too well when you're not here."

That pulled on my heartstrings and I moved over and settled myself in his lap.

Steve didn't ask this time, as if he was afraid to know the answer.

"I talked to him."

Steve's head came up from where it had settled on my shoulder.

"You talked to him?" Steve's tone was so hopeful it was actually slightly painful.

I nodded. I decided to tell him the whole truth, because if I didn't, I knew Sam would, and then I would never hear the end of it.

Steve wasn't impressed that I had gotten myself kidnapped, but by the time I was finished, he was quiet. He settled his head back against my shoulder and I turned my head to kiss his hair, softly.

"Ball's in his court now, Steve," I murmured. "There's not much else we can do at this point. We can't make him come here. We can't make him remember. He has to choose. We can only hope that he decides he can trust us.

Steve nodded, not lifting his head from my shoulder, and we stayed like that for what seemed like hours.


	20. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How are we supposed to know who’s S.H.I.E.L.D. and who’s HYDRA?” Tony asked, incredulously.
> 
> I could hear Natasha snort on the other end of the comm. “Isn’t that just the title of our goddamn autobiography?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to cut this chapter in half because it was getting ridiculously long, but it works. Sorry I couldn't post this sooner. My laptop is failing me. I've had to buy a new charger and mouse cos the charger and mousepad broke. 2 weeks laptopless. I nearly died. Sigh. But I'm saving up for a new one! Almost there!

It had all been going so well.

I had convinced the team to let me tag along on an average raid on a HYDRA base; nothing too dangerous, by Avengers' standards… Until I rounded a corner, gun at the ready, and nearly took out Skye.

"Skye?!" I hissed, turning off my comms. "What are you doing here?"

Skye clutched at her chest, panting. She'd already been running, but her near miss at getting shot by me must have almost given her a heart attack.

"Benson, thank God!" Skye breathed. "We were just about to move in when Avengers started dropping out of the sky! There are three other agents, plus May and Coulson, in the building!"

"Shit!" I tried to think. "Any Avenger sees Coulson and it won't end well. Plus, they won't know your agents from HYDRA."

I did what was probably the quickest thinking of my life. "Okay, here's what we'll do: You get in touch with Coulson. Give the team a passphrase that I can relay. I'm going to tell the Avengers that May's running the team. You give me the descriptions of your other three agents and I'll inform them that they're not to be harmed."

Skye nodded and proceeded to tell me the details.

I turned my comm back on. "Guys!" I announced, urgently. "We have a S.H.I.E.L.D. team in the area. I repeat, we have a S.H.I.E.L.D. team in the area."

There was a moment's silence.

"A S.H.I.E.L.D. team?" Clint asked, incredulously. "S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't exist anymore!"

I sighed. "You really think that Fury would just let it die? What do you think he's been doing for the past few months? Living it up on a beach in Fiji?"

"How are we supposed to know who's S.H.I.E.L.D. and who's HYDRA?" Tony asked, incredulously.

I could hear Natasha snort on the other end of the comm. "Isn't that just the title of our goddamn autobiography?"

"I ran into an agent I know, that I trust. I can give you names and basic descriptions of the agents and they will give you a passphrase. The team is run by Melinda May-"

" _May?!"_  I heard both Clint and Natasha exclaim.

"Thank fuck she's not HYDRA," Clint commented.

"You know her?" Steve asked.

"May's one of the best, Cap," Natasha commented, hitting something very heavy, by the sound of it.

"May is Asian, looks to be in her early forties-"

"May'll thank you for that." I could hear Clint's grin over the comm.

"I said she looks in her early forties, I know her age, Barton," I grumbled. "Goddamn woman ages well…"

"Bridge…" Steve urged me to get on with it.

"Antoine Triplett, African American. Early thirties. Short beard and mustache. Roughly 5'10. Barbara Morse-"

"Fuck no!"

I frowned. "Clint?"

Natasha let out a short laugh. "You just told him his ex-wife is within spitting distance."

"Seriously?" Well, that could be entertaining… I shook my head, continuing. "Morse is Caucasian, blonde, in her early thirties, also approximately 5'10. Lance Hunter. British guy. Caucasian. Mid-thirties. Short dark hair, mustache and beard. 5'11. Skye I have with me, but just in case, she's half-Asian, early twenties, long brown hair. Passphrase is…" I looked at Skye.

"Snow White," she said. At my look, she shrugged. "Fitz picked it."

"Snow White," I conveyed, through the comms.

"Snow White?" Tony found this amusing.

"Their engineer has droids names after the seven dwarves," I explained. "Let's just get this over with."

I turned to Skye. "Can you patch me into your comms so I can talk to Coulson?"

She nodded, making a grabbing notion for my earpiece.

After a few minutes, she gave it back to me and I put it back in. "May?" I ventured, not wanting to say Coulson's name over the comm, just in case I was overheard.

"Benson?" May said. "Do you need to speak with him?"

"Yes," I answered, honestly.

"Benson?"

"God, Coulson," I breathed. "We need to get you out of here! They cannot find out like this!"

"I know," he replied. "I'm working on it."

"Please work on it a little faster," I told him. "Where are you?"

"May and I are in a storage closet in the south west of the facility. Third floor," he told me.

"Okay," I mentally placed myself with what I could remember of the blueprints of the facility that we had looked at before we entered. I was pretty sure that I was in the south west of the facility, although on the first floor. "We're on our way up to you. If we run into any Avengers on our way out, I can try to distract them, at least."

It took around ten minutes – and six HYDRA agents – to get to where May and Coulson were. I monitored the comms closely, trying to make sure that the rest of the team was out of the way.

"You got a jet near?" I asked, as I opened the door and May and Coulson came tumbling out.

"If it's not been destroyed, with the Avengers thinking it's one of HYDRA's," May replied, immediately placing herself to the rear of our group, watching our backs.

"Okay," I nodded, bracing myself. I turned around just as an arrow sailed past my head, missing me by half an inch, and embedding itself into the doorframe a hairsbreadth from Coulson's left ear.

My heart sank and I turned to face Clint.

He was stood there, face carefully blank, bow still raised.

"Clint…" I whispered.

"You forgot to turn your comm back on," Clint said, neutrally. He wouldn't even look at me. His eyes were focused on a point slightly to the left of our group. "We've cleared the compound. Got all the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents outside. We have to leave now. We're blowing the compound."

With that, he turned and left; movements mechanical.

I wanted to cry.

"Shit," I breathed. I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger and took a few seconds. "Well, worst case scenario just happened," I commented. "But we'd better move out."

Nobody else said a word; we all just headed out.

The building blew as soon as we were clear. I could feel the tension in the air as we assembled where the rest of the team were standing.

Clint had clearly told everyone about Coulson being there before we exited the building, because none of them looked surprised. They did, however, look angry. Well… angry wasn't really the word for it. Fury was more the correct term – and also the person behind the whole thing, but that really wasn't what we were focusing on.

Natasha was the first to move. I could see May attempt to move, to get in-between them, but Coulson made a small gesture, dissuading her from the action.

The punch was quick and clean, and Coulson took it well. He staggered back a bit, but managed to stay on his feet. He brought his hands up to his nose, testing to see if it was broken. It didn't look like it; Natasha must have restrained herself.

Coulson brought his hand back down, looked at Natasha and said, evenly, "Hello, Natasha."

Natasha looked conflicted for a few moments, but threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back.

It only lasted a few seconds before Natasha pulled back, putting some distance between them. She turned to me.

"How long have you known about this?" she asked.

I closed my eyes. This all seemed very surreal. I was aware that this could all go very wrong. I couldn't really see how this could go right. I knew that my best bet to salvage relationships would be to tell the truth; something that I was not completely used to being able to do.

"A year," I replied, quietly.

My statement was met with silence. I couldn't look anybody in the eye. They all knew; the secret that I had been made to hold for far too long was finally out in the open and the people that I was closest to knew that I had kept this from them.

"It's my fault."

Coulson spoke up and I turned to face him.

"Coulson…"

"It's my fault," he repeated, cutting me off. "Fury ordered me to keep it quiet and then after…" He looked down. "I just… I wasn't ready… I didn't know how to… So I made Benson keep the secret for a bit longer… Just until I'd figured out how to tell you I was..."

"That you were still alive?" I was surprised it had taken Tony this long to say something. "All it would have taken was a phone call." He mimicked a phone call with his hand. "'Oh, Avengers? Hi, it's Agent Coulson. By the way, I'm still alive,'" he finished, sarcastically.

"I never intended to hurt anyone…" Coulson began. Clint had apparently heard more than he could handle, because he turned on his heel and walked away. Coulson stopped speaking, watching Clint walk away, an unreadable expression on his face.

Natasha glanced at Coulson, but turned to catch up with Clint. I assumed she didn't think he was good to be alone right now.

One by one, the rest of the Avengers turned and followed the path that Clint had taken. Eventually, Steve was the only one that was left, but even he turned around, moving to leave without having said a word the entire time.

"Steve?" I said; a hint of pleading in my voice.

He stopped, turning slowly and his expression hit me like a ton of bricks.

Disappointment. Anger. Distrust.

He turned again and left, leaving me standing, stock still, with Coulson and the rest of his team.

The first sob took me by surprise. The second took the strength in my knees and I crumpled to the floor.

Skye was the nearest person to me and I felt her move as soon as my knees collapsed. She was by my side straight away and attempted to help me back up, but my body would not co-operate. By this time, I was crying openly, not caring that I was sitting on grass outside a burning HYDRA compound, in front of a group of people, half of whom I had never met before.

I felt arms come around me, one under my thighs and the other around my shoulders, lifting me up. The touch, the smell, was familiar. Coulson.

He carried me as he walked, his touch solid and comforting, until the motion and the bone deep weariness from crying caused me to fall asleep in his arms.

* * *

I woke to the shrill sound of my cell ringing. For a moment, I wasn't sure where I was. The walls of the room were grey; some sort of bare blocks. The room itself was moderately sized. It was the room in the Playground – the old SSR base that Coulson had made new S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ – which I had stayed in the last time I came on a mission with Coulson's team I realized. That had been before he had added the new members, Morse, Hunter, and Triplett, I remembered from last night.

Last night.

The memories threatened to overwhelm me, so I quickly grabbed my cell – realizing it was still ringing – hoping that whoever was on the other end would either distract me from the pain, or let me apologize.

It was Pepper, the display told me.

That, I hadn't expected.

"Hello?" I answered, hoarsely. All the crying last night had been terrible on my throat. It felt like someone had rubbed sandpaper all over the inside.

"Bridget?" Pepper asked, tentatively. "Are you okay?"

I wanted to lie. My first instinct was to lie, tell her that I was okay. But I really wasn't… and there had been enough lying.

"No," I replied, honestly.

Pepper didn't say anything right away. It was like she had known that I wasn't okay, but she had been expecting me to lie. She had been expecting me to say I was okay, and she would have known what to say to that.

"Are you with…" she trailed off, taking a breath. "Are you with Phil?"

I had forgotten. I had forgotten that she knew Coulson; had gone for coffee with him several times; had texted, giving him steady updates on her life, on Tony; had considered him a friend. I had forgotten that it was not just the Avengers that this would hurt.

"Yes," I said quietly.

"Do you…" she hesitated. "Do you need anything? Do you need me to pack you a bag with some clean clothes?"

My mouth fell open in shock. Whatever I had expected, it wasn't that. I suppose I had expected her to be mad; to be upset with me for not telling anyone that Coulson was still alive. I wasn't expecting her to be nice to me.

"Why…" My throat felt like it was closing up. "Aren't you mad at me?" I asked, tears threatening to spill once more.

"Oh, honey." Pepper sounded so worried for me that I felt even guiltier. "It's not your fault. It wasn't your secret to tell. And give them all some time and they'll see that."

"You didn't see the way Steve looked at me, Pep." I fiddled with the corner of the duvet, rolling it between my finger and thumb. "He didn't even want to be near me. He looked so…  _disappointed_ in me." A tear rolled unchecked down my cheek. "I never wanted to lie to him, Pepper. I never wanted to lie to anyone."

"I know, honey," Pepper soothed. "I know."

"I mean, I knew what the job entailed when I took it. I knew working for an Intelligence Agency required keeping secrets, but this was a big one, and I didn't want to keep it. I wanted to tell them. I wanted to just tell them all so that they would stop mourning him and Coulson could walk me down the goddamn aisle!" I was outright sobbing by the time I finished.

Pepper let me have time to calm down, and I was so freaking grateful to her. She seemed to understand what I needed, and had no problem giving me that space. This was why she had made such a good PA all those years, and why she was such a good CEO now. She knew how to listen to people and she instinctively could guess what people needed.

"I think I'll stay here for a few days," I told her, once I had calmed down enough to speak again. "I can't see everyone… can't face them right now," I admitted.

"That's probably for the best," Pepper said. "I'll go grab you a bag. How will I get it to you?"

"I'll see if one of the agents can come pick it up." I wondered if Coulson could spare someone for an hour or so. "I'll call you back and tell you who to expect."

"Okay," Pepper replied. "Just…Take care of yourself, okay?"

I nodded slowly, and then, realizing that she couldn't see me, answered verbally. "Okay."


	21. Emotional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I drew my legs up, setting my feet on the chair and putting my arms around my legs, holding them up to my torso. “Clint’s my best friend. Steve’s the love of my life. And I may just lose them both over this.”

I collected myself and walked out of the room, aiming to find someone to run that errand for me. I wasn't really up to seeing everyone, but I couldn't hide away forever.

Most of the team were in the break room. They looked up as I paused in the doorway.

"Hi," I said, hesitantly.

I didn't expect the hug that came from Simmons. She pulled me to her and just offered me silent comfort. I was grateful for it, and when she pulled away, I gave her an extra squeeze to ensure she knew I was grateful.

I looked around. Morse, Hunter, and Triplett were all there, slouched on chairs or leaning on walls. There was also a giant of a man that I didn't know, and Skye was sat on the floor with a laptop on her legs.

"So…" I began, awkwardly. "That was not the best first impression I've ever made. I'm Bridget Benson," I introduced myself.

The tall man I didn't know walked over and offered his hand. "Mack," he told me. I shook his hand. "This here's Bobbi, Hunter, and Trip." The three agents lifted their hands when their name was called, in acknowledgement. "I assume you already know Skye and Simmons."

I nodded. I zeroed in on Bobbi. "So," I said, conversationally. "You were married to Barton?"

The heads of everyone in the room snapped towards Bobbi, who looked a little uncomfortable.

"Barton?!" Hunter exclaimed. "Clint Barton?! You were married to Hawkeye?! Clint-your-ex-husband is an Avenger? Why did you never tell me this?"

"Because, Hunter," Bobbi said, eyes narrowed at him. "When I married you, Clint was just another S.H.I.E.L.D. specialist. It wasn't relevant."

"Still…" Hunter hummed. "You gave up an Avenger to marry me. That's kinda hot…"

Bobbi snorted. "Clint and I divorced because I figured out he was in love with Coulson before  _he_  did."

I laughed while the others looked even more shocked at this.

" _Coulson and Hawkeye?!"_

Bobbi could see I didn't look surprised like the rest of the team did. "How did you find out?" she asked.

"I overheard them having sex after an op," I confessed.

Bobbi laughed. "Oh, please tell me that you teased them as much as I did."

I shook my head. "I didn't tell them I knew at the time. It was a hectic time. I figured I'd leave it for blackmail at a later date… But then Loki happened and I told Coulson I knew. And when Coulson was… gone, I told Clint I knew. The situations didn't really lend themselves to teasing." The team were all quiet. "I'm worried about how Clint's gonna take this," I confessed to Bobbi, moving to take the seat at the side of her. "I'm worried he's just going to run away again like he did after New York."

"Yeah," Bobbi commented. "He does that. The whole running away thing. Major character flaw on his part."

We were all quiet for a moment before I remembered why I was there in the first place. "Oh. I'm gonna run it by Coulson if I can stay here for a few days, but I need someone to run to the city to pick up a few things for me. I… I can't really risk running into anyone just yet."

Skye nodded. "I'll go grab Sam and see if he's busy."

"Thanks, Skye," I said as she got up.

She brushed my shoulder lightly as she passed me. "It's okay," she replied as she walked away. "I'm just trying to digest the information that Coulson has sex. That's slightly disturbing to me. It's like knowing that your parents still do it."

I laughed.

Trip turned to me as Skye left. "So you know all the Avengers? What about Cap? What's he like?"

I froze. I'd been trying not to think about Steve. Just thinking about him hurt right now.

"Steve…" I took a deep breath. These people were all eager to hear about the legendary hero and I didn't want to let them down. I felt Simmons move to take the seat at the other side of me. She knew, and lent me her silent support. "Steve is extraordinary. He's like no one else I've ever met. At the end of the war, when he was piloting that plane, he'd fully accepted he was going to die, and then he wakes up seventy years later and most people would be destroyed, knowing everything they knew was gone, but Steve carries on. It took him a while to adjust, but he just soaks up knowledge like a sponge. He's a born leader. He even gets Tony Stark to follow his orders, and that is a damn hard thing to do, because Tony hates being told what to do. But Steve… When Steve tells you to do something, you just assume that it's the right thing to do. Because Steve told you to do it. He has a wicked sense of humor, and he loves to tell really stupid jokes. He likes really sophisticated, arty films, but he'll watch The Princess Bride with me as many times as I ask him to. He cares about people, so much. He once went all the way to Jersey, just to buy me pastries when I was having a bad day. He can't cook. He's actually a danger in the kitchen. While we were living in Avengers Tower, we went through thirteen fire extinguishers, just on cooking related incidents. Tony eventually banned either of us from cooking and actually removed the stove from the kitchen."

I was aware that I was rambling at this point and that this wasn't exactly what Trip had meant when he asked about Steve, but I didn't care. The floodgates had opened.

"You love him," Bobbi commented.

I nodded. "He never gives up. I told him I loved him, insulted him, and then moved to a different state. He showed up on my doorstep, told me he loved me too and then moved into my apartment. He asked me to marry him from his hospital bed, after being out of a coma for thirty seconds. We were going to have the most amazing wedding ever. Hawkeye as my maid of honor, Black Widow as Steve's best man. Coulson would walk me down the aisle, and Tony and Sam have been fighting over who would officiate. Both of them got themselves ordained and have been trying to bribe the pair of us to decide between them for the last three months. We hadn't set a date yet because I wanted them to know about Coulson so he could be there, and Steve wanted to find Bucky so  _he_  could be there, but now it's all gone to shit and I don't know if he's ever going to speak to me again, never mind marry me."

I drew my legs up, setting my feet on the chair and putting my arms around my legs, holding them up to my torso. "Clint's my best friend. Steve's the love of my life. And I may just lose them both over this."

"Hey."

I was startled by Simmons' voice. I had almost forgotten that she was there.

"It's going to be okay," she told me.

She sounded so certain that I wanted to believe her. "How do you know?"

"Because they're men," she said, matter-of-factly. "And men are known to overreact."

"Hey!" all three men in the room protested. Simmons just gave them a Look, and they backed off. Bobbi snorted in amusement.

"She's right you know," Bobbi agreed. "They'll realize that they overreacted and that you're not to blame for any of this and be falling over themselves to apologize."

I sighed. "That's what Pepper said."

"Pepper Potts?" Simmons asked. I nodded. "Well, if you heard it from me, Bobbi, and Pepper Potts, then you have to know it's true. I have multiple PhDs, Pepper Potts is one of the most clever business women today, and Bobbi…" she paused, looking at Bobbi, as if not knowing how best to finish that sentence. Luckily, Bobbi took over for her.

"Bobbi made it her job to understand how men work. Back at the old S.H.I.E.L.D., I was considered a less scary version of Romanov," she told me.

"Less scary?" Hunter asked, incredulously. "If you were less scary, I'd hate to meet Romanov."

"You already did," I told him.

"I did?" he asked, frowning.

"Mmm. The small redheaded assassin in the black bodysuit," I informed him. "Goes by Black Widow. Could actually kill you with her thighs."

"Wow." Hunter looked like he was actually considering what it would be like to die that way.

"I've known her for over three years now, and she still terrifies me," I admitted. "Doesn't help that she's Steve's best friend and she's Clint's family."

Just then, May walked in.

"Benson, Coulson wants to see you," she told me.

I nodded. I wasn't looking forward to this conversation in the slightest. If Coulson was feeling anything like the way I was feeling, I couldn't really see out talk going at all well. The pair of us had been lying to the people we loved and it had just come back to bite us in the ass. I don't know why we expected it to go any other way. We knew it wouldn't end well. Why did I think that once the truth came out it would all be magically resolved? I think that I just wanted the guilt of lying to everyone to be lifted so badly that I didn't even think about the afterwards of it all; which is not usual for me. Usually, I am a really good planner. When it comes to planning ops, I can think further ahead than most S.H.I.E.L.D. agents can, which was always a major plus and one of the reasons Fury wanted me to be where I was in S.H.I.E.L.D.

I murmured goodbye to the agents and followed May out of the room.

"How's he handling it?" I asked her, once I was sure we were out of earshot.

May looked at me, as if trying to gauge how well  _I_  was handling all this. "Not well," she said, eventually. We stopped just short of Coulson's office. "I need your weapon," May demanded. I raised my eyebrows. "I already took his."

"Do you really think that's necessary?" I asked, alarmed.

"I think that the two of you are highly dangerous people without weapons involved," May said, dryly. "In a heightened emotional state, I'd rather there be no weapons added to that mix."

I reluctantly handed over my sidearm before stepping into the office.

Coulson wasn't sat behind his desk. In fact, it took me a few seconds to locate him, even in the small office. He was sat, slumped against the wall, behind his desk; as if he had gone to sit at his desk and just not gotten up the strength to do so.

I wasn't sure what to do. Normally, I would have gone over to him, sat beside him and offered some comfort, but I was just feeling too raw, too exposed and hurt and all the feelings I had tried to put aside or joke my way through with the agents just came to the forefront at seeing Coulson again.

I shut the door behind me and just leaned against it. Coulson's head came up as the door clicked shut and we said nothing for at least a minute, letting the silence settle between us.

"I'm so sorry for dragging you into this," Coulson said, brokenly.

I sighed. "Technically Fury dragged me into this," I said. "Neither of us really had much choice, you especially."

"You have no idea," Coulson breathed out. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before looking me in the eye. "I didn't get a chance to tell you. I found out exactly what happened to me; what Fury did. I found out just before the whole HYDRA thing."

I nodded my head, letting him know that I was listening.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. was working on a serum, something as a last resort in case of the death of an Avenger; something that could potentially bring them back to life if the worst should happen. I was in charge of the program, and I was all for it because I knew who was on the shortlist for the Initiative."

" _Clint_ ," I realized.

Coulson nodded. "It was still in the testing stages and I pulled the plug because the subjects were too traumatized when they woke up. Most of them literally went mad from the memory of what was done to them. Some of them became too violent to handle. The project was deemed a failure and shut down… Until…"

"Until you died," I finished, quietly. "But how..? I mean, if the other subjects went mad…"

"Fury found a way around that. He messed with my memories." Coulson looked down at his hands, clasped in front of him, resting on his knees.

"That's why you didn't know what happened to you," I realized. "When I found out you were alive, on the bus. I asked what happened and you said you wished you knew."

Coulson sighed. "Well, I found out. And sometimes I wish I hadn't. Found out, I mean. Fury took my memories from me and implanted new ones. You know, for a year, I thought that I had been recuperating in Tahiti? The only thing that refused to add up for me at the time is during that time in Tahiti, I can't remember asking for Clint. Not once. Why wouldn't I have asked after Clint while I was recuperating? It didn't make any sense."

"And now Fury's off somewhere being presumed dead and not accountable for any of his actions." I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the door. "I need some air," I decided. "This whole underground base is making me claustrophobic."

Coulson nodded. "Take someone with you," he told me. "Just to be safe."

"Sure," I agreed, knowing that I would do no such thing. I wanted a minute alone, just to breathe. I felt like the walls were closing in on me.

I made it outside without running into another person, something I was grateful for, as they would probably insist on accompanying me, as Coulson wanted. I just didn't think that I could handle people right now.

I made it out of the building and down the alley, coming to rest at the side of a fire escape. I barely had time to breathe before I heard my name.

"Bridget?"

I internally cursed S.H.I.E.L.D.'s inability to let me be alone for just one minute before I realized that the voice had not come from the direction of the base, but from the street. I turned my head to look in that direction and was too shocked to even move when I saw the tall figure of Agent McAshton, Kate's mother, walking towards me.

I was so shocked I didn't even see the gun she was holding at hip level and by the time she took the shot and I saw the dart sticking out of my thigh, everything went black and I only held onto consciousness for long enough to hear the two whispered words.

"Hail HYDRA."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...


	22. Hospitality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know what I also had a year ago? A purpose. A vision. A husband. A child. And then you and your boyfriend took all of that away from me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to get this done so that I can start my NaNoWriMo project with a clear slate. Only one more chapter and an epilogue to go! And I'll upload both of these (hopefully tomorrow) at the same time! Enjoy!
> 
> Warning for canon-typical threats. Kinda what you'd expect, being kidnapped by HYDRA...

I walked down a familiar hallway. The wood paneling somehow remained smooth, despite the purpose of the building for the last few decades. It was quiet, and that was strange to me. I remembered the hallways always being so full of sound; full of life.

I walked the familiar walk to the dorms of Xavier's school, taking the route that I would never be able to forget in a million years, and stopping outside the most a very memorable door. The door was cracked open and I could hear voices inside. I peered in and eavesdropped on the conversation within.

"I know it's hard," one voice – a young girl, probably around ten or eleven – said. "I've been here for six months. But you get used to it. I promise." No one else spoke, so the girl continued. "And everyone's really nice... Well, okay, not everyone, it  _is_  a school. But the teachers are super cool. But you met Dr Grey, right? She's super nice."

The other voice spoke up and it was hoarse, as if the girl using it had been crying for hours. "I don't care. I don't care how nice everyone is. I just want my mom and dad. But I  _can't!"_  The sobs were heart wrenching and I wanted so much to go in and hug the girl; make her feel better in any way I could. But my feet wouldn't move.

The room was silent apart from the sobs of the second girl for a while.

"Hey," the first girl said, in a put-on cheery voice that was obviously meant to try to cheer up the other girl. "I'd offer to share my parents with you, but I hardly see them, so that wouldn't really be much use."

The crying girl half-laughed in the middle of a sob, making an ugly snorting noise familiar to all of us who have had a friend try to lighten the mood while we were sobbing our hearts out.

"But," the first girl continued, hesitatingly. "If you want, we can stick around for each other? I mean, I practically don't have a family, either. I only see them during school vacations, and that's only if they're not away for work. I could use a friend... like a sister? ...If you'll have me, that is?" She sounded hopeful.

The second girl had quieted her crying some by that point and the silence didn't last too long before she responded. "Sure. That... That sounds nice."

The first girl squealed, and from the sounds of the surprised noise from the other girl, pulled her into a hug.

"Bridget Benson and Kate McAshton. Sisters and friends forever. I like the sound of that."

I stepped back from the door, horrified, as it all came rushing back to me. This was my first night at Xavier's school, just a few days after the death of both of my parents, and when Kate and I cemented our friendship.

A friendship that ended with her betraying and attempting to kill me; succeeding in killing our other best friend.

I struggled to breathe and everything went dark.

* * *

The smell hit me first. It wasn't  _really_ bad, or strong, but it smelt damp and dirty. The sound hit me next; steady dripping coming from different directions, all around me and the beep of a heartbeat on medical machinery. Next, I noticed the pressure at my wrists, ankles, and waist; cloth covering most of my body and the chill of the air touching those parts of me the cloth didn't cover. I opened my eyes, and they were so slow and sluggish I almost didn't thought that they wouldn't open at all.

It was dark. Not pitch black I-can't-see-a-thing dark, but very dimly lit and dirty, which seemed to accentuate the darkness somehow. It looked like an abandoned warehouse; the kind where the bad guys do their dirty deals in the movies. It was large, empty for the most part, and looked like it had been empty for quite a while. There were several puddles of god knows what – I hoped it was just water – underneath dripping pipes that ran throughout the entire building.

I was on a bed/gurney-thing in the middle of the room, or rather, I was  _strapped to_ a bed/gurney-thing in the middle of the room. That accounted for the pressure I had felt at my wrists, ankles, and waist. Leather straps kept me restrained to the bed; I wouldn't be going anywhere in a hurry and, by the familiar sluggishness and fuzziness covering my brain, my kidnappers had further reinforced that idea by placing an IV into my left forearm and dosing me with a dreadfully familiar substance.

Ever since being dosed in the Triskelion, the drug had never been far from my thoughts, plaguing my nightmares. I had spent the last fifteen years using my powers; they were part of me, part of who I was, what made me… special. They're what made me different from the next person. They had played a big part of saving my life more times than I could count, never mind saving the lives of other people; people I loved. Who was I without them? To have them taken away from me… I couldn't even describe the desolation I felt. I didn't feel whole. I felt violated. They had taken something from me that was as intrinsically part of me as my left leg.

I felt like I could throw up and I wasn't entirely sure if that had anything to do with the drug, or whether it was a reaction from my mental state. It was all just so fucked up.

"Ah, you're awake."

The voice came from behind me, but I recognized it.

Agent McAshton walked around the bed so that she could see me, followed by a man in a lab coat, who proceeded to check the machines I was hooked up to. I blinked and opened my mouth, trying to form words, but my throat just didn't seem to want to cooperate. The woman smiled humorlessly.

"Do you not appreciate the hospitality that HYDRA can afford you, Bridget?" she asked, mockingly, opening her arms to indicate the dingy surroundings. "A year ago, we had some of the finest labs in the world, almost unlimited resources and our numbers were too large to count. And now… now I'm the most senior HYDRA agent left and all I have is half a dozen scientists and this dump." She walked around me to stand by my feet and my eyes followed her. "And you know what I also had a year ago? A purpose. A vision. A husband. A child. And then you and your boyfriend took all of that away from me."

The manic gleam in her eye terrified me, but I refused to let it show; I wouldn't be giving her that satisfaction.

She continued. "My grandfather worked directly under the Red Skull in the 40s. Did you know that? He would sit me down on his knee when I was a child and I would be so fascinated by all the stories he would tell me. But now, with your help, we will be surpassing even the Red Skull's wildest dreams. We will be rebuilding anew. We will keep you alive long enough for my scientists to replicate your mutation, but then I am going to take great pleasure in sending your body back to Captain America, piece by piece." She smiled. "How does it feel, knowing that you are the reason that HYDRA will soon be unstoppable?"

I felt sick. She was completely insane. No wonder Kate turned out to be HYDRA. Her mother was a true believer and she had had the HYDRA recruitment pack shoved down her throat since birth. To her, it must have been normal. She didn't understand that what she was doing wasn't right. Being a mutant and being sent to Xavier's school must have been a fortunate windfall for them. Kate would be able to identify any mutants with abilities that HYDRA would find useful.

And HYDRA creating soldiers that had my powers? They would be even more dangerous and harder to stop than in the past. And if they could genetically engineer my mutation, what would stop them from being able to fix the metabolism problem that was the major downside that came along with it? They would be practically unstoppable.

Agent McAshton nodded to the scientist, who proceeded to take a syringe out from somewhere and inject it into my IV.

"No offense," McAshton told me. "But I prefer it when you're asleep. Just in case. You understand."

My eyelids became heavier and heavier until eventually I couldn't open them anymore and unconsciousness took me.

* * *

I knew it was a dream the minute I woke up in my childhood bed.

The room was just as I remembered it; peach-colored floral wallpaper covering every wall. On the wall opposite my bed, the shelf with my gymnastics trophies stood; the metal gleaming in the light that streamed through the thin curtains. The smell of pancakes wafted up the stairs and tears came to my eyes.

There was only one reason my mother ever made pancakes.

I crept downstairs and walked into the kitchen. Mom had her back to me, but Dad greeted me with a warm smile from the kitchen table, where he was reading the newspaper.

"Happy Birthday, Bridgy." He set the paper down and opened his arms for a hug. I melted into his embrace, enjoying every last moment of this, even though I knew, subconsciously that this wasn't real.

Mom turned her head, still busy at the stove, but smiled at me as well. "Happy Birthday, baby," she said. "Sit yourself down. Birthday pancakes are coming."

I sat down in my regular seat at the kitchen table, my mind refusing to settle; taking in every detail of my surroundings. I remembered it all as if it was yesterday, not fifteen years ago. It was surreal.

Mom set a plate of pancakes drowning in syrup in front of me. "Just how you like them," she beamed.

"Enjoy them," Dad told me. "Because after, we need to have a talk."

My mouth went dry.

"A talk?" I croaked.

Mom shook her head. "Eat your pancakes, baby. You need your strength. Growing girl like you."

But there was an edge to her voice. I didn't touch my pancakes. "What's wrong?" I asked.

Mom and Dad exchanged a glance.

"Well," Dad began. "We just wanted to talk to you about the stuff you've been doing recently."

"Gallivanting about, almost getting yourself killed!" Mom burst out.

"It's my job, Mom!" I protested. "I save people. I help-"

"You?" Dad said, pointedly. "You didn't help much at the Triskelion, did you? Just got yourself shot and put Sharon in danger trying to get your sorry ass out of there."

"And you didn't do much to help Barnes, either, did you?" Mom asked. "He's still out wandering the globe and poor Steve is at home, missing his best friend. He trusted you to bring him back Bridget."

"People trusted you. The Avengers trusted you. Coulson trusted you." Dad folded his arms. "And look how that turned out."

"And me?"

The new voice took me by surprise. I spun around in my chair and Darren was behind me, wearing S.H.I.E.L.D. tactical gear. I stood up and backed away, keeping all three people in my sights.

"Why didn't you save me, Bridget?" he asked. He pressed his hand to his chest and it came away bloody. "You stood there and you watched me die. And you just forgot about me. Did you even mourn me? Or was I just a hanger on in our friendship? Did you even care about me at all?"

"No!" I protested, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Of course I cared! You died and it was like someone ripped out part of my soul. I try not to think about you because it hurts too damn much! You were one of my best friends; clearly the only one who considered  _me_  a friend. I watch you die every time when I close my eyes and every time I know it's my fault."

I ran out of the room and up the stairs, shutting myself in my bedroom and prayed that I would wake up soon.

* * *

I woke up to the smell of burning and heat all around me. The covers were suddenly ripped from me and I wrenched my eyes open, as fast as I could manage in my weary and drugged state. A figure loomed over me, silhouetted against the flames all around, and I shrank back, confused and frightened, but I couldn't get away; I was still strapped to the bed.

The figure grasped the leather strap around my waist with their metal hand and wrenched it open.

Wait… metal arm.

"Barnes?" I croaked. I looked down at my left arm as he wrenched my wrist free of the strap, and saw that the IV was gone. My head was clearing slightly, but I knew it wouldn't last long. I remembered my reaction to the drug the last time, and that was after just a short dose. This time, I had been under it continuously for a significantly longer time; I wasn't even sure how long HYDRA had had me. The crash down was going to be horrendous. "What are you doing?"

"Help you," he said gruffly, attacking the straps at my ankles. "Want you to be safe."

He was echoing the words I had said to him in the woods outside the school, I noticed.

"Oh," was all I could say. My brain just wasn't processing all of this properly. "Thank you," I told him. "I'm afraid I won't be much help. I'll be unconscious again in a minute. Just warning you." I could see the darkness at the edges of my vision, black spots dancing in front of my eyes.

"I'll keep you safe," was the last thing I heard as he scooped me up into his arms and I plunged into unconsciousness.


	23. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Great," I said, bitterly. "Another person who doesn't seem to think that I can take care of myself."
> 
> Steve gave me a pointed look. "You were gone from Avengers tower for less than twenty-four hours and you were kidnapped."
> 
> I closed my eyes. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"
> 
> "Nope," Steve agreed.

I opened my eyes and immediately wished I hadn't. The bright lights hurt my eyes and I immediately shut them again with a hiss.

"Jarvis, dim the lights."

I knew that voice. I opened my eyes again, glad that Jarvis had obeyed the command, and turned my head to face the direction the voice had come from.

Steve was sat in the chair next to what was obviously my hospital bed. I recognized the medical floor of Avengers Tower from all the time that I had been in it, mostly visiting Clint, to be honest; we joked about it, but he always ended up getting injured in some way after a mission.

I studied Steve's face. After our last meeting, I wasn't sure what to expect. Part of me had not expected him to want to be near me right now, even in the circumstance. But he looked relieved.

" _God,_ Bridge," he breathed. "You're okay. You're okay." He kept murmuring it, lowering his head so that his forehead rested on our clasped hands, which, I noticed, had been that way since before I even woke up.

"How long was I out?" I whispered. My throat felt like sandpaper and even though I had tried for full volume my voice didn't seem to want to come out any louder than a whisper.

"Five days," Steve told me, lifting his head to look at me again. "Bridge, we… We didn't think you were gonna wake up."

I frowned. "What happened? How did I get here? I don't…" I tried to remember but it was really fuzzy. I know I had been dreaming. I had had several really vivid dreams and they were jumbling with what I assumed were the real life events so much that I couldn't recall what had really happened and what had been a dream.

"Bucky." Steve leaned over and brushed the hair out of my eyes, tenderly. "Bucky had been watching you for days. He found you and got you out. In the process eliminating what we think has to be the last HYDRA cell in existence. They're gone, Bridge."

I breathed out. It seemed almost too good to be true. After all this time, to finally have them gone; no longer a threat? I couldn't comprehend.

"Barnes?" I asked, grasping onto something that seemed more logical, however marginally. "Where is he?"

Steve nodded to the other side of the room and I turned my head. Sure enough, Barnes was sat in another chair, against the wall. His position was perfect for seeing everything in the room without being backed into a corner. He was wide awake, watching us intently.

"He's refused to move the entire time you've been in here. Sam and I are the only ones he trusts enough to watch over you long enough for him to use the bathroom, and I have never known anyone to use the bathroom so quickly." The corner of Steve's mouth turned up, the way he did when something both amused and intrigued him. "He said he'd promised to keep you safe. He's not really said much else. Seems to have taken a shine to you."

I tilted my head. "Barnes?" I tried.

The man made no overt moves, but his head inclined ever so slightly, letting me know that he was listening.

"You mind giving us a minute?" I asked.

Barnes tensed and, sensing a crisis about to happen, I attempted to avert it.

"You can wait right outside the door and you can come right back in, I promise," I told him, hoping I was reading this right. "I just need a private moment with my… with Steve. Please?"

There was an unreadable expression on Barnes's face before, without a word, he got up and left the room.

I turned back to Steve to find him looking at me with his jaw dropped.

"What?" I asked, defensively.

"How did you do that?" he asked, wonder in his voice. "We have all been trying to get him to leave the room for five days."

I rolled my eyes. "I got him to stand outside the door, Steve," I pointed out. "It's not that much of an achievement. Plus," I added. "I'm pretty sure that if I'd've asked him to go any further, he would've had a panic attack or something."

Steve ran a hand through his hair. "Nearest the shrinks can figure, he's trying to fight against his programming. He's been taking down HYDRA facilities for the last six months; ones that we didn't even know existed. But there are gaps that he's been trying to fill as best as he can. They figure that he needs some sort of mission. A purpose. It was taking down HYDRA, but now HYDRA are gone, he seems to have made his mission… Well…  _you._ "

"What do you mean, 'me'?" I asked, frowning.

"As in," Steve explained. "He seems to have made protecting you his primary objective."

I sighed. "Great," I said, bitterly. "Another person who doesn't seem to think that I can take care of myself."

Steve gave me a pointed look. "You were gone from Avengers tower for less than twenty-four hours and you were kidnapped."

I closed my eyes. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"Nope," Steve agreed.

We were both silent for a minute or so.

"I'm sorry, Steve," I said, finally. "For… well… you know."

Steve shook his head. " _I'm_  sorry," he told me. "I overreacted. I was hurt that you lied to me; to all of us. But I –  _we –_ all soon realized that it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your secret to tell, after all." He shifted uncomfortably. "We had some…  _words_ … with Coulson."

"Coulson was here?" I asked.

"Still is," Steve said. "And most of his team. How do you think we found out you were missing?"

I imagined the scenario where Coulson had to tell the Avengers he lost me. The scene made me grin.

"Coulson told me you were pushing for him to come clean before we got married," Steve informed me. "Said you asked him to walk you down the aisle."

"Oh." I immediately felt uncomfortable. "Yeah… I mean… he's family. You know?"

Steve nodded. "Well, now everything's out in the open, there's nothing stopping us from setting a date."

My mouth dropped open. "You… you mean," I stammered. "You still want to get married? I haven't ruined it?"

Steve looked surprised, and then his expression softened. "Oh, darlin'," he murmured, taking my hand again and bringing it up to his lips, kissing it gently. "None of this was your fault. Don't ever think it was. It was a fucked up situation. If anything, I should be asking  _you_  if you still want to marry  _me,_  the way I acted."

I pulled my hand softly from his grasped and cupped his face instead. "I will always want to marry you, Steve Rogers," I told him firmly. "I would have to be completely crazy not to."

Steve grinned. "Plus," he said, on a slightly lighter note. "I think that if we didn't get married, Natasha may just kill us both, all the effort she put in to this."

I laughed.

"Speaking of," Steve continued. "I imagine Jarvis has alerted everyone that you're awake. I think there are a few people who want to see you. I won't let them all in at once. You just woke up. But is there anyone you particularly want to see first?"

I thought about it, but it was a no-brainer, really; the most logical option.

"Clint."

It took five minutes for someone to track Clint down. Part of me wasn't sure he'd even want to see me, but I wanted to make sure that he was okay, maybe explain myself if I could; see how he was handling all of this.

Barnes wouldn't be shifted from the room, having returned as Steve took the opportunity, knowing I was okay, to finally get some sleep – at more than a little urging from myself and Jarvis. I figured that, for the meanwhile, this was something that I was going to have to get used to. I only hoped that, when the time came, I would be allowed to use the bathroom by myself, or we would be having  _words._

Clint came into the room and then stopped short, eyeing Barnes.

"He's still here?" he asked, bluntly.

I nodded. "I seem to have gained a super-soldier bodyguard. I'm working on it, but I think we're gonna have to grin and bear it until he's deemed me safe to leave alone."

Clint snorted. "In that case, don't hold your breath."

"Hey!" I protested.

Barnes's normally solid facial expression twitched minutely, giving me the impression that he was slightly amused; the first crack I had seen in his persona since I had woken up, so I let Clint's comment slide.

I turned to Clint. "How are you doing?" I asked.

He threw himself into the chair Steve had vacated not too long ago. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" he asked. "You are the one in the hospital bed."

"You know what I mean," I said, trying to sit up, but my muscles felt like jelly. Clint came to my aid, pulling me up and rearranging my pillows so that I was more upright. "Thanks."

He shrugged, settling back down in the chair. "We talked," he admitted. "I wasn't sure whether I wanted to hug him to make sure he was real, or just punch him in the face."

I snorted. "I think that's a common reaction. It's the one I had, at least, when Fury decided I needed to know."

Clint nodded. "I understand, Bridge. I do. It's not your fault. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I just… I froze up and then I just… couldn't be there. I had to get away."

I reached out, wanting to touch him, to reassure him in some way. He grasped my hand and I squeezed his, reassuringly.

"In all fairness," I told him. "Coulson… the situation was shit. When I first found out… He didn't know what Fury had done to him; how he was alive. He didn't know if there would be side effects, if he was even the same person anymore. It took him a while to find the truth, but by that time, it had been too long… I'm not making excuses, Clint. It's just… I can see it from his point of view. If I thought there was something wrong with me, that there was a possibility that I might hurt Steve by not knowing what had happened, I'd stay away. I'm not saying that's right, I'm saying it would be my instinct. So that's why I agreed to keep it secret."

Clint was quiet for a few minutes, hand still in mine.

"I loved him," he said quietly. "We were together two years. We've been apart longer than that, now. And… I'm not sure how I feel anymore."

I rubbed my thumb over the skin of his wrist, comfortingly.

"I don't think anyone's asking you to figure it out right now," I pointed out.

Clint nodded, and then laughed to himself. "I came in here to make sure  _you_ were okay," he said. "You were kidnapped and then unconscious for five days. And now you're sorting out  _my_  love life."

I shrugged slightly, my muscles aching too much to make the gesture bigger. "You know me. I'd much rather listen to other peoples' problems than have to pay attention to my own."

"I know. But now is healing time," Clint ordered. I nodded, reluctantly, yawning. "Do you want me to leave? Let you have some rest?"

I wrinkled my nose. "I slept for five days. I shouldn't need rest!" I protested.

"Doctor's orders!" Clint countered. "Doc told us to let you rest. Everyone else can see you when you wake up." He turned to leave.

"No, wait!" I called, causing Clint to turn back. "Send Coulson in? Two minutes. I promise. Then I'll sleep."

Clint's eyes narrowed, but he considered it. "Fine," he agreed, eventually. "Two minutes." He left the room and Coulson slinked in a few seconds later.

"I've been informed that if it looks like you're trying to stay awake, I'm to make you go to sleep," he told me.

I rolled my eyes. "Clint's a worrywart."

Coulson nodded. "For a man who protests so much when he's the one in medical, he fights to make other people stay there."

I smiled, briefly. "I'm sorry I left without an escort," I told him.

Coulson let out a surprised laugh. This was obviously not what he expected me to say. "Well, as you got kidnapped because you disobeyed me, we can call it a lesson learned, yes?" I nodded, with a chuckle. "Although you took years from my life."

"Yeah, okay," I conceded. "But at least you're talking to the Avengers again, right? Good things came from it. Maybe I should get kidnapped more often."

There was a strangled noise from the other side of the room and we looked over to see Barnes looking like he had swallowed something rather large and unpleasant.

"Let's go with no," Coulson said.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Hey, what do you suppose the odds are on me giving Barnes a heart attack with my crazy stunts before Christmas?"

"Christmas? Let's see him make it 'til the end of the week, then we can talk about Christmas."


	24. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You deserve this. You have waited a ridiculously long time for this, and gone through hell. You deserve a little bit of happiness."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because you've all been so amazing, here's the epilogue straight away!

"You ready for this?"

I spun my head to face Clint, tearing my eyes away from the mirror where I had been studying myself for the last five to ten minutes; I wasn't entirely sure how long. Clint was standing in the doorway, looking very good in a black tux with a pale blue vest and tie. Tony had tried to talk us into a red, white, and blue theme but, as with most of Tony's 'helpful' suggestions over the last few months, we chose not to listen.

Laura, Skye and Simmons – who had insisted I started calling her Jemma, I reminded myself – were fussing around the room in dresses the same pale blue as Clint's vest.

I smiled at him, a little nervously, and Clint turned to the other women. "Hey, ladies, you mind giving us a minute?"

Skye and Jemma left the room, bickering over flowers. Laura grabbed Lila, who was coloring quietly in the corner in her blue and white flower girl dress, popped a friendly kiss on Clint's cheek before leaving me alone with my best friend.

"You sure you want to do this?" Clint asked. "Because if you are the slightest bit not sure, I can go out there and tell everybody to go away. You know I would."

I laughed, some of the nervous energy petering away. "Yeah, Clint," I told him. "I know you would. And thank you. But I'm sure. I'm just a little nervous. Not used to being the centre of attention, you know?"

Clint nodded. "Yeah, I know. But, Bridge? You deserve this. You have waited a ridiculously long time for this, and gone through hell. You deserve a little bit of happiness."

I hugged him, taking a moment to just appreciate the fact that I was here and this was happening, and I had everyone here, even the people I was terrified wouldn't be here.

"I'm fine," I murmured. "But can I just have two seconds alone?" I asked. "I need to..." I made an aborted gesture to the dressing table, where a framed photo of my parents that Dr Grey-Summers had kept safe for me when I had missed it while collecting my belongings from storage, stood amongst the clutter and various girly things Laura, Skye and Jemma had subjected me to throughout the day.

Clint nodded, pressed a kiss to the top of my head and gave me a quick squeeze, before leaving me alone with my parents.

I sucked in a deep breath and picked up the photo, running my fingers lightly over the glass protecting it.

"Well mom, dad," I began. "It's my wedding day. I know. I hardly believe it's happening. Half of me's convinced that I'm going to wake up and it's all been a weird dream. I mean, since you've been gone, my life hasn't exactly been normal. I found out I was a mutant and had to go to mutant school. I became a secret government agent. I became friends with Captain freakin' America. Aliens invaded. It was a whole big mess." I paused. "Someone I cared about died and then came back to life. I found out my secret government organization was full of members of an even more secret Nazi group, got betrayed, lost my job, lost my best friends, and had to go into hiding. I got kidnapped by the deranged mother of the friend who betrayed me and got rescued by a former Soviet Assassin who was presumed dead in World War 2, and has now pretty much become the unofficial bodyguard I never asked for and never really wanted, but wouldn't trade for anything. And I would bet money that he is less than six paces from that door."

I sighed. "And somewhere, in the middle of all that, I fell in love. Steve... He's amazing, you guys. You would've loved him so much. He makes me laugh; makes me feel safe. But he challenges me too. He makes me feel...  _alive._ You know? I don't know how to describe it. All I know is, he's the one I want by my side for the rest of my life." I laughed. "Well, I guess you already knew that, or I wouldn't be marrying him." I laughed again and a small tear escaped, sliding down my cheek.

"I wish you guys were here. Maybe if the world was fair, you would be. Mom would have been here to help me get ready, to get me into this ridiculous dress, or tell me to stop whining about these torture instruments that pass for shoes. Dad would be cracking stupid jokes and asking me if I still wanted this, and he wouldn't tell anyone that he had threatened Steve to treat me well, but we'd all know, because that's just something he would have done. And Steve would have let him, too. Because that's just the kind of guy he is. He's respectful. Not in an annoyingly outdated way, but in the way that men should be, like the right amount of respectful..."

I sat down in the chair. "I miss you guys, so much. But I hope that you'd be proud of me; proud of the things I've done. I kinda somehow got a new family somewhere along the way. I didn't really notice it happen. I mean, this wedding... Skye and Jemma attacked my face and hair before lacing me into this dress and Laura threatened me into these stupid shoes. Tony paid for everything, wouldn't take no for an answer. Bruce started plying me with different teas every time I got too stressed with wedding planning. Natasha... I'm not certain that any of this would have happened without Natasha talking some sense into Steve. Thor's been keeping everything as light-hearted as possible, making us all laugh with ridiculous stories. Barnes is good at keeping people away when I've just had enough with people. Clint... Clint offered to go out there and tell everyone to go home if I didn't want to go through with it, and judging by how wary Steve's been around Coulson the last few days, I'm almost one hundred percent certain that he had a talk with my future husband. So..." I paused. "So, it's okay, you guys. I'm in good hands. I'm okay."

I placed the frame back on the dressing table and a small movement in the mirror caught my eye.

"How long have you been there?" I asked.

"That's need to know," Fury said, deadpan.

I stood and turned to face him. "I'd ask how you got past Barnes if I thought for a moment that you'd tell me anything."

Fury shrugged. "I have my ways," was all he said, as I knew he would.

"With all due respect, sir," I said, bluntly. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm not anyone's 'sir' anymore, Benson."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think I could address you as anything else but 'sir', sir," I told him. "To your face, at least," I added as an afterthought.

Fury's lips twitched as if he was going to crack a smile, but his face remained as expressionless as always and I just matched his gaze, challengingly.

"I thought I owed you an explanation," Fury conceded. "For what I did... With Coulson... What I had planned for you..."

I blinked. Of all the things to happen on my wedding day, I never would have imagined this to be one of them. Fury, explaining himself? It was like a miracle. Were wedding miracles even a thing? They would be after this.

"I planned for Coulson to succeed me for years," Fury told me. "Hill was too young, has less experience in the field. She was suited to be Assistant Director. She's tactically minded, but she can't really see the big picture. Coulson can. And I knew that Coulson would need someone who he could train, could mould, to be for him what he was for me. And in time, that person would succeed him as director of S.H.I.E.L.D."

I blinked. "So…" I tried to understand what he was saying. "What you're telling me is, if all this HYDRA shit hadn't come out of the woodwork, in the next thirty years or so, I would've become director of S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

Fury inclined his head. "I must admit, the HYDRA thing blindsided me. I don't like being blindsided."

"And…" My mind was racing. "What you did to Coulson?"

"Was partially selfish, but at the time, I convinced myself that it was for the greater good." Fury paced slightly and my eyes followed him as he walked. "There was no one else I trusted to take my position. You weren't anywhere near ready, Hill wasn't right for it, and then Coulson wasn't dead. He couldn't be dead. The future – the one I where people would be  _safe_  – needed him in it." He leveled me with a look. "You've seen the things that Coulson has accomplished since he came back… Garrett and the whole Centipede Project alone, you really think any other agent would have done what Coulson did? Would have had those sort of results? Where would the world be if Garrett hadn't been stopped? If there were Centipede soldiers roaming the streets?"

I hated it when Fury was right, and he was right a large percentage of the time.

"And you say you're no longer a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, but how many ops have you been on with Coulson and his team since 'HYDRAgate'? You really think that you're not still on track for that future? That future may be slightly different now, and you may have less to work with, less resources, less people, but S.H.I.E.L.D. still exists, Benson. And one day it will be yours, whether you're convinced of it or not."

I looked away. There was an uncomfortable silence that stretched between us until Fury cleared his throat and pulled a package from under his coat.

"Anyway," he said, a little awkwardly. "I just wanted to say congratulations and Happy Wedding Day, and everything."

He passed me the package, which was a slim box wrapped in brown package paper. I opened it, curiously and when I lifted the lid off, my breath caught in my chest. In the box was my life. Birth certificates, both mine and my parents', my parents' wedding certificate, my SAT scores, my S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy admission papers, my S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel file. Everything that had been destroyed along with my old identity, my old life.

Tears ran freely down my face and I looked up to thank Fury to say… something, but, as I should have expected, he had disappeared.

I tried to compose myself, putting the lid back onto the box and fixing my makeup, hopefully making it appear as if I hadn't been crying.

There was a knock on the door and I took one last look in the mirror, smoothing down my dress and deeming myself presentable before I answered it.

Coulson stood on the other side.

"Hey," he greeted. "Everything's set…" he trailed off as he studied my face. "What's wrong?" he asked.

I shook my head. I should've known he would be able to tell. "Nothing. Just an unexpected wedding crasher."

Coulson took in the room behind me, seeing the box and the layout of the room and came up with an extremely short list of people who could have possibly made it into the room undetected.

"Fury."

I nodded. "I think… I think, whatever just happened there, I think that was Fury, trying to make amends."

Coulson nodded imperceptibly. He and Fury would always have a complicated relationship and I couldn't even begin to fathom it.

"Are we good to go?" I asked.

Coulson nodded. "We are."

I took a deep breath. "Okay then. Barnes!" I didn't have to say it too loudly. I knew he would be nearby. "Get your a-" I eyed Lila, who was at the age where she picked up  _everything_ , and quickly reversed on that word. "- _butt_  up to that alter. We're starting."

There was no sound, but a shadow in the corner became noticeably less dark as a figure peeled himself out of it and walked the path that I was soon to take.

I sighed. Barnes was getting better as each day went by, regaining more and more of his memories, but he would never be that same person he was before. But he wasn't the Winter Soldier anymore either. He was more of a mix between the two, quieter and more serious than Bucky ever was, but not as cold or unfeeling as the Winter Soldier, either. But he still hated when he didn't know where I was. We were working on it.

Laura sent Lila up the aisle first, and then got into place in front of the line Skye and Jemma had formed and my three bridesmaids made their way one-by-one into the hall. Clint gave me one last hug and pressed a quick kiss to Coulson's lips before heading out as well.

"Thank you," I said to Coulson, taking the arm he offered to me. He looked at me, quirking an eyebrow slightly. "For being here, for being you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Coulson shook his head. "I think I should be thanking you," he argued. "You kept me together when I was falling apart. You're a good person and an amazing friend, Benson. And don't ever forget how much I appreciate it." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Plus," he added. "Thanks to you, I'm getting to attend my childhood hero's wedding. It's like a dream come true. Ten year old Phil Coulson is crying right now."

I grinned. "So, what you're saying is that there is nothing you wouldn't do to repay me the honor I have bestowed upon you this day?"

Coulson rolled his eyes. "Don't push it."

I laughed as, my arm in his, Coulson took me through the doorway and guided me to my future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the single biggest thing I have ever written and the only multi-chaptered fanfiction I have ever finished. I am so proud of it. It's been an amazing 9 months (exactly) and I'm going to miss this. 
> 
> I do have one more chapter of My Place in This World, detailing exactly what The Avengers and Coulson's team were doing while Bridget was kidnapped and rescued by Bucky, so if you want to read that, subscribe/follow that story. It shouldn't be long!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!!


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